Standing Tall
by smoria
Summary: Donna is faced with an assault. This is the third in a series of five stories.


**Standing Tall**

DISCLAIMER: _The West Wing_ and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement or disrespect is intended to this excellent show and its creators. Any original characters and situations remain the property of the author and may not be reproduced, published, distributed or otherwise stolen without permission. You have been warned.   
  


# Chapter 1 

**Just an Ordinary Day**

"Margaret, come shopping with me tomorrow," said Donna walking fast to catch up with her friend. 

"No Donna. Go away now." Margaret sped up in an effort to lose her. They turned the corner at such a clip that Ginger had to dive for the wall to avoid a collision. 

"Margaret, slow down. You are not going to lose me. I have better shoes than you." Donna persisted. Margaret halted and pulled Donna into Sam's office. 

"Donna, we have talked about this many time," Margaret hissed. "I hate shopping with you. I have told you this and you have sat before me nodding attentively as if to indicate understanding. I remember all of this distinctly. And yet you continue to stalk me. What have I done to deserve this?" 

"Margaret, you are my very dear friend. There is no one else with whom I would like to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon in DC. We'll talk. We'll gossip. I'll tell you what Josh says about Leo behind his back. You'll tell me what Leo says. It'll be fun." 

"Donna, shopping with you is not fun," Margaret whined. "And don't start telling me it's your astrological sign. I don't give a damn. Besides, you being a Libra does not even begin to explain your shopping neuroses." 

"Margaret, you are being overly dramatic about this." 

"I am not! Donna, one purchase for you takes like, eight hours. It's excruciating. You find something at one store and then we have to go to five more stores just to make sure that there isn't something better. Then you stand there for twenty minutes asking some poor salesperson for all the details on the turtleneck you have in your hand. It's like you assume that they do laboratory research on the merchandise in their spare time or something. They hide when they see you coming, Donna. I've seen it." 

"Margaret, I have a date tonight. And I thought that a little shopping trip would be the perfect opportunity for you to pry some of the details out of me." 

"That's blackmail, Donna," Margaret said searching for some high moral ground upon which to stand. 

"No, Margaret, it's not. It's just that I have to find one simple, black, silk, sleeveless shell for underneath my new tan jacket. I really need this item. And this would probably be the only time I will have the entire weekend to talk about anything. Although, I suppose it could wait until next week sometime," Donna said innocently. 

"This item is not a hard thing to find, Donna. It really shouldn't take a long time, you understand. And so I might be willing to go, but I would need a few assurances," Margaret said carefully. 

"Name them." 

"You do not ask any questions about the silkworms themselves. You do not ask the salesperson about the working conditions of the seamstresses who produced the garment. And we only go to three stores. Those are my conditions." 

"Well, those are important questions," Donna said considering her position carefully. 

"There is no room for negotiation." Margaret was standing firm. 

"All right, Margaret, I'll do it." 

"Donna, who are you going out with tonight?" Then she saw the mischievous look on Donna's face and cringed inwardly. She could tell Donna was in the frame of mind to prove a little point to a certain somebody. 

"You wouldn't happen to have a date this evening with someone from Senator Sherman's office, would you?" Margaret asked warily. 

"Yup." 

"Donna! Josh told you not to see him." 

"Did you hear yourself, Margaret? My boss thinks he can dictate my social life. My boss wants to tell me whom I can and cannot see. My civil rights are being violated." 

"Senator Sherman is a ranking Republican. This is not a good idea." 

"I have heard all of this, Margaret. In fact, my boss, Josh, was even so good as to tell me that Tucker Grey, my date, is only interested in what kind of information he can get out of me. This would be the only reason he would want to spend time with me according to the Great Lyman himself." 

"Oh boy, you're pretty mad at Josh, aren't you?" Margaret asked anxiously. 

"Yeah, but I think I'm gonna feel better in just a few minutes," Donna said with a gleam in her eye. Margaret was starting to think this would be a good time for her to go home or to, at least, take cover. Before she could do either, a familiar voice sounded done the hallway. 

"Donna! Donna!" The volume increased with each bellow of her name. 

"Oh boy.' Margaret said anxiously. She sank down in one of Sam's chairs in an effort to make herself smaller. Donna looked supremely unconcerned. She yawned a little and waited for Josh to locate her. When he stormed through the communication area, she sprang out of Sam's office. 

"Josh, I heard you calling for me. Is everything okay? I only left my post for a moment," said Donna showing dramatic concern on her face. 

"Oh there you are. It's my lovely Donna. Always around when I need her." Josh gave her a smile. Standing behind Donna, Margaret thought it was probably the most dangerous smile she had ever seen. 

"At your service!" Donna stood at mock attention. 

"This is retribution isn't it? Why not? I mean, I should have expected it, right? We all know how perilous it is to try and tell you anything. Why would I think you would just listen to me and understand?" Josh threw his arms up in bewilderment. 

"Why don't you just tell me what you want, Josh?" Donna remained unimpressed. 

"I thought maybe you could tell me why the wives of five Republican congressmen are seated in my office." 

"Maybe... they were tired of standing." Donna pretended to consider this carefully. 

"Donna!" Josh's voice rose. Margaret jumped a little and she wondered how Donna was able to keep her composure. "You know, I have a ...thing, a business consultant meeting thing, this evening. I don't have time for this nonsense." 

"That's what he calls his dates with Joey Lucas." Donna turned her head a little to inform Margaret who wished Donna would leave her out of it. 

"I am not dating...Donna, would you please go and remove the Republican wives from my office?" Josh was exasperated. 

"No, I won't." Donna stood firm before him with her arms folded across her chest. "It wouldn't be right. This morning you told me that sometimes you just have to suck it up for the team. That's a sports metaphor by the way," she added as an aside for Margaret. "Aging athletes love to use them." She ignored Josh's glare. "Well I thought about that for a long time while I was walking down to the EOE to file a civil rights violation against you for trying to dictate my personal life. But then I stopped suddenly and realized that you're right. Sometimes, you do have to take it in the cojones for the team." Josh winced. "So I came back. That's when I heard that someone had screwed up an appointment for these wives. I thought that this would be a perfect opportunity for you to join me in taking one for the team. Wasn't that great of me?" Donna cocked her head at him. Their eyes met in a mutual glare. After a minute, Josh silently turned and marched out of the communications area brushing past Toby who was standing there annoyed at the theatrics being played out on his turf. 

"It shouldn't take long. They are upset about school prayer or something. You should be done by 10, 11 at the latest," she called after him. 

"Are you really sure you should have done that?" Margaret inquired meekly. 

"No." Donna looked miserable for the first time. "But I couldn't let him get away with being an idiot. I'm just glad that I have the weekend to figure out how to fix this." 

"Okay." 

"Tomorrow, 3p.m. in front of Nordstroms, okay?" 

"I would suggest that you really enjoy yourself this evening, Donna. You paid a high enough price," Margaret said softly to herself as Donna walked away. Margaret had no idea how high that price would become.   
  
*****************************************************

"What the hell was that?" C.J. exclaimed as Toby entered his office. He wasn't surprised to find her there, lounging comfortably on his couch. 

"I am not completely sure. Those two have been having mixing it up all day. Bonnie and Ginger say it has something to do with some Republican she wants to date. They say Josh put his foot down and now her rights are being violated or something. Ginger and Bonnie themselves were getting a little indignant about the whole thing so I told them that I didn't give a crap who they dated. Told them to find a boyfriend from the Hezbollah for all I cared. Anything to get some work done around here." Toby didn't come to join her on the couch. He went to sit behind his desk and eyed her warily. She knew she would have to approach this carefully. 

"Well you certainly are a sweet fella, you know that?" She tried a little gentle teasing to loosen him up. 

"Yeah," he said glumly. "You're here so we can have the conversation, right?" 

"Yeah, but to look at you, a person would think I was here to harvest your organs or something." 

"You got so mad at me the last time we had to talk about this." Toby looked a little anxious. 

"In two days, you and I have a little vacation planned, three days is all we'll have, and yet we have no idea what to do with that time. It's time to figure this out." 

"Yeah. Should I assume that you haven't warmed to the Yankee stadium idea? They're having a great three game series against the Cubs. I think, you know, I could help you see Baseball in a whole new way." 

"Sure, Toby, but we both need some time away doing what relaxes us the most. And I do not see the Yankees doing that for me. It's bad enough when they are on the TV, you with the shouting and the running commentary." 

"Well, I'm not sure that I really want to sleep on the cold ground under a piece of nylon." 

"Yes, I know" C.J. began slowly. She was going to have to play this just right. "So I have a solution." 

"What?" he replied warily. 

"Well, Toby, we both need a rest and some time for reflection, so I suggest that we each do the thing we want to the most." 

"Separate vacations? Isn't it a little early in this relationship for us to be needing time apart?" Toby wore a concerned look. 

"Absolutely, but this would not be time apart because of the relationship. It would be time apart so that we each can enjoy ourselves." C.J. reasoned carefully. 

"Oh." 

"I can go camping and you can sit at Yankee stadium. Problem solved." 

"I would sit at the stadium by myself?" Toby looked miserable. 

"Sure. And then I could hike and sleep under the stars." 

"By yourself?" Toby was beginning to circle around the bait. 

"Yeah. I have done it a lot, Toby. I know what I'm doing." 

"You would be sleeping inside the nylon thing?" 

"You know, Toby, in really sophisticated circles, we call it a tent." 

"The only thing that would be protecting you from whatever lurks in this forest will be a thin piece of nylon." Toby was ignoring her attempts at education. 

"I know what I'm doing." C.J. assured him. Toby was beginning to nibble. 

"Well, you can't go alone," he announced. C.J. waited to hook him tight. "You'll just have to find someone to go with you," he continued. C.J. sighed deeply as she watched him swim away. 

"Who do you know?" Toby was going to help her with this. "How about that blonde person from Justice?" 

"Paula Miller, you mean. Well, I think her husband and four children would need a little more notice." C.J. was beginning to be annoyed. 

"There is that Sharon woman from the GAO." 

"Toby, Sharon is in Europe right now with a nice boyfriend who compromises with her." C.J. pointed daggers at him. Toby was beginning to sense that he was in trouble again and he grew silent. C.J. was ready to jump off the couch and storm out of the office, slamming the door for effect, when she suddenly hit upon it. 

"Don't worry, Toby. I think I know someone who could make some time for this." C.J. got up and started to gather her things together. 

"Is it anyone I know? Is it maybe one of the brunettes you talk to out of the pentagon?" Toby was curious. 

"You're amazing, Toby. You always remember where they work and their hair color. Other than that, they all sort of run together for you, don't they?" 

"So I'm flawed. This is news to you?" Toby said a little impatiently. "Tell me, which girlfriend are you taking?" 

"None of them. I'm going to take Josh," she said nonchalantly starting to walk out the door. 

"C.J.! Sit down." Then he saw the look on her face. "Please!" She sat down looking up at him expectantly. 

"Why would you want to take Josh? He's no good for a thing like this." 

"He wants to go. I talked to him earlier. You should be happy. I'll definitely be safe with him around." C.J. hoped that her bluff would do the trick. 

"Maybe so. Maybe so. I just didn't know that he was a camper. He has equipment and everything?" 

"Well no. But that's okay because I have everything. And my tent is big enough for the both of us." C.J. played her trump card. 

"I've seen your so-called tent. Remember, you put it up in your living room to annoy me after we had the fight. It is not a very big thing. It's certainly not big enough for the two of you," said Toby critically. 

"It'll be fine, Toby. Besides it might get cold at night and so it's better that it be small so that we can share body heat." C.J. pretended to be oblivious to his growing discomfort. 

"What! I don't like the sound of this." Toby's brow had furled so tightly his eyebrows were almost touching. 

"Toby, we're just friends. This is nothing for you to be concerned about." C.J. was trying not to enjoy herself too much. 

"Nevertheless, I think we should rethink this whole separate vacation thing. It's unnecessary. Surely, a compromise can be reached." 

"No Yankee stadium. And I want to go camping." C.J. said firmly. 

"This is your compromise?" 

"You should not have spent the last two weeks being stubborn, avoidant, and difficult. At this point in the process, this is the best I can do." 

"C.J., you don't understand. I have no idea how to be a camper. It will be embarrassing for you to have me there. I will not be helpful. I'm sure to end up cranky and difficult. I will wear the wrong clothes and then you'll laugh at me. I have no clue as to how to build your nylon tent with the sticks. Plus I will be no good when it comes time to gather food or fish or whatever we have to do in order to feed ourselves." Toby was looking miserable again. 

C.J. was having some trouble maintaining her composure. She tried to control her face, but was unable to keep up with the quivers that kept erupting all around her mouth. She wanted to respond to his concerns, but she was afraid of letting go. When her eyes began filling with tears of laughter, it became too much for her and she fell to pieces. Collapsing onto the couch, her laughter exploded. She was laughing for so many reasons. She was laughing because he thought they would have to forage for food. She was laughing about his outrage at the idea of Josh camping with her. And she was laughing because he was the sweetest, funniest, and most cantankerous man she had ever met. It took a minute for her to pull herself together again. She could see him sitting behind his desk scowling at her. 

"Are you finished yet, Claudia? Perhaps, I could do a little dance for my next number," he said irritably. It was work for him to maintain his frown. Although he wasn't happy that she was laughing at him, her beautiful laughter was so infectious that he always found himself softening in the face of it. 

"Toby, you're such a sweet man," she began. " And I am very sorry to be laughing so rudely." She gave him her best look of apology. Toby continued his hangdog look. He was hoping to retain his victim status for a little while longer. 

"Toby, I think we can put your worries to rest." C.J. said. "First off, the tent will take me only about fifteen minutes to set up. There will be stakes to pound in and that can be your job. Secondly, in regards to the food," C.J. had to swallow the waves of laughter that continued to threaten her composure. "This time, I think we'll bring all the food we'll need. I have a lovely camp stove and you would be surprised at what we can cook up in the wild." She could see that he was looking less distressed so she continued. 

"As for clothes, Toby, we do have to get you a few things." 

"I don't have time to do all kinds of shopping this weekend. I have to work so that I'm not behind when I get back." 

"I know. I'll take care of everything. All you need to do is give me your cash card." 

"You'll buy me things that I'll hate." Toby complained. 

"No, I promise to buy you clothes in the most drab colors available." 

"Don't buy me shorts. I don't like my legs out in the sun." 

"Well, I don't know why. You have lovely legs." 

"C.J.!" 

"Okay! Okay, I won't buy you shorts," she said reaching for the card he had so reluctantly removed from his wallet. "Am I going to see you tonight?" she asked. 

"I don't know. I want to finish this draft before I leave. It could be very late." 

"I really like waking up next to you." C.J. gave him a soft smile. 

"It won't disturb you too much if I'm coming in very late?" 

"Not at all." 

"Okay." He got up from his desk to see her off. 

He gave her a quick good-bye kiss and she whispered into his ear. "I bought a sleeping bag for two, you know, and I have to tell you that Josh is really not the person with whom I wanted to share it." 

"You get to sleep in tomorrow. It's Saturday." He returned into her ear. "I'm just saying this because there is a chance that you might accidentally wake up when I come over tonight." 

"And if I "accidentally" wake up?" 

"Well, if you are awake, we might see if that sleeping bag is really big enough for two people. Don't you think?"   
  
*****************************************************

The lights in the West Wing were dimmed. The hallways were empty and all of the machines of the computer age were dark and silent. It was 4 a.m. and there were almost no sounds to be heard except for the occasional footsteps in the hallways of Secret Service agents and cleaning staff. It felt different to see this place so quiet. She associated the West Wing with energy, the sounds of people everywhere shouting, talking, laughing. Right now, she needed the West Wing to be a place of safety and comfort. Instead, she was having a hard time recognizing the rooms in which she spent 70-80 hours of every week. They seemed so devoid of life. 

Even though it was summer, she wore a light coat over some running clothes she found at the back of her closet. And now, she sat at her desk quietly waiting to explode. At least that's what she thought might happen. After all, in the space of the few hours, her life had been turned completely inside out. It would never be the same again. What else are you supposed to do when your life appears shattered before you? She found herself being curious about this question is a detached sort of way. 

She continued to wait. She wondered why this should be the place for her to be right now above all others. She couldn't answer that for herself. Nothing really made much sense. Although at the back of her mind, thoughts nagged at her. Things she knew she should or could do. She knew they were there, but she couldn't find a way to reach them. So she sat and waited some more.   
  
  


In the communications area, Toby was packing up his things. He finally had a draft that he could give to the President. He was aware of the quiet as well. But he was used to the West Wing at night. He liked the dark and empty hallways. Some of his best thinking happened when he waited until everyone else went home. He would fall deeply into his projects and this produced some of his best work. 

Toby usually stayed a little longer after he finished something. He might review a position paper or read background on an issue. It helped him transition after the fierce concentration he used to complete work for the President. But he no longer reached for this wind down projects. For the first time in a long time, he had something in his life other than work. That something, in fact, had made some very interesting suggestions to him before she left 8 hours earlier. And he found himself quite eager to further explore the nature of these suggestions. 

All packed up, he headed out of the communications area, the sounds of his footsteps in the hallway taking center stage in a way they never could in the loud din of a West Wing day. His head was filled with thoughts of the amazing woman who was filling his life with feelings that he thought were dead for him. In his distraction, he almost missed the presence of another person in the section next to his. He did a double take and stopped to look more carefully. It wasn't unprecedented for someone else to be working late or coming in early, but he was curious. He wanted to make sure that there wasn't a crisis unfolding. His interest faded when he saw only one head sitting at a desk. He would have walked off, but then he noticed that there was no light on in front of this person. 

Toby put his things down in the hallway and walked into the room. As he got closer, he could make out a blonde head in a light jacket with her back to him. 

"Hello," he said softly. The woman jerked a little when he spoke. He wondered if he had woken her. He approached her and made out what he thought was a familiar face. 

"Donna, is that you?" he asked. 

"Oh, Toby," she said shaking her head a little. 

"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" 

"I thought it was almost day." She looked disheveled and unfocused. Toby was confused. 

"Have you been here all night?" 

"No," she said cryptically. 

"Josh doesn't have you here at 4 a.m. for any reason, does he?" 

"No." 

"Donna, is there something wrong?" 

Donna thought for a minute. There was most certainly something wrong, but it was not clear to her what she should do about it or who she could tell. She needed more time to think. She needed to stop feeling like she was in the middle of a bad dream where everything was beyond her control. 

"Donna?" 

"I'm okay, Toby. I guess I'm just very tired right now." 

"Why don't you go home? I would be happy to take you. Get some rest." Toby had a worried look on his face. Through her daze, she noticed it. She was used to Angry Toby, Impatient Toby, and Anxious Toby. She had very little experience with Concerned Toby. 

"I'm okay," she assured him. 

"Let me at least walk out with you." When she got to her feet, he guided her to the door before him. He was pretty sure that this was more than exhaustion, but she didn't want to talk so there was nothing he could do. He started to ramble a little hoping that something he was saying would hit home. 

"If Josh is working you too hard, I want to know about it. I used to do that to my assistants too, you know. Then one day, I looked around the office I was in at the time and not one of the staff had been there for more than a month. I had driven them all away. And the new ones already were looking like zombies. If Bonnie and Ginger worked for me five years ago, they would have been the Living Dead too. Not that they don't feel like I work them too hard sometimes. I guess I do sometimes, but it's only when I have to, you see. So if this is what's going on here, I know what to do about it. I'll just take Josh aside and..." 

"No Toby, really, this is not about Josh. Please, I just need to go home." She looked away from him as she said this. Toby thought about saying more, but she seemed supremely uninterested. "So much for trying to be Mr. Nice Guy," he grumbled to himself as he followed her out the door.   
  
  


# Chapter 2 

**Darkness **

Josh sat in his office Saturday morning with his feet up on his desk. He could hear some movement out of the weekend staff, but otherwise it was pretty quiet. Unlike his colleague, Josh didn't appreciate the West Wing at its most quiet. He fed on the energy of hundred things happening simultaneously. He craved action. He didn't know what to do with the silence. So he sat there impatiently, trying to pass time by making spit balls out of the letter left with him by the Republican wives. 

"Hi there." Sam announced sunnily as he appeared in Josh's doorway. 

Josh responded by blowing two of his biggest bombers in Sam's direction. Sam ducked in the face of this barrage. He straightened and gave Josh an "I'm too quick for you" look. Josh decided not to tell him that one of the spitballs had nestled itself prominently on the top of his head. 

"You're late, Sam." 

"Not so late," Sam disagreed. 

"Yeah, well, I don't really feel like spending my entire weekend here so let's get this thing done." 

"I've read everything on this. It's going to be about state's rights. We can't get away from it. There's no way, Josh." 

"Well then, we're not using our heads, Sam." 

"Whatever," Sam said. Josh gave him a look. 

"Let's review this. The Violence Against Women Act is coming up for reauthorization in the next session. If it passes with our new measures, then there is stronger recourse for women who are sexually and physically assaulted. Crimes against women can be seen as hate crimes and therefore, the federal government can step in when local authorities fail. Is that about right, Sam?" 

"Yeah, but it's been controversial. All of the courts do not see crime against women as gender biased. Since the act was established, it has been challenged continually. Add to that, the fact that it is more federal intrusion, and we have ourselves a tough fight." 

"It's a necessary bill," Josh urged. 

"And I'm not convinced, Josh. First of all, I can't find sufficient evidence to suggest that the states are not doing the best they can to prosecute men who offend against women. I also find little to suggest that a reauthorization of this bill is going to make a difference even if there is gender bias in the court system." 

"Sam, you're just not trying..." 

"No, Josh, that's not what's going on here so don't patronize me, okay? I am the most thorough person you or I will ever know. I just don't think that this is worth our time. It's a bill to back up what is already being done." 

"Sam..." 

"Listen to me. I'm not saying that violence against women in this country has been eliminated or anything. All I have to do is pick up the morning's metro section to know the truth about that. Josh, the President doesn't want a state's rights battle on his hands in this session. You've heard him say it. The American people are tired of the federal government stepping in everywhere. So you really want to bring this half-baked reauthorization to him and ask him to risk everything for it?" 

"You're feeling pretty passionate about this, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, 'cause I feel like a heel going against something that is supposed to protect victims. And...I don't know. There's something about it that makes me uncomfortable. There's so little meat in it that I don't really get why anyone cares." 

"Well, women do. And I do," Josh replied firmly. 

"So you want me to help you drag this into the President." 

"No." 

Okay?" 

"There is a meeting on Monday that you should go to. It's a girl's group. I invited them to come and visit the White House. They have some perspective on this. They are teen-agers who have done some amazing things. I want you to go with me." 

"Josh, you're kidding, right?" Sam whined. 

"No, my young friend, I am not." 

"Is this some sort of punishment?" 

"Sam, you do realize that I'm not Toby, don't you?" 

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Sam grumbled to himself as he left the office.   
  
*****************************************

Margaret pounded on her door for several minutes waiting for a response. It should have been pretty clear to her that no one was home except that she just felt so strange about all of this. Donna was always where she said she would be. She never failed. And if something intervened, she was sure to call or page. One time she even called a restaurant and had the wait staff seek Margaret in the dining room with the message that she would be 10 minutes late. Margaret paced the hallway a little when her knuckles got tired. Leo was always telling her that she worried too much and she knew it was probably true. Still she couldn't shake this feeling that something was very wrong. 

Finally Margaret pulled a key out of her bag. It was a spare to Donna's apartment. She only used it when Donna was out of town with the President and needed her to water plants. It seemed intrusive to use it any other time. Margaret decided that she would deal with the consequences of invading Donna's privacy. 

The apartment was dark save the early evening sunlight drifting in through the curtains. She called Donna's name and got no answer. She tried again, turning on the lights. She saw the message light flashing crazily on her machine. She knew that quite a few of those messages had to be from her calling Donna from Nordstrom's. Everything looked fine and in its proper place. She was going to check the rest of the apartment when she saw something that made her gasp. There was a hole in the wall near the hallway to Donna's bedroom. Broken plaster was still clinging to the edges. Margaret found herself breathing faster. All of a sudden, it didn't seem so wise to be in Donna's dark apartment by herself. Margaret was going to the phone when she heard a soft noise like a cry coming from Donna's bedroom. Margaret stood petrified unsure of what she should do next. Tears of fear had formed in her eyes and her breathing came in short bursts. She willed herself to move forward. If Donna needed her, it couldn't wait. At the door to Donna's bedroom she pushed softly. In a shaky voice, she announced herself. The shades were drawn and the bedroom dark. She saw a dark form sitting on the bed regarding her quietly. 

"Donna?" She begged for answers. 

"It's me." Came a sob. 

"Are you alone?" Margaret ventured. 

"Yeah." 

Margaret was lost in the dark and Donna was providing no clarity to the situation. Somehow it felt wrong to turn on bright lights so she walked over to the shades and drew them slightly so that hazy rays of light streamed into the room. She could see Donna better now. She was sitting on her bed in a robe with wet hair. Her face was red from crying and she was shaking. Margaret could wait for the details. She climbed onto the bed with Donna and took her into her arms. Donna accepted her embrace gratefully and dissolved into tears again.   
  
***************************************

Margaret set the coffee down in front of Donna who smiled a thanks at her. Margaret then returned to the stove to serve up tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Donna had insisted that she wasn't hungry, but Margaret had gone ahead anyway. It was clear that she had more than a little of her Minnesota grandmother in her as she busied herself in the kitchen and fussed over Donna. Despite her protests, Donna found herself looking forward to eating something. She hadn't had anything since dinner the day before and the tomato soup smelled good to her. 

"What time is it?" she asked. 

"Midnight." 

"My God. I thought I only fell asleep for a little while," Donna said. 

"You were exhausted. I'm glad you got some sleep." 

"Thanks for being here, Margaret. I didn't know what to do. 

"Donna," Margaret was trying to approach this carefully. "Do you think you could tell me what happened?" 

Donna looked down into her soup for a minute. "I'm such a fool, Margaret. In one short night, I completely ruined my life," she mumbled, her eyes still focused on her food. 

"Donna, you're the least foolish person I know. There is no way I can believe that you did anything to cause yourself this much heartache." 

"If you only knew." Donna was shaking head slowly. 

"Well, I want to know. And I'm here. You're not getting rid of me no matter what you do or do not tell me." Margaret reached over and put her hand over Donna's. Donna raised her head for Margaret and smiled at her with moist eyes. 

"My date wasn't so good," she said. 

"I want to know." Margaret persisted. 

"It started out so amazing. I've told you how charming and handsome Tucker is. He went to the best schools and comes from a very prestigious family. And yet, despite all of that, I never questioned that his interest in me was genuine." 

"You shouldn't, Donna. You're a beautiful, bright, and wonderful woman." 

"Well I sort of thought so too. That's why I was so upset when Josh said that Tucker couldn't be after anything but information. He was so right, Margaret." 

"I'm listening." 

"You know we had been out together a few times before. And he had promised me that he would take me out to Le Cirque again which is a very wow place, you know. And he did take me. We had a great time. He was so interested in everything about me. We talked about our dreams in life. It was really great." Donna stopped for a minute and regarded the spoon she had in her hand. Margaret waited patiently for her to return to her story. 

"I invited him back here, Margaret. I wanted him here. I wanted to be with him last night." 

"That sounds perfectly reasonable to me." 

"Well, it wasn't reasonable at all." A sob caught in her throat. 

Donna..." 

"It started just fine. We were talking about our work. We had been doing that all night. He was telling me stories about Senator Sherman and I was telling him about Josh. Nothing bad. We were just talking about how crazy they could be sometimes. You have to admit that Josh certainly gives me a lot of material for a conversation like that." 

"I have had my share of Leo stories to tell." Margaret assured her soothingly. 

"I can't remember the exact moment it happened, but I think it was when he started asking me about the trade bill that Josh and Toby are working on. It became perfectly clear to me that he was fishing. Here I was having a wonderful time with this guy and all of a sudden, I could tell that he was only interested in the damn trade bill. He wanted to know if I was putting together the final draft. He tried to be nonchalant, but I could see the fire in his eyes. So I called him on it." 

"And then what happened?" Margaret needed to know, but at the same time she was afraid of what Donna was going to tell her. 

"He apologized. Said he was tired. Told me that I caught him in a moment of weakness. Then he got tender with me, touching, and kissing. I almost bought it, but there was still something there. So I told him to go." 

"He didn't?" 

"No," she sobbed. "He wouldn't give up. Said I didn't understand and that I was being too critical. He acted like he couldn't leave without getting something out of me. I was yelling at him to leave and starting to go to the phone when he hit the wall with his fist. I have never experienced anything like that before. I was paralyzed. His face was red and so ugly. I didn't want to pass him on my way to the phone and so I ran into my bedroom. 

"Oh Donna..." 

"And he followed," she was crying again. Margaret was stroking her arm and telling her it would be okay. "I don't want to say anymore," she finally said. 

"I understand. But I need to know if he injured you, Donna." 

"He didn't hit me if that's what you want to know. I'm bruised, but I think that's all." Margaret sat with her silently as Donna slowly started to calm again. 

"Donna, have you been to a hospital or the police yet?" 

"No." 

"We should do those things." 

"I don't know, Margaret. It's not that simple. I don't think I can press charges." 

"Of course, you can. You should, Donna. We can't...you can't let him get away with this." Margaret's voice was starting to raise. 

"I invited him here. I was hoping something would happen," Donna shouted back at her. 

"Donna, stop it. You did not ask to be brutalized," Margaret said in a low, deliberate voice. 

"But there's more. Before he left, he went through the work I brought home. He took everything I had on the trade bill. I was going to edit Josh's draft before it went to Toby. He took it. 

"You brought it home with you?" Margaret said in disbelief. 

"I know that I'm not supposed to do that. But I was going to work on it and it was going to be my way of making it up to Josh for the Republican wives." Margaret sat there trying to absorb all of this information. You couldn't take sensitive material home unless you were expressly approved to do so by your boss. To take anything out of the West Wing without this express permission was grounds for immediate termination. 

"He's going to fire me, Margaret." Donna looked at her with sad eyes. 

"He would never do it, Donna," Margaret shook her head slowly. 

"He won't have a choice," she cried. "He can't set one standard for me and another one for everybody else. He'll lose all of his credibility." 

"Donna, we can't just sit here." 

"Well, tonight we can. I am not making another move until I can figure out a way to fix this for me and for him." Donna leaned back in her chair with a heavy sigh. She and Margaret looked at one another as the clock behind them ticked the night away. 

***********************************************  
  
  


Toby looked up from his morning coffee and surveyed the craziness in front of him again. For three days of camping, there were no less than 15 different bags, duffels, and boxes that needed to be loaded into the SUV C.J. had rented. "I thought camping was supposed to be a return to a simpler existence." He thought critically looking over the massive pile of stuff that he would undoubtedly be required to carry to the vehicle. 

"How do you like your new things?" C.J. chirped as she sailed into the living room and threw yet another bag on the pile. 

"Fine," he lied. 

"Now come on, Toby. Tell me what you really think." 

"They're weird. I feel like a human parachute." 

"Toby, these are synthetic fabrics. They are very latest in casual wear this year." 

"So in other words, you are taking me out into a forest wearing state-of-the-art nylon clothing. Why? Nobody's gonna see me except you. Besides I am not a state-of-the-art kind of guy. Why don't we just pack a bunch of cotton t-shirts and a pair of jeans for me?" 

"Are you going to be like this all day?" She looked at him with arms folded. 

"C.J., you have me dressed like I'm going to ride the tour de France this afternoon. I look like a frickin' flame retardant nightmare." 

"You look nice." 

"I do not. These clothes mold all over me like a second skin. What the hell kind of sense does that make? I thought that the whole point of clothing was so that other people didn't have to see what was falling apart on a person. I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to wear those tight, Nike things on my legs. I would like to leave a little more to the imagination." 

"That's fine. We'll just pretend that I didn't spend all day yesterday shopping for you," C.J. said sinisterly. 

"Well now, C.J.. You did get me a nice pair of jeans. I haven't had a pair of these in years. And I have to admit that I am sort of looking forward to wearing them." Toby tried to salvage the conversation. 

"Okay. That's fair. And I did get you those loose fitting Adidas jogging pants?" 

"I suppose I could see myself in those." 

"All right, you pack what you think you can wear. We'll take the rest back next week." 

"Before I do that, I need to check on a situation, okay? It won't take me long." 

"We're going to leave at noon, Toby." 

"You got it, Claudia Jean." Toby waited until she had disappeared back into the bedroom undoubtedly so that she could find things to pull out of the walls and take with them. He picked up the phone and dialed. This was going to be unorthodox, but there was no other way he was going to be able to enjoy the next few days. That look in her eyes on Friday had haunted him all weekend. He wanted to say something to C.J., get her opinion, but he didn't. There was something so intimate about what he had seen in Donna's eyes that he didn't feel comfortable sharing it with anyone. He tried to assure himself that she was fine, but he couldn't shake a feeling of dread. He was not close to Donna. In fact, he couldn't admit to knowing her well at all. Still he needed to know for certain that she was not in some kind of trouble. The phone rang on the other side. 

"Ah, hello, is Bonnie there...Yes, it's me...Yeah, but let me explain before you start with the yelling...No, I am not asking you to come in on your Sunday...I didn't realize that you had your whole family there...I just want to ask a question...Of course, I remember your mother...Yes, you tell her "hi" from me too...No, I really don't have time...Uh, hello, Mrs. Wilson, you sound well...Yes, Bonnie is doing a great job...And yes, I am doing well...Your peach cobbler was wonderful...It's not necessary to send along anything more...Well, I am naturally pale...Yes Ma'am, even for a Caucasian...Perhaps you should adjust the tint on your television screen because I am definitely not green...Ma'am, I am so sorry to disturb your gathering. If I could just speak to Bonnie again...Yes Ma'am, I think that I should get more exercise too...Of course, Ma'am, you are welcome to come by any time you like...You take care too...Bonnie, is that you...Do not pass me off to your Aunt Mildred...No I don't have time...I just need an address...Aunt Mildred, how nice to hear your voice..."   
  
****************************************************************

Margaret woke from her sleep to hear a persistent knocking at the door. She shook her head trying to wake up. From her place on Donna's living room couch, she looked around for a clock in the room. She saw one on the mantel that said 9:00 a.m. She drew in a breath. It had only been a few hours since she had been able to get Donna back to sleep again. The knocking became louder. She pulled herself upright and headed for the door. 

"Who is it?" she called at the door. 

"Donna, is that you?" 

"Answer my question," Margaret said firmly. 

"Donna, I need to talk to you. Your phone is not picking up." 

"It's him." Donna was in the living room behind her. 

"Then we call the police." 

"Maybe we can get the draft back," she said softly. 

"Donna, I think that we shouldn't talk to him." 

"You're here. Nothing will happen. I need to get those papers back." 

Margaret looked at Donna once more before reaching for the door. Tucker Grey pushed his way in once he heard the latch open. 

"Who are you?" he demanded of Margaret. 

"Well, I'm certainly not a fan of yours." Margaret stood glaring at him. 

"Donna, I need to talk to you." He was choosing to ignore Margaret for the time being. 

"What do you want?" 

"Hey, no hard feelings right? Things got a little out of hand for both of us, I would say, wouldn't you? I would be willing to make repairs on your wall. And if you need anything, you just let me know, okay?" 

"I want the papers you stole from me," she hissed. 

"Listen, Donna, I feel bad about that. But you know, it's the nature of this business. You have to be a little aggressive to get ahead in this game." 

"I want those papers," Donna said firmly. 

"It's not going to happen. I am sorry about that. But I am hoping that you and I can still be friends." Margaret gave a strangled cry when she heard this. He gave her a disgusted look. "Does she have to be here?" He pointed at Margaret. 

"I know why you're here. You came to make sure that I wasn't thinking of going to the police." Donna said with complete certainty. 

"Well, there is no reason for you to go to the police. You're a big girl. You knew what was going on. Hell, you invited me up here." Donna just stared at him. The audacity of his presence and his words stunned her. Everything in her world was crumbling and yet he stood there completely oblivious to his starring role in it. Margaret could see the shock in her eyes. 

"You have to go now," she said to the ignorant man. 

"This is between myself and Donna. If there is anyone who's going to leave, I think it's going to be you," he shot at her. Donna took a sharp intake of breath. Her eyes filled with terror. He wasn't going to leave. Margaret did the only thing she could think of in her anger. She grabbed a lamp and came at the large man. It surprised him to have her attack. He was barely able to keep the lamp from crashing down on his head. He deflected it to one side and grabbed her arm, twisting sharply. Margaret screamed and kicked him with her bare foot. Still holding her by the arm, he swung her body around and punched her once. 

"Maybe that will shut you up," he said letting Margaret fall to the ground. He stood up and found Donna in front of him with a large knife in hand. 

"Go." She said in a soft, dangerous voice. He stood there for a minute considering his odds and then turned on his heel and left.   
  
  


**Chapter 3 **

**A Fish Out of Water **

"You have to sit still!" Donna said impatiently to Margaret who sat at the kitchen table with her right elbow supported on a pillow. Donna was trying to fashion a makeshift sling to put over her red, swollen forearm. 

"I want that softball bat right where I can reach it," Margaret growled. Donna had never seen her like this. Margaret had not shed tears over Grey's physical assault yet. At first, she had been a little disoriented from the blow to her face. Then she moved directly to rage. There was such an intensity present in her eyes. Without even looking at Donna, she began digging through closets until she found a softball bat and with it hanging from her good arm, she had begun pacing before the door. Donna had to physically lead her to a chair and sit her down before she could get a good look at her injuries. 

"Owww!" Margaret complained. Donna had transferred her attentions to the puffy bruise growing over her left eye. 

"You need to go a hospital," Donna said distractedly. She didn't know what else to say. This whole situation was becoming more horrific with each passing hour. 

"He might come back," Margaret reasoned. 

"Yeah, so let's not be here," Donna pleaded. 

"I want to beat him with this bat." Margaret said matter-of-factly with a dark look in her eyes. Donna sighed deeply. She just wanted it to stop. She felt like she was on a carnival ride that just kept going faster and faster. She wanted to get off and run away to someplace quiet, where she could concentrate on forgetting everything. 

The knocking began again at her door, the sound slicing through them like a knife. Margaret stood with her bat and stared at the door. With her slung arm, she could only hold the bat with one hand and she began to swing it back and forth. 

"Go away," Donna screamed at the door. 

"I need to talk to you, Donna," returned the door. 

"No. I am calling the police," she yelled. Donna was shaking. Her breath was coming in ragged bursts. 

"Let him in," Margaret said firmly. Terror was competing with the rage in her. Yet she stood her ground. "Donna, I am going to make him pay. I promise you that." 

"Go away, Tucker. I will file charges. I swear to God, I will," she screamed. 

There was silence for a moment. Then they heard a measured tone. "Donna, it's Toby Ziegler. Please open the door. I'm not leaving until I see that you are okay." 

Relief flooded through her and her body sagged against the wall. Margaret looked at her, but didn't wait for an answer. She tucked the bat through her sling and went to let him in. Toby walked in with slowly. No one said anything at all. He looked around the room, taking note of the hole in the wall and the lamp lying in pieces across the room. Donna was shaking, her eyes wide and wet. The left side of Margaret's face was swollen and she returned his gaze with a mixture of fear and defiance, a bat hanging from the sling on her arm. It was hard for him to reconcile these images with the women he knew from the West Wing. The silence continued. Donna appeared to be gripping the wall for support. Toby approached her slowly and held out a hand. She didn't look at him, but she slowly extended her arm and allowed him to lead her to the couch. He gestured to Margaret, but she didn't move. 

"Who did this to you?" he asked incredulously sitting next to Donna. She shook her head very softly refusing to meet his eyes. 

"It keeps getting worse," she ventured finally. Toby recognized the look on her face as being similar to the one he had seen on her face Friday night. In that instant, he realized that she was in shock. It was eerily reminiscent of the faces he remembered the day of the bombing three months ago. Toby shook his head disgustedly for not recognizing it on Friday. "People keep getting hurt," she said after a moment. 

"Donna, I want to help. I need to know what happened. Please." Toby advanced gently. 

"Tell him, Donna," Margaret said fervently. 

"I don't know how to stop it all. Do you see what he did to Margaret? Right in front of me, Toby, and I couldn't seem to do anything." Donna was overwhelmed. Toby let out a deep breath. He could see that this needed to be approached carefully. He didn't want to push either of them any farther than they had been pushed already. "I'm no good at this. Please God, I am the last thing these two women need." He prayed for guidance. 

"Donna, if you're not going to tell him, then I will." Toby could see that fear was beginning to take over in Margaret's eyes. "Tell him everything, Donna. You and I can't think our way out of a paper bag right now. Toby's a smart man. He can help us." 

"I'm afraid that I am going to lose everything," she said to Toby with haunted eyes. 

"I promise not to add anything more to your burden." Toby said carefully. Promises were hard for him. His father had always taught him that promises were very serious pacts to make. If he said it, he would have to follow through and so he rarely offered them. Having committed himself, he hoped that he would have the sensitivity and wisdom to be helpful to them. Donna seemed to sense this commitment. She relaxed a little into the couch. Margaret gave a sigh of relief. Toby turned to her as she stood vigilantly near the door. 

"Margaret, come sit down, please," Toby beckoned her. Margaret warily sat in the chair across from them, still keeping an eye on the apartment door. Toby wanted to ask for the bat, but he wasn't sure that she was ready to give it up. 

Donna took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Do you remember the fight that Josh and I had on Friday? Well it was about a date I was going on..."   
  
**********************************************

He listened carefully to her story. Patiently, he waited when she had to stop and remember the sequence of things. Margaret jumped in repeatedly to add her perspective on the weekend's events. When Donna got to the part about the stolen papers, she couldn't look him in the eye. Finally, she came to where Toby entered the story. Then she dropped her head as one might do as they awaited their sentencing. Toby's patience masked a fury growing inside him. The idea that either of these strong and good women should be assaulted was eating a hole in him. The outrage of what Donna had gone through in two short days made it difficult for him to speak calmly. He wanted to yell, throw things, and rage on their behalf. But he could sense that neither woman had the stomach for further aggression. So he sat quietly when she was finished and tried to focus himself around solutions. Finally he could hold himself no longer. 

"Do I understand correctly that you haven't been to either a hospital or to the police?" 

She nodded at him. 

"Why?" His tone was one of incredulity. 

"Did you hear anything I said?" Her voice was rising. "Toby, I invited him up to my apartment at midnight after an expensive date. I was hoping something might happen. He hit my wall but he didn't hit me. It's his word against mine!" 

"But Donna..." 

"And do you forget that he has Josh's draft of our trade strategy, a draft that was in my apartment because of my blatant disregard of White House policy. Do you realize that Tucker Grey comes from a family so rich that their net worth equals the GNP of Denmark?" 

Margaret sat silently through this diatribe watching Donna intently. Toby wanted to jump in and argue with her, matching her energy, but he took his cue from Margaret. 

"Don't you see what I've done? I was so cocky. I was going to show Josh that I 

was more than just a source to this privileged Republican. I actually thought this man liked me. Do you believe that?" Donna's voice was filled with self-loathing. "He was just trying to help and I ignored him. I let a man up into my apartment 'cause I knew better than anyone else. And then I let him steal sensitive material. Look at Margaret, for Christ's sakes. She was trying to protect me, but I knew better. "Maybe we can get the papers back." I told her. Now look at her. Look at the mess that I have made." 

Donna voice was racked with sobs. Toby was stunned by her raw emotion. He could see her dignity and self-worth lying before her in ruins. He and Margaret could do nothing but sit in silence, listening to her pain. Toby wanted Margaret to comfort her. She would know better than he how to do this. But he could see that Margaret was facing her own demons this day. He hesitantly put his arm around Donna and pulled her to him. She buried her face in his shirt and wept. He held her for a long time, letting her cry herself out, wondering if anything could be done to help make this right.   
  
*******************************************************

"So I still have no takers on the police idea, is that correct?" It was some time later and Toby was trying to formulate a plan. Despite her injuries, Margaret had begun channeling her grandmother once again. She was making coffee and had located another can of tomato soup. 

"No Toby," Donna said firmly. 

"Could we possibly discuss the reasons for that again?" 

"Toby, are you a woman?" 

"That was rhetorical, right?" he asked warily. 

"I am not bringing this story into a police station right now. Toby, can you imagine what they would say to me?" 

"I'd rather not." 

She gave him a look of frustration. 

"Okay, let's try the hospital idea again. I thought we were making some headway on that one earlier," said Toby patiently. 

"I've showered like 16 times already. They won't find any evidence of anything," she insisted. 

"Well, if I understand this correctly, they would be able to do some preventative things as well as treat any...internal injuries you might have." Toby couldn't keep the discomfort out of his voice. Donna sat silently in the face of this information. Toby knew an opening when he saw one. "Besides, Margaret's arm is pretty swollen and they should probably x-ray her face." 

Donna finally nodded her assent. Toby resisted the urge to give a victory yell. 

"We can just have Josh, C.J., and Leo meet us there," he added for good measure. Margaret stopped short at this suggestion. A hissing sound from the burner alerted her to the fact that she was absently pouring the soup directly onto the burner rather than in the nearby saucepan. Donna's eyes got wide at Toby's idea. 

"No, Toby. I can't see Josh right now. I don't want to see anybody." She was shaking her head at the enormity of the thought. 

"Oh." Toby was anxious. These guys were the cavalry. They were going to come in and make sure that he didn't screw up any of this "being sensitive" business. 

"Toby, I can't face him. What will he say? What will he think? He'll be so disappointed. I just don't think I can bear it right now," Donna said apprehensively. 

"Okay." Toby knew of no other thing he could say to that. There was silence again for a moment. Margaret was busy mopping up soup off the stove. 

"Don't you think they'll eventually find out what's going on? Margaret, for instance, is a dead giveaway with that face. Do you really think Leo will let that sleeping dog lie?" Toby finally asked desperately, hoping that logic might play a role. Donna, however, did not have that luxury. She slammed her hand down on the table and walked out of the kitchen. 

"I'm no good at this," Toby said miserably to the table. 

"She's pretty scared," Margaret said hobbling over to him. Toby noticed this new affectation of hers. 

"Margaret, did you get hurt somewhere else?" Toby asked. 

"I kicked him pretty hard with my foot. I guess I didn't think about it until a few minutes ago. It is pretty swollen. I think I might have broken a few toes." Margaret lifted her purple foot into the air. Toby winced emphatically. 

"This is insane." His arms went up into the air. "We sit here while you balloon up in every direction and Donna goes without a rape kit. What's next? Are you going to open another can of soup, Margaret?" From the hurt look in her eyes, he could see that his outburst wasn't helping. He stood and helped her into a chair. 

"I'm sorry, Margaret," he said gently. 

"Toby, you have to understand something. Donna thinks her life is in pieces. She doesn't think she has any control, no power. Do you understand?" 

"I remember feeling pretty powerless not so long ago," he said nodding his head. 

"We need to give her space. She needs to make the choices. She's still pretty overwhelmed, you know?" 

"But I am thinking about C.J. and Leo, for instance. They're going to have our heads if we don't say something." 

" I know. I thought about that. I could call in sick, but you know how he is about that. He'll be at my door with a specialist by noon." Toby smiled a little at this. He suspected that it was just as much about Margaret unwillingness to take a sick day. 

"Do you think you can handle him?" 

"I won't lie, but I won't tell him either. We'll have to see. And C.J.?" 

"Oh God! What time is it?" Toby panicked. 

"3 p.m." 

"Well my life ended about three hours ago. I would imagine C.J. has arranged a special place in Hell for me by now." 

"I'm sorry, Toby. I'm sure that Donna will let you tell C.J. considering the circumstances." 

"She'll let me tell to make things easier for me, but not because she wants C.J. to know right now." 

"That's about it, Toby," Margaret agreed. 

"Then I guess I'm not telling C.J. anything right now. Here's hoping that she believes that I really would have gone camping with her." Toby said despondently. Margaret sat quietly for a moment until she could gather up the courage for her next question. 

"The stolen papers, Toby, what you are going to do?" 

"I don't know right now. That brief represents strategy. There are no State secrets in there. But it screws us for the vote this Friday." Toby shook his head and searched for more words. Finally he gave up. "I don't know, Margaret. I have to think some more." 

"But you won't do anything without telling her first, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"Tell her that. She won't have to worry that everything will happen without her knowledge. It'll help." 

"Margaret, you sure know about being helpful. Do you have a little personal experience with a situation like this?" Toby looked at her curiously. 

"Something like that, Toby," she answered cryptically. She stood up carefully. Her foot was fully inflamed at this point. "Let me go get her. It's time for us to go to a hospital." 

"Are you sure you can go to work tomorrow?" Toby asked. 

She turned to him, balancing herself on the kitchen counter and smiled wearily. "You know how we are. Leo and I maintain a very delicate eco-system. Anything out of balance, and both of us are a mess. He really will find out what's wrong with me if I don't come in. It's better if I'm present. He won't be happy, but at least he'll have me where he can see me." She left him shaking his head over the symbiosis that could exist between two people. 

Thinking about his own interdependence with another person, Toby picked up the phone and dialed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and hoped for the best.   
  
  


**Chapter 4 **

**Burdens **

It surprised Donna how normal everything seemed at the office. No one looked at her funny or commented on anything different about her. No one seemed to notice that her life was changed forever. They all greeted her in the same way they always did. They just went about their usual routine. Donna thought about this as she walked down the hallway toward to Josh's office. Donna wanted to feel normal as they did. She wished for a return to the ordinary life she had so taken for granted. She would do anything to escape the bizarre nightmare she was currently living. 

She had been preparing all night for the moment when Josh came in to the office. She wanted to apologize for their fight. She needed that tension to be gone. She knew she couldn't bear to have that on top of the other burdens she now carried. She really needed him right now. But she had no idea how to make him understand that. As she entered the bullpen, she tried rehearsing a cheerful greeting for him. As always she got there first. Usually this was her time to lounge a little and talk about her weekend. This Monday morning, she was all business. This was her chance to make the week start out well. She grabbed the day's schedule and went to his office. She would have everything ready for him when he came in. 

"How is my contrary Donnatella today?" came the greeting from behind the desk. She jumped. Josh turned his chair so that she could see him fully. She felt panic rising in her. There were no welcome surprises in life right now, and having Josh be at his desk before expected was definitely in that category. 

"God, you scared me," she said trying not to break out in a sob. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out." Josh looked a little puzzled. "I got here early to do some work and to think about some things." 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought with you on Friday." The words came tumbling out of her unnaturally. 

"Yeah, well neither of us behaved so well. I can understand why you weren't happy about not having a date with Grey. But I got to tell you that from what little I know of him, you are not missing out. Anyway, it's a new week, right? We can start over." He smiled warmly at her. 

Donna looked away for a moment. She couldn't feel his warmth right now. Just standing here not talking about what had happened felt like a lie. She gave him as much smile as she could muster. "Yeah, let's start over," she agreed unable to meet his eyes. 

"I came in early to work on the trade bill strategy, but I can't seem to find the disc. Do you know where I might have put it?" His eyes betrayed no sign of suspicion. 

"I don't know." Donna said looking down at the floor. She was at a point of breaking. Josh deserved better than to have her stand there and lie to his face. 

"I must have taken it home or something. I have it on the hard drive." He said. "But you know how I get paranoid sometimes when I can't find a thing." He noted the anxious look on her face. 

"Hey, don't worry about it, okay? It didn't go far. Just keep your eyes open, all right?" She could only manage a nod. Then she turned and fled his office. Josh's bewilderment grew.   
  
*******************************************************

Margaret sat on a chair in Leo's office while he paced before her. She had been sitting there for just a few minutes, but it seemed like hours. She had tried to think of a way to soften the surprise of him finding her Monday morning with a splinted arm, crutches, and a purple eye. In the end, there was no good way to get it done. Thus she sat there in the Chief of Staff's office while he tried to fathom her current circumstances. 

"It was your car, wasn't it? You just don't want to say so because I've been telling you that it's no better than a tin can for the last two years. You don't want to have to admit that I was right all along." She sighed. It would be so easy for her to just agree with him and be done with it. But then it would sit between them forever and she couldn't live with that. 

"I already told you that it wasn't my car, Leo," she said patiently. 

"I don't understand this, Margaret. I don't understand this at all." Leo was shaking his head wearily. And it's only Monday, she thought. 

"Leo, I'm okay. Something happened. It's over and I can't tell you about it right now." 

"Well I don't like that answer," he retorted. 

"Leo, you have to trust me on this. I know what I am doing. I promised a friend. And I know you understand the importance of one's loyalty to a friend," she said gently. 

"Margaret, if it is not an auto accident, I do not care for the scenarios left to my imagination. I have to wonder if someone hasn't hurt you. You are all banged like a... prizefighter and not giving me a straight answer. You have to know that I am not at all happy about this." Leo was giving her very stern looks amidst his pacing. 

"Leo, I understand your concern. And it is my fervent hope that I will be able to tell you all about this very soon. In fact, I'm certain of it. I just need you to be a little patient with me." She was playing him carefully. 

"I do not know what you are up to, Mary Margaret, but I don't like it," he concluded. 

"Thanks for being patient, Leo. There really is nothing for you to worry about here." Leo's expression did not relax at her assurances. 

"Well, I can't have you hobbling after me all day looking like this. I already scare people. They'll think I had something to do with your condition." He said with irritation. 

"Calm down, Leo. We can tell everyone else that I was in a car accident. You are the only one I couldn't lie to. I don't care what we tell anyone else." Margaret matched his irritation. Leo softened considerably after hearing her words. 

"You're going to need help." 

"I called personnel. They are sending up a rabbit to assist me." 

"You said it, Margaret. I didn't. I don't want any manner of harassment problems, you know." 

"Leo, you are one of a kind, you know that." 

"Margaret, you are okay, right?" 

"No, Leo, right now I'm not. But don't worry about it. It's going to get better and I know that soon I'm going to be just fine." She looked him in the eye. He returned her stare searching her face for clues. 

"Margaret, you do know that you can drive a person straight to the mental health floor of a hospital. You are aware of this ability you have?" he said shaking his head. Margaret gave him a smile. Despite everything, he was going to try.   
  
***********************************************************

Toby was trying his best contrite expression in this moment. It was an expression with which he had little practice. But desperate measures were called for and he was attempting to rise to the occasion. C.J. sat across from him with a frown deep enough to crack granite. He was praying that he would find a way to erase it from her face. 

"I never thought you would be passive about something. This is new information for me. The idea that you would make something up in order to avoid going is a surprise." She lectured. 

"I'm not making anything up, C.J.. I really was helping someone out and it was important. And I still might be needed. So I have to be here right now," he explained patiently. 

"And you can't tell me what is going on just yet." 

"Yeah," he replied miserably. 

"So let me put this craziness together. This is not some sensitive matter you are handling for the President or Leo?" 

"Correct." 

"You do not have any unique skills that this person couldn't get somewhere else?" 

"Correct," he admitted weakly. 

"And you are not particularly close to this person? 

"Correct." He realized that it sounded much better this morning when he was rehearsing in the shower. 

"You bring me this sad collection of circumstances as your explanation and you want me to be patient and to trust you? Am I correct on this as well?" She said making fun of his clipped responses. She could see that he was rubbing a red mark into his forehead. 

"Yeah." He could tell that there wasn't going to be any frown erasure happening this morning. 

"Toby, I am not impressed. In fact, I feel disappointed. If you can't tell me something, at least it should make sense that you can't tell me." 

"I made a promise," he said in his defense. 

"Well, I sorta assumed you were making a promise to me too," she said. There was silence for a minute. Then she stood up and left. Toby dropped his head wearily. "God, why do these things always happen to me?" he whispered to himself. He would have taken more time to mope, but there was another woman in the building who was counting on him as well. So he dug out what he had on the trade bill and tried to concentrate.   
  
****************************************************

Sam headed toward the Roosevelt room loaded down with a large armful of files. He was feeling irritated with Josh for making him go on some tour for a bunch of teen-age girls. He knew that they could not possibly have anything substantive to add to a conversation on violence. And whatever they would add would be tinged with the melodrama of the average adolescent female. 

He was irritated, but he wasn't going to let this ruin his day. He had a plan. If the meeting lasted for more than fifteen minutes, he was going to pick up his stacks of files, apologize, and explain that the President needed to consult with him about his speech to the upcoming League of Women Voter's luncheon. It was foolproof because the President did indeed want to talk with him at some point in the day. And if Josh got bent out of shape over it, then so be it. 

Down the hallway, he could see Josh talking with an African American woman in front of the Roosevelt Room. They were talking animatedly about something and didn't notice him approaching. 

"Josh, you are the most amazing con. The idea that a president of the United States seeks your counsel absolutely terrifies me," was all he caught before they realized he was standing in front of them. 

"Sam Seaborne, it is my pleasure to introduce to you an old friend, Ms. Freida Williams." Josh said gallantly. 

"Hello, Ms. Williams." Sam was struggling to extend a hand and balance his stack of files simultaneously. 

"Hello. You can call me Freida, Sam," she said extending her hand. Sam's paper mountain began to slide and so instead of a handshake, Freida found herself with an armful of both Sam and his files as he attempted to right himself again. 

"Sam, what are you doing? We have an astonishing array of both carts and humans whose sole purpose it is to carry large amounts of paper around the White House," Josh said. 

"Well, you see, I have to consult with the President this morning regarding an important speech he is giving in a few days. There is a chance that I may have to exit this meeting a little early," Sam said unwisely playing his trump card at the start of the hand. 

"Oh really. You would be "consulting" with him this morning, huh? Well it sounds very important. And we shouldn't keep you if you have to "consult" with the President." Josh was laying it on as thick as molasses. 

"Yeah, so I am only going to be able to stay for a few minutes, Ms...Freida." Sam continued warily. Freida Williams wore an amused look. 

"Sam, the President is having an MRI done on his back this morning at Bethesda. How will this consultation occur? Will you be going into the actual treatment room or have they set you up with some sort of interactive video where you talk to the President while he lies naked and sedated on the treatment table?" asked Josh sarcastically. Then he turned to Freida. "Sam has quite a close relationship with the President. He is often called to consult with him at times when the President is tranquilized or otherwise indisposed." Sam felt his face turning red as Freida Williams displayed a bright smile. 

"So you think my girls will be a waste of your time, Sam?" she asked him not unkindly. 

"I have no idea what your girls can offer. It's just that my "friend", Josh, here is trying to prove some kind of point and, frankly, I am not in the mood." He responded honestly. 

"Fair enough." She said in return. "You should stay only as long as they hold your interest." 

"Okay, but what are we talking about with them?" Sam inquired. 

"They are part of a group of young women called Young Sisters with Voice." 

"And they just published a book," Josh added. 

"And they are teen-agers?" Sam was surprised. 

"Yes, the youngest is thirteen and the oldest is eighteen," said Freida. 

"What's the book about?" Sam's curiosity was getting the better of him. 

"The book is their stories of violence as well as their survival and the triumph of their spirits," Freida told him proudly. 

"I don't understand. You said that they were adolescents." 

"They are adolescents. What part don't you understand?" 

"Violence and the triumph of the human spirit would hardly seem to be the stuff of teen-agers." 

"Well, you might be surprised, Sam," Freida smiled at him patiently. 

"Have a good time my young friend," Josh said with a gleam in his eye. 

"You're not coming in, either of you?" Sam said incredulously. 

"Oh no, Sam, Freida and I have some catching up to do. We were scholars together and Freida is still under the misguided perception that she has the superior intellect. It's imperative that I set her straight over some crab cakes down at Lucy's." 

"You're kidding, right?" Sam looked like a man without a life preserver. 

"You'll be fine. These young women know exactly what they want to tell you. You'll have a nice time, Sam," She said sweetly. Then she linked arms with her old friend and they left, the sound of laughter echoing in their wake. 

Sam regarded the door in front of him for a few minutes and then he took a deep breath and entered. 

"It's about time. What was keeping you there, big guy?" loudly announced a girl wearing a big name tag that said Janice. 

"Oooh...eye candy. They didn't tell us that we were getting sweets today," cooed another. 

"Heather, stop it. You remember what Freida said about the objectification of women," said a girl with a tag that said Latasha. 

"Okay, the key word there is women, Tash. He is definitely not a female." 

"But we are no better if we talk just like they do when they're drooling over a female" jumped in a girl whose tag said Pi-ying. 

"Let's ask him. Hey dude, what do you think about the objectification of women? And do you think a woman can objectify a man in a way that is similarly oppressive?" inquired a girl with the astonishing name of Serenity. 

Sam was stymied as he stood before this large group of young women who were looking expectantly up at him for his response. 

"We're freaking him out," concluded Janice. The rest of them nodded in agreement. Pi-ying grabbed his sleeve and motioned for him to sit down. Sam followed these directions. Then they all gathered around him and began to talk.   
  
  


**Chapter 5 **

**Compromises**** **

It is amazing how simple it was to get into the White House these days, he thought as he walked down the hallways toward the West Wing. All he had to do was to latch onto to a legislative group and then wander away from them. He wore the ID of that group and if anyone stopped him, he could tell them that he was accidentally separated from the others. 

He understood that it was a bold move showing up at her place of work, but he felt he had no choice. He had slept poorly since Friday night and as a result, he was not feeling his best for the week ahead. This plus the unfortunate events of yesterday morning had further strengthened his sense of urgency about getting this situation resolved. He had returned to her apartment twice last night to talk with her, but both times she was absent. 

So now he would simply locate her and convince her to give him a few minutes of her time. He had no doubt that if he could get her alone in a room, he could convince her of whatever was necessary to finish this silly misunderstanding.   
  
  


It was really a fluke that Margaret saw anything at all. Usually when she was in a meeting with Leo, she was all focus. Today, she was dealing with throbbing pain coming from her face, arm, and foot. She was now beginning to understand that the pain medication prescribed to her last night was not necessarily part of a concerted pharmaceutical company plot to bilk Americans out of their hard earned dollars. Luckily, she had her rabbit available to take all of the pesky notes that Leo would need. So she sat there on one side of Leo determined to catch anything missed by the unfortunate young woman who was sitting on his other side. She was trying to follow the reasoning of Senator Billingham when she spotted him walking by the meeting room. Involuntarily, she gave a gasp. She shook her head slightly oblivious to the stares from the persons around her. It was unfathomable to her that he could actually be in the West Wing. You're having a hallucination, she tried to convince herself. It didn't work. She struggled to her feet and grabbed her crutches. Leo looked at her quizzically. She made motions to him that suggested that she was going to take some pain medication. He nodded at her, but she didn't notice. She was too busy trying to get out the door and down the hall. 

Pushing herself and only half using her crutches, she tried to catch up with him. Up ahead, she could see him stop and talk to a woman. The woman then pointed in the direction of Josh's bullpen and he strode off. Margaret tried to collect herself and think. She was certainly in no condition to attack him again and she never imagined that she would need the baseball bat at work. She looked around for help and saw Ginger walking into the communications area. She saw her solution. Now only dragging her bothersome crutches, she took off after in that direction. 

Toby was sitting in his office trying to figure out how to make everything as it was. Toward that goal, he had been putting his staff through vigorous research efforts on the trade bill. He had scowled at Bonnie when she had mentioned plans for lunch and so she was now communicating to him in single syllables only. Plus he was continually harassing Ginger about the Library of Congress documents he needed, forcing her to threaten the unfortunate LOC staff. This left her so angry that she was unwilling to do anything but drop documents in his general area when she brought them into his office. The communications area was not a happy go lucky place to be on this very unique Monday. 

Margaret hurried herself through the communications area, pulling herself along by desks, having abandoned her crutches at the door. Without warning, she barreled through his door. Toby jumped back in surprise at the woman who was now lying in a heap on his floor. Ginger and Bonnie were at the doorway with their eyes wide at the sight. Breathing heavily, she looked up at Toby who knelt beside her. 

"I saw him. He's here. He's looking for Donna," she blurted out in between gasps for air. Toby's mouth dropped at the audacity of such an idea. He got up and headed out the door. He stopped for a second to regard his two assistants who were still stunned by the scene unfolding in front of them. 

"Help her." He gestured to them. Then he turned and ran out the door.   
  
*****************************************************************

At the communications area, he slowed to a stop. He could see it was empty save one young woman seated at a desk. 

"Donna!" he said trying to get his breath. 

Startled, the young woman looked up. "I'm Karen, not Donna, Mr. Ziegler." 

"I'm looking for Donna," he impatiently clarified. 

"She's in Josh's office." 

"Alone?" 

"No, a guy is here to see her." The young woman wore a look of puzzlement. 

Toby went straight to Josh's door and entered without knocking. Donna was standing with her back to Josh's window while the notorious Tucker Grey was casually seated. They both looked startled at his entrance. Quick to recover, Grey got up and offered Toby his hand. 

"It's a pleasure to meet the great Toby Ziegler," he said smoothly. Toby ignored his hand and looked over at Donna. She looked frightened but in control. 

"I don't suppose that it's all that appropriate to come and see a friend during work hours. I hope that you'll forgive this intrusion," he tried again using all of his handsome features in an effort to impress someone this close to the president. 

"Shut up, you idiot," shot an angry Toby. 

"He knows, Tucker. I told him." 

"Donna, this is something that you and I can handle. What would you need any extra muscle for?" He was trying to look hurt, but only succeeded in looking tense. 

"I'm extra muscle, huh? And I'm not necessary because.... What? You don't plan on raping or beating any more of the West Wing staff? Is that why Donna wouldn't need extra muscle?" Toby's voice dripped with angry sarcasm. 

"Sir, I assure you that there are two sides to this story. Donna and I had a misunderstanding and she is a little angry with me because I don't see a future in this relationship as she does. Surely, you have had to deal with situations similar to this yourself?" Grey was trying to appeal to what he assumed Toby would understand as another man. 

"Don't reason with me, you fool." Toby said disgustedly. 

"Toby!" Donna got his attention. "Let's find out what Tucker wants." 

"I'm all ears." 

"I would prefer to speak with Donna alone." 

"Fat chance, you piece of trash." 

"Tucker, I am not willing to meet with you alone. Toby stays," she said firmly. Tucker looked at the ceiling for a moment and then turned to Toby. 

"I will not be treated like shit by you. I'll have you know that I come from a very important family," Grey shot in Toby's direction. 

Toby laughed at the spoiled rich kid. "Kiss my ass, Grey. I know all about your family. I grew up in Brooklyn about five blocks from one of your uncle's warehouses. I used to throw rocks through the windows 'cause your uncle was such a jerk to people in the neighborhood. Never got caught. I treat you any damn way I please, you piece of crap." 

"I'm going." Tucker was up and out of his chair. 

"Wait!" Donna pleaded. 

"Don't beg him, Donna. He's not going anywhere. Look at him. He keeps showing up to see you. Says that he wants to know how you're doing when the truth is that he doesn't give a rat's ass. He's not here because he's concerned. He's here because he's a scared little man. Isn't that right, Grey?" Toby was talking to Grey's back as he stood at the door. 

"She's making accusations that could be problematic for me. I'm not worried about legal consequences. I know I got that covered. But this talk needs to stop. I have a reputation, you know," he said slowly, his face getting red with rage. Toby and Donna looked at one another. The idea that he imagined that they could relate to this ignorant explanation amazed them both. 

"She's going to talk to anybody she wants, Grey, and I am going to help her." Toby responded. 

"You two think that I am just a aide to a senator. And you are so sadly mistaken. I am heir to one of the largest fortunes in the world. And I will use all of that and more to bury both of you." Toby listened to his speech carefully. He knew that stupid and mean together were a dangerous combination. It was clear to him that this fool was capable of anything. 

"Well, we've heard your threats. Anything else, before we have your ass thrown out of here?" Toby was nonchalant. 

"Donna, I want to avoid any gossip from you and from that crazy red-haired bitch that you had at your apartment yesterday. I'd like to make a deal." He was looking at her in an effort to avoid Toby's glare. Toby was gripping his chair with both hands. He wanted nothing more than to have one minute at this man's throat and damn the consequences. 

"What is your deal?" Donna struggled to return a steady look. 

"You and the bit..." 

"You say that word again and I'll kill you with my bare hands." Toby hissed at him menacingly. The intensity of his face seemed to fluster Grey. He forgot what he was saying for a moment, but then gathered himself and began again. 

"The two of you sign an affidavit agreeing that nothing happened and I return the disc to you. There will be no trade bill crisis. And I imagine that you will be able to keep your job." 

"You've made copies of the disc by now. I'm sure of it." Donna returned. 

"No, I haven't. I needed some insurance and so I held onto it. Sherman doesn't even know it exists." 

"I certainly don't trust you." 

"You don't have to. I will have my lawyers draw up an affidavit that gives you free rein to pursue this absurd accusation if Sherman displays any knowledge of your strategy at Friday's vote. Clearly, it's a win-win situation for you. You keep your job and the trust of your boss. Plus you can stick it to me if your boss's strategy is revealed before the vote." 

"Win-win, my ass." Mumbled Toby. 

"I want to see the affidavits before I even think about signing," said Donna. 

"You don't have much time, Donnatella." She winced at his use of her given name. 

"She'll take all the damn time she wants," growled Toby. 

"I call you tomorrow," he said. 

"You do that, and I'll have the CIA murder you," Toby said darkly. "She'll call you when she's good and ready. In fact, if you attempt any sort of contact, I will have you in handcuffs within the hour." 

"This is the right thing to do, Donna." Grey's eyes were pleading with her. She felt disgust at his statement. She turned her back to him and looked out the window. Toby kept his murderous glare on what he considered to be a poor excuse for a man. Grey stood in the silence for a minute and then turned on his heel and left. Toby immediately went to the phone and notified the Secret Service that an unauthorized person was wandering the West Wing and needed to be ejected. He gave them a description of Grey and then hung up. 

"I've never heard you talk like that before," said Donna still looking out the window. 

"Well, Donna, I did grow up on the streets of Brooklyn. Did you somehow imagine that I spent my formative years attending teas and debutante balls?" 

Donna giggled despite her pain at the thought of Toby at a tea party. Toby smiled in response. The outrage of what she was facing overwhelmed him and he was hopeful about her brief moments of normalcy. 

"Donna, seriously, he is not offering any kind of a good deal. None of it is worth a damn. I wouldn't even waste my time thinking about it," he said sincerely. 

"It's a way to salvage the trade bill. I will be responsible if that bill doesn't pass. I can't carry the burden of that," she said to him softly. 

"Donna, promise me that you don't anything before talking to me. You have to understand that I am working on a solution. You have to give me time to do that." 

"I won't do anything today. And I will talk to you before I decide to do anything." 

"Fair enough," he said. "Donna, are you okay? Do you want to go home?" He winced when he realized that this was clearly not an option for her. "I could take you to Margaret's." 

"It's okay, Toby. This place offers a much needed distraction. Thank you anyway." She smiled at him. 

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Josh was standing at the doorway. "I think I saw your old boyfriend getting dragged down the hallway. He wasn't here to see you, was he?" Donna frantically tried to compose herself for Josh. 

"Do you have to sneak up on people?" asked an irritated Toby. 

"Listen, it's hardly sneaking if I'm coming into my own office," he defended. 

"Yeah, well you still shouldn't prance around like an idiot," added Toby, making no sense at all. Josh chose to ignore him. He knew all about Toby in a foul mood. Ignoring him was the best thing when a person had other things to do. 

"Any luck finding my disc?" he asked Donna. Inexplicably, she turned away from him and stared out the window. 

"Why don't you leave her alone?" Toby suggested. "Look for your own damn disc." 

"Are you hanging around for any discernible reason, Toby?" shot Josh. 

"Donna, I'm around all day if you get any more information on that project I am working on." Toby said to her back. She nodded from the window. 

"What project? And why the hell is Donna helping you? You got a whole bunch of people working for you. Leave my people alone." Josh was tired of feeling left out in his own office. Ignoring Josh, Toby looked at Donna one more time and left. 

"What the hell was that? What are you doing for Toby?" 

"Josh, I didn't have time for lunch," she mumbled. "I would like to take a late one. I don't feel like working straight through today." 

"Yeah, okay, but you didn't answer my questions." 

"I gotta go. We'll talk when I get back." 

"I'm going to be on the hill all day. I won't see you again." Josh said. There was definitely something going on and he wanted in on it. 

"I'm sure I'll see you later," she said as she brushed past him. Before he could protest further, she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Josh stood watching her retreating back. "Whatever is going on, Donnatella, I'll find out," he promised himself and to her.   
  
****************************************************************

Jed Bartlet was lying flat on his bed staring at the ceiling. He was supposed to stay this way for another two days. Nazis couldn't of dreamed up a better torture for him. Abbey was finishing up a visit in Luxembourg and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Zoeyy was taking a summer course in Russia that was driving Ron Butterfield out of his mind. He was in contact with his people constantly trying to determine which tourist sites were the least hazardous. Only Charlie was around. Jed had hesitated to call him in for company. He had been doing that for the last six days and Charlie had begun to adopt a rather vacuous demeanor during their discussions. He figured the kid needed a rest from trivia marathons and other fun games. So he was waiting for his next victim, choosing to pull this one from his mid-day duties. Just when he was ready to scream from the boredom, Charlie stepped in and announced Leo. 

"Hello Mr. President," Leo said tightly. "How was your MRI? I talked to the doctor and he said that you are confined to your bed for a few days. I think the rest would do you some good. What can I do for you on this busy afternoon?" 

"Hi Leo. Sit down and wipe that sour look off your face. I just want to hang out for a moment or two," Jed replied cheerfully. 

"Sir, I have four members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff sitting in my office waiting on me." 

"Do they serve at the pleasure of the President?" 

"Yes sir, I believe that they do." 

"Okay, then let them wait. Call Margaret on my phone. Have her send in a deck of cards and a chip caddy. That'll keep them busy," said the President solving the crisis at hand. Leo winced at the mention of Margaret. He hadn't been able to concentrate well all day on account of her condition. 

"I think that they will be just fine for a little while." Leo concluded before the President could grab the phone. 

"So how's your day been?" the President began. 

Leo considered his answer carefully. If he said too much, he would be sitting by the President's bed for the rest of the day. He wished it were time for the President to have another sedative. "Well, you might say that day has been challenging," he said carefully trying to soften his true thoughts about this sorry, manufactured in hell kind of day. 

"I hear that C.J. is around. I thought she and Toby went camping?" 

"I don't know what the hell is going on there. She's walking around about as pleasant as a wet badger. Says that Toby is going to pay for this or some such sinister talk." 

"Whoa. Well I'd hate to be Toby right now," said Jed fully involved in the gossip. "How is everyone else?" 

"Well, get a load of this, Jed. Josh comes to me a couple of hours ago and says he can't go to the hill. The trade bill is four days away and, all of a sudden, he can't go to the hill." 

"Well that doesn't sound like Josh. He loves to be up there harassing various individuals." 

"I know, but he says the Donna seems out of sorts and he wants to talk to her. What's wrong with these kids, Jed? Do they think we're running some kind of summer camp here? Well as you can imagine, I sent him on his merry way and told him not to come back until he had all of the votes sewn up." 

Jed shook his head sympathetically for Leo. 

"And then there's Sam. Josh put him in some sort of tour around 10 this morning. As far as I can tell, he's still in there. Came out long enough to order lunch for the room and tell Cathy to reschedule his afternoon. Well you know that's easier said than done. I had the environmental lobby crawling all over the place demanding to be seen and no one to see them." 

Jed added some tsking noises. He wanted to show as much support as possible so that Leo wouldn't be inclined to leave. 

"So I have that group making all kinds of unsatisfactory noises and I think that maybe Toby would be the guy for them. He's here too, you know. I figure that Toby may not be the poster boy for environmental issues, but he is a warm body and he has a name in this administration. So I go to his office and find him on the floor surrounded by mountains of paper like you have never seen before. We all know that he is something of a pack rat, but even considering that, it was a striking sight. You should have seen it. 

Well anyway, I ask him to help out. And he fixes me with such a glare. Jed, you wouldn't have believed it. Says he's in the middle of something important and is not to be disturbed. I really don't know why I didn't just go in there and haul his ass out." 

Jed suppressed a small smile. Leo didn't haul Toby out because he knew that if Toby said something was important, it was important. 

"So there I am, stuck with the tree huggers in my office. And then Margaret...Oh Jed, have I told you about Margaret? I am absolutely beside myself with her." 

Jed shook his head emphatically. There was nothing like the good Margaret story as told by Leo. 

"I can see your gleam, Jed. Put it away. This is not a funny story. She came in today all banged up. You should see her. She's got crutches, a thing on her arm, and her face is six shades of purple." 

"What happened?" asked the President. 

"That's the other weird part. She won't tell me. Says I have to trust her. Says she knows what she's doing." 

"It's not a car accident?" 

"No." 

"Is she dating someone?" the President asked apprehensively. 

"I don't think so. The last one I knew about was that no good doctor from Bethesda. All she will tell me is that she is trying to help a friend. I have half a mind to..." 

"Leo, you do have half a mind if you finish that thought. There is to be no surveillance or bugging or anything done by the government in order to delve into your assistant's life. I thought you would have learned the last time. She almost quit when she found out you had her tailed on her date with the doctor. Not to mention the litigation that could arise from further violation of her privacy." 

"Jed, I know all of that. But I can't sit by and watch her get hurt. There is something very serious going on. In the middle of my meeting with the banking committee, she jumps up and disappears. Half an hour later, I find her stretched out on Toby's couch of all places. Her foot looked terrible. Bonnie and Ginger were hovering around her like a couple of student nurses. Bonnie told me that she crashed Toby's office. She was loopy on all the pain medication they gave her and so I told them to take her home. What am I supposed to do?" 

"Do you trust her? Do you think that Margaret is a bright and capable woman?" 

"Of course, I do. Do you think she would be running my office if she wasn't the best there is." 

"Give her a little time, Leo. My guess is that she has a perfectly good reason for all of this craziness." 

"She wants me to be patient," he said. 

"So be patient with her, at least for the time being, Leo," the President said gently trying to smooth out Leo's alarmed expression. Instead of being entertained, Jed Bartlet found himself worried. It definitely sounded like something was up and here he lay confined to a bed and unable to help.   
  
  


**Chapter 6 **

**Outrages **

Sam was sitting in his office alone. Everyone had cleared out for the evening including Toby who left carrying about twice the file load that Sam had been trying to carry earlier in the day. Sam was glad to be alone. He had a lot of thinking to do. 

In his hands, he held a copy of "Young Voices", the book written by the Young Sisters with Voices group. He had been reading it for the last three hours completely oblivious to the piles of work that surrounded him. Cathy told him that Leo was looking for him, but, for the moment, Sam didn't really care. He was too engrossed in the stories of the girls he had met that day. Some were written in verse or prose, others were written as firsthand accounts. There was even a haiku. He hadn't anticipated the amount of depth, pain, and the beauty that he had encountered on these pages. 

The girls had spent the better part of the day telling him their stories in person. He had been shocked by what he had heard. The violence of their experience, and the ignorance and apathy of the legal system horrified him. At first, he wondered about the accuracy of their accounts, but the sincerity of their words and feelings soon penetrated his doubts. It amazed him that young women who could face such atrocity were able to talk about it with frankness and strength. They seemed so normal and healthy and yet they told him things he would never have imagined possible. Sam had received a blow to his sense of idealism on this day. 

Janice showed him the place on her head where her skull had cracked when her father had hit her with a two by four. Janice's father had only received eighteen months in jail for that. The defense had convinced the judge that there were extenuating circumstances because Janice had sneaking out at night. The defense claimed that father was merely at his wit's end about how to handle his rebellious daughter. Pi-Ying talked about being ostracized and ignored by her family when she reported sexual abuse by a cousin. She started running away to an aunt who did believe her. The courts labeled her a status offender. And then she had spent eighteen months in a detention facility before her aunt could gain custody. Latasha had been raped by several members of the high school football team at a party. When it turned out that the town's star athletes were involved, Latasha was pressured to drop the charges by the coach and members of the city council. Serenity had also been assaulted by a popular guy in her school. The judge had seen his impressive grades plus his acceptance letter to Havard and had concluded that he deserved another chance. He had received one-year probation and 100 hours of community service. The judge then told Serenity that her attacker's academic achievements should be an inspiration to her. 

Sam had been choked with anger by much of what he had heard. Hours after they had left the White House, he was still haunted by their faces and stories. He couldn't concentrate on anything else so he picked up their book hoping to learn more from reading their words. One of the things that most fascinated him was how their descriptions of hopelessness and rage were always balanced by the images of their eventual triumph against the pain. He read one passage by Heather over and over; 

"For a while, I was so sad. I could think of nothing else but the assault. Then my cousin came to visit. One day, we were both lying on the couch in the front porch and she said that I should pretend that I was a princess who had been captured by an enormous and fierce dragon. This dragon had trapped me in a dark room and I had given into despair. Then she wanted to know how I would escape. At first, I didn't want to play, but she finally convinced me to try. For days we played this game. We decided that the princess would not be the usual damsel in distress. We imagined her being tough and knowing how to fight. In our story, we said that she had given in because the dragon had cast a spell on her. So we looked for ways for her to rise up again and fight him. She was clever and brave, and so we found a way for her to escape the dark room. Then she fought terrible battles and faced horrible hardships against the dragon, and in the end she prevailed. She defeated the dragon and the kingdom was saved. I was sad on the day that my cousin was going to leave. I felt like she had brought fun back into my life for a short time and I worried that I would feel depressed again when she was gone. She put her arm around and told me that I was the princess in the story. She said that the dragon was the assault and that I must continue to fight against the dark places he wants to bring me. She told me I was clever and brave, and could always find ways to triumph against him. I started to cry. I will always remember how she helped me that week. After that, whenever I would feel bad, I would remember that I was a brave and clever princess and that I need to find a way to fight against the dragon. It always works for me. These days I am proud that I can stand tall wherever I go." 

Sam knew that Josh had put him that room for a reason. Josh wanted him to see something related to violence against women that wasn't papers and numbers. Josh knew that these girls would have an impact on him. He was right. Sam knew that Josh and Freida wanted him to do more than just listen to the stories. They would expect him to find a way to stand against the injustices that these girls had suffered. But they were asking him to do it behind the reauthorization of a bill that was weak and ineffective. Sam knew that they deserved better than that. Sam returned to his reading. Maybe these stories would give him some inspiration as to how he could confront his own ferocious dragon.   
  
***********************************************************

Toby was also sitting alone, thinking. Before him was spread much of the information that his staff had gathered for him throughout the day. In here somewhere, he hoped to find a way to salvage the trade bill. He was not interested in any further efforts to retrieve the stolen disc. He was sure that the disc was tainted. Grey was used to getting his way. The idea that he was sincerely offering to exchange the disc for some affidavits was preposterous. This guy was planning to walk away with everything. Toby was sure of it. Toby's plan was to sit down with Donna in the morning and explain that even if they could retrieve it, they could never use it. Then he hoped that she would concentrate her energies on bringing charges against her attacker. 

He knew from his earlier conversations with Josh that the disc contained information about which legislators would vote for the package and what trade-offs the White House would offer them. If Grey had leaked it, and Toby was certain he had, then the Republicans would know where to concentrate their energies before the vote. They would know whom to pressure. They would exactly how the President planned to get this done. 

Toby had to find a way to reclaim that element of surprise from the Republicans. 

There had to be a rabbit that could still be pulled from a hat. Toby figured that his only chance was to find this rabbit. Keeping the Republicans off balance was the only the trick left to them. 

Despite his concentration on this project, he still found time to glance at the phone every few minutes. He had called C.J. earlier in hopes that she would be less angry, but he only got her machine. He was hoping that she would call back. If she did, he would tell her that he was sorry again. And maybe she would forgive him for being difficult and pig-headed. Then he would know for sure that he wasn't losing the best thing in his life. As he was playing out this scenario once more, the phone rang. He jumped for it. 

"Hello C.J....Margaret, is that you?...Where are you?....What happened?...Is she okay?...How did he find you?...Yes, I understand that it can't be hard...I'm sure all he did was ask for the name of the redhead on crutches while he was at the White House today...Yes, anyone could have told him...And I suppose you're listed?...Alright, let me see if I understand this correctly. A process server came to your apartment and served Donna. He said what...Grey is planning to sue Donna?...For defamation of character and slander?...Craziness!...I agree, you're not safe there...Who knows what's next? This idiot is totally unpredictable...You have a cab waiting?...Okay, come here. Do you know how to find my place?...Margaret, now is not the time to talk about being an imposition...Just get here, okay. We'll figure it out then."   
  
  


# Chapter 7 

**Tests **

Margaret sat on a couch littered with paper while Donna paced and Toby read the legal papers she had received. Margaret needed a break from the constant tension so she looked around at Toby's place. The living room was decorated with black leather furniture and a few pieces of political art. In the corner there was a CD player with impossibly tall stacks of CD's surrounding it. The walls were crowded with bookshelves that rose to the ceiling and were filled with books of all description and sheaves of paper bound in files, accordion folders, and just lying loose. As usual with Toby, the paper was everywhere. There were stacks of it on the shelves as well as piles along the hardwood floor, piles that she could tell had been part of the landscape for some time. Separate from his interesting décor, there was the paper metropolis he had set up on the living room floor on and around his coffee table. She assumed this was the trade bill he was working on. She took one more look at the overall effect and decided that she was glad that she wasn't the woman in his life. C.J., She concluded must have the patience of a saint. 

"That's it then. He's gone on the offensive. The time for secrets is over," Toby concluded when he finished reading the papers she had handed him. 

"Toby, I still think that I can convince him to give us the disc," she reasoned. 

"Donna, that horse has been beat into the ground. If he showed up with the disc right now, I would throw it. I wouldn't use one idea on it. It's no good to us anymore. We have to assume they know everything." 

"But Toby..." 

"Donna, I understand your wish to save this bill, but this course of action is no longer reasonable. You need to start thinking about what you do for yourself. And we need to tell them where the disc has gone. We don't have much time and we're going to need new strategy." 

"I didn't want this to happen," Donna lamented. 

"Donna, stop thinking about the bill. This...perpetrator has accused you, he's made you the attacker. His plan is to ruin you. Right now he's somewhere thinking that he will have you run out of Washington inside a month. And he probably has about 37 lawyers conferring right now about how to get that done. This is where your head should be. The trade bill and the assault have become two very separate things and we need to think of them as such," Toby was reasoning with her softly. 

"What do we do now?" she whispered. 

"We need strategies for both of these things. And we need them now. We're going to need all the help we can get." 

"Do you mean now! It's 11:30 at night." 

"Yes," he replied clearly. 

She looked down at the ground for a long minute. She shook her head sharply once as if she was having an argument inside her brain. Then she looked up with frightened eyes. "Call them," she said in a soft whisper.   
  
**************************************************

"Wait! Hold that elevator," Josh called to the man disappearing inside the doors. Josh saw a hand emerge and stop the door from sealing. Then the doors opened to reveal an impatient Leo McGarry. 

"He called you too!" Josh said with a look of surprise. 

"What the hell is going on that I have to be at Toby's at midnight on a Monday night?" asked an irritated Leo. 

"I have no clue. But I shouldn't be surprised. This has been the weirdest day." Josh leaned against the back wall of the elevator as the doors closed and their ascent began. 

"You're telling me, Josh. Can you believe that I found Margaret lying in pain on Toby's couch earlier today? Bonnie claims that Margaret hopped her way through the communications area and then fell through his door. She says that Margaret says one thing to him and he takes off running. What the hell could that have been about?" asked Leo with his arms in the air. 

"I walk into my office this afternoon and find Toby in there with Donna. He was in foul mood and I swear to God, she was crying. Then they both get away from me as soon as possible. I don't have the faintest idea as to what is going on," Josh added shaking his head. 

"What is he up to?" Leo said as the doors opened. 

"And what does it have to do with our assistants?" Josh pondered as he knocked on Toby's door. Toby answered and invited them in. 

"Okay Toby. We're here. It's midnight. What do you want?" began Leo without preamble. 

"Well, it's a little complica..." Toby was interrupted by a crash behind him. He winced at the sound of breaking glass. Clearly Margaret had not yet mastered the art of reaching for things while wearing a sling. 

"Who the hell is that?" demanded Josh. 

"Ahh,... that would be Donna and Margaret in my kitchen," Toby answered slowly. Josh and Leo stared at him for a minute and then transferred that look to one another. 

"What the hell are they doing in your kitchen?" Leo asked precisely. 

"Ahh,...Well knowing Margaret, I imagine she is looking for some tomato soup to heat up." Toby said realizing how ridiculous he must sound. 

"I'm in the middle of a Kafka novel," said Josh to no one in particular. 

"What the hell is going on?!!" thundered Leo. C.J. and Sam appeared behind him. 

"What have we walked into?" Sam inquired warily. 

"Well apparently, Margaret and Donna are in Toby's kitchen cooking up some soup because it's midnight so it's really nothing out of the ordinary," Josh said sarcastically and then he added. "I half expect Fitzwallace to pop out of the bedroom with a load of laundry. Or does he have the night off, Toby?" Toby took a deep breath. He had a feeling that this was going to be a very long night. 

"I think it would be a good idea for all of us to sit down so this whole thing can be explained." Toby gestured to his couches and chairs all of which were still littered with his work. 

"And then you are going to explain everything!" Leo warned more than asked. 

"Well, no, not exactly. I'm not going..." Toby began. 

"It's my story to tell." Donna announced as she and Margaret appeared from the kitchen interrupting Toby. 

"Donna, I don't understand what's going on? What are you doing here?" Josh looked at her with confusion. 

"It would be so much better if I could just talk to you alone, first. You deserve that. But it's really too late for any of that. The whole thing has gotten out of hand." She saw only Josh when she said this. 

"Okay, Donna. Whatever is going on, you have to know that I'm there for you, always," he replied sincerely. 

"I know. But I'm going to hurt and disappoint you tonight. And I wish that there were some way that could be avoided. I would do anything. I guess I sort of have already. Toby says the time for secrets is over and I now know that he's right." Tears were falling from her eyes as she looked at the man who meant so much to her. "I'm so sorry, Josh," she added trying to swallow the sobs that welled up inside her. Josh stared at her for a moment with a mixture of apprehension and dread. He could tell that something very significant was happening in front of him. He shook his head violently to dislodge the fear that was gripping him. And then he strode forward, taking her into his arms. He didn't know what had happened to hurt her so deeply, but he knew enough to hold and comfort her. 

"Margaret, do you want to fill us in?" Leo asked with not a little impatience. 

"No," she replied never taking her eyes off Donna and Josh. She prayed that Josh wouldn't let go when the truth came out. 

"Margaret!" 

"Leo, calm down," she said sharply. "I realize that you're impatient. I understand that. But this is Donna's story and she'll be the one to tell it." Leo looked surprise at this response. Margaret was leaning wearily against the couch, her foot throbbing in pain. 

"Margaret, you look very tired," C.J. said gently. She hadn't seen Margaret's injuries until this evening. There was something about the way that she looked that reminded C.J. of a time long ago in her own life. She felt something deep in her gut that she knew the men around her might not understand. "Let me help you get situated on the couch." Margaret looked surprised by this offer, but allowed C.J. to lead her over to a couch. C.J. gave Toby a look of disgust as she swept his papers onto the ground and then she seated Margaret. Leo looked a little humbled by C.J.'s kindness. He went over and stood behind Margaret as if to indicate that he would be the one to offer Margaret any further gestures of kindness. 

Toby finally had corralled everyone into a seat with the exception of Josh and Donna. He seated himself and they all waited. Donna was finally able to pull away from his embrace. She looked at him for one long minute and then she turned to the group. Toby offered her a seat beside him and she gratefully took it. She would need his support and guidance if she were going to get through this. Josh saw this and found himself further confused by whatever connection Toby seemed to have with Donna. 

Donna took a deep breath before she began. She looked at Margaret and Toby for support. Toby gave her a nod and Margaret smiled at her. Finally Donna began to tell her friends and colleagues about her terrible odyssey. 

She started by talking about the fight she and Josh had last Friday. She talked about the blow to her pride that occurred when Josh had indicated that Grey had no real interest in her. Josh looked embarrassed as she told this to the group. She told them about her act of defiance by going out with Tucker Grey. When she talked about inviting him up to her apartment, her voice started to break. Josh seemed to sense that this story was going to end badly and he jumped out of his chair, pacing before them. She stopped for a minute. She wanted to ask him to sit, but she knew she shouldn't control his reactions. 

She looked at Josh when she started to talk about realizing how he had been right all along and that all she had wanted in that moment was for Grey to leave. He tried to meet her eyes, but his apprehension was too great. She took a deep breath and told of the hole that he punched in the wall and how she had run into her bedroom. "He followed," she said in the softest whisper and yet everyone could hear it as if it were shouted from rooftops. Then she stopped and looked down. Nothing in the room stirred for a moment including Josh. He had halted his pacing at her words and was staring at her in shock. Toby looked at him and then reached over for Donna's hand as if to role model for Josh what she would need from him. C.J. was watching everything intently. Her breathing had gotten quick as the story progressed, and she let out a little gasp when Toby held Donna's hand. 

For Margaret, the tears had finally come. She had held so much inside believing that her only role was one of support. Now she let them fall unhindered. She could feel every ounce of Donna's pain. And within it, she found her own pain reflecting back at her. Leo reached from behind the couch and placed his hands on her shoulders. She accepted his touch gratefully. 

"I saw him today. He was at the West Wing. Was he being arrested? Tell me he's in jail, Donna," Josh burst out with wild eyes. 

"It's more complicated than that." She began. 

"How, Donna? How can it be complicated?" Josh's voice was rising. 

"Josh, listen to her. There's more to the story," Toby counseled. 

"Why am I hearing this from you? What's your part in this whole thing? How did you become Donna's new best friend?" Josh shot at him with anger. 

"Please stop," Donna begged. Josh caught her eye in that moment and he held himself in. 

"I just don't understand, Donna," he said softly. 

"It got worse, Josh. It got much worse," she said looking at him sadly. She tried to begin again, but she was finding it hard to concentrate on everything. She started and stopped a couple of times, and then sat with her head down. 

"Can I help?" Margaret asked gently. Donna nodded her head. 

Margaret talked about their plan to meet and Donna turning up missing. She talked about going to the apartment and finding Donna after the assault. She said that Donna had been in shock and needed support. 

"Why didn't I get a call? Where are the police in this story?" Josh interrupted. 

"Josh!" Leo yelled. "Sit down now. We have to hear this thing through." 

Josh remained standing for a minute finding refuge in his rebellion. Finally, his breathing slowed and he went to a chair. Sam sat on the edge of his seat looking for a way to offer something, anything, to fight the pain that floated freely about the room. 

Margaret looked at Donna for a minute before continuing. She seemed to sense the permission to continue. And so she gave voice to the other big secret. "Josh, the reason that Donna was reluctant to involve the police was that he had taken from her apartment something that belonged to you. She wanted to find a way to get it back before...before it was too late." Josh stared at Margaret. She continued. "Donna took your trade bill disc home with her. She wanted to edit and format it for you. She wanted to do this thing as a way of telling you she was sorry for the fight. Grey took the disc, Josh." Josh closed his eyes as the receipt of this information. 

"How did you two think you were going to get it back, Margaret?" Leo asked incredulously. 

"He showed up Sunday morning. Donna tried to reason with him. But he's not... he's a bad man, Leo. He started to threaten her and I didn't know what to do and so I attacked him." 

"He's the one that did this to you." Leo's temper was rising. 

"Yeah. It happened really fast, Leo," she said as if to offer some consolation. 

"I've met this guy," Sam added with awe. "We played rugby on the same team one weekend. This guy's about 6'2" and 200 lbs., Margaret. This guy's an athlete." 

"I didn't know what else to do," she said simply. 

"He's walking free right now, is that correct? He raped Donna. He beat you. And he has stolen White House documents. But he walks free. Maybe this makes sense. When's his birthday? We should plan a party for the guy." Leo was red with anger. Margaret closed her eyes and tried to block out the rage filled energy in the room. 

"Toby," C.J. asked quietly. "What's your part in all of this?" It was something of necessary distraction as they all turned their eyes to him. 

Toby told about his encounter with Donna in the West Wing that night. 

"It ate at me, C.J.. There was something about her eyes. And I was so wrapped up in my own life that I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't get it out of my head. So I went over to Donna's to check on her Sunday morning before we were supposed to leave. I thought it would help me concentrate on our time together." He looked at her through this explanation searching her face for a reaction. But C.J. revealed nothing. 

"They told you everything?" Sam asked. 

"It was obvious. I came not long after Grey had assaulted Margaret." Toby explained. 

"And your plan, once you learned everything, was to sit on your ass and do nothing?" Josh inquired sarcastically. Toby took a deep breath. It would do no good to try and reason with Josh just now. 

"Yeah, Toby, it seems that Josh has a pretty good question," Leo added. 

"I didn't want to take over. They were already so powerless. It didn't make sense to do anything until they were ready," he offered. 

"Okay, but Donna's in shock and Margaret's just been beat. You think they know the right thing to do?" Leo countered. 

"Leo, I don't know what to say. It seemed like the right thing to do. Donna wasn't ready to do the things I wanted her to do. I had to respect that. And before you get started again, I want you to know that I realize that I'm about the last person in the world a person goes to for support. But I stumbled into this thing and I've been trying to feel my way through it ever since." C.J. was staring intently at him throughout his explanation. 

"He was at the West Wing today," Josh remembered. "Did he try to hurt you again?" 

"He was trying to get a deal out of me. He said he would give me the disc in exchange for affidavits from Margaret and I stating that he had done nothing to us." Donna was spent. Her voice was hollow. "Toby got there before I could agree." 

"My God. I can't believe all of this," Josh stated incredulously. 

"Josh, I wanted to fix things. I know what was on that disc. I know what that could do to the President's trade bill vote. It was my fault that he had it. I took it from you without permission. I know you should fire me for this. I screwed up and I didn't want you to pay for that," Donna blurted it out. Josh shook his head in amazement. 

"You can't possibly think that disc is any good to us now, Donna," he said. 

"No, I held onto to that idea too long, Josh. I understand that," she answered him quietly. 

"Grey sent someone to serve Donna this evening at Margaret's home. He's suing her for defamation and slander. He has all the resources he needs to destroy her," Toby added. 

"Is that all?" Leo burst out sarcastically. 

Toby looked back at him in silence. Everyone in the room sat silently for a while trying to process all of the information they had received in such a short time. 

"Josh," Donna said hopefully. 

"I don't know, Donna. I really don't know." 

"What are you thinking? What are you feeling?" 

"How can I know right now? Have you dropped all of your precious gems yet or not?" C.J. winced at the sarcasm that came out of Josh in that moment. 

"That's everything. I'm so sorry. I just wish you could say something so I could know. I'm going nuts here." 

Me too, Donna. I don't know what you want me to say." C.J. wanted to grab him and shake him. 

"You've got this look in your eyes. When you look at me, Josh...," she persisted. 

"How could I possibly have a look, Donna? I can't even think right now. How could my face know how to look at you?" Donna breathed in sharply at this. Josh saw it but he couldn't feel it right now. He couldn't respond. 

"I need to think and I need some air," he said getting up. 

"Josh, let's talk," Donna pleaded. 

"I don't know how to talk about this right now. It's too much...I just need to think for a while. I want to do this, but I just can't." Josh turned and fled the apartment. Donna dropped her head into her hands. Sam grabbed his coat and chased after him. 

"Well that was lovely," Leo said. 

"Leo, we need to figure this out. We need to plan a new strategy for the bill. And we need to figure out what to do about Grey," Toby began. 

"So now you want help, huh?" 

"Leo." Toby looked at him intently. 

"Forget it, Toby. We are not doing anything tonight. I can't get over how you handled this. I can understand their confusion, but you should have known better. This whole thing is a bungled mess and I'm blaming you for it," Leo retorted. 

Toby sighed. There was no point in trying to make his case any further tonight. 

"I want everyone in my office at 8 a.m. sharp," Leo said. "That is except for you two," he added looking at Donna and Margaret. 

"Leo..." Margaret began. 

"I don't want to hear it, Margaret. The two of you are not safe right now. I'll call Butterfield and he'll arrange a place." 

"No," Margaret shot back 

"This is not a discussion." 

"It sure as hell is, Leo. Since we got here, you have been treating Donna and I like we're children. Toby should know better, but a mess is what you would expect out of the two of us." 

"That's not what I meant." 

"It sure was. We're emotional, unpredictable. We need protecting. I'm tired of it. I'm not going to your safehouse, Leo." She said to him her eyes flashing in anger. 

"Okay, so your plan is to stay out there so that Grey can do whatever he feels like, when he feels like it." 

"We're not idiots, Leo. Toby has extended an invitation for us to stay here." Toby's eyes widened. 

"Well that's great. The three stooges together again. I'm loving this." 

"That's enough." Shouted C.J. at them. "Toby's place is no good. Have you seen his guest bedroom? It looks like the archives at the New York Public Library. There is no place for you here. I want you to come home with me, both of you." 

"Thank you, C.J.." Margaret looked relieved. 

"What are you talking about? If he can find you at Margaret's, he can find you at C.J.'s," said an exasperated Leo. 

"We'll be fine as long as people know how to keep a secret," Margaret countered. "I know Toby has that ability. How about you, Leo?" Leo was encountering a Margaret that he had not expected. He was at a loss as to where to go next. 

"Leo's right, you two. You shouldn't come to work tomorrow. You're exhausted. You need to rest. And you need a chance to think. Don't worry about any of this other stuff. Nothing happens to him without you being a part of it." C.J. was taking over and Toby was grateful. 

"I gotta go," Leo said and then he looked at Toby. "8 a.m. sharp, Toby. We have a lot to talk about, my friend." He turned to Margaret and searched for something to say, but nothing came. So he nodded at her, turned, and left. 

"Well, let's get you over to my place," C.J. said to the two women. 

"I spilled some soup, C.J.. I gotta go clean it up," Margaret said and before anyone could protest, she and Donna disappeared into the kitchen. 

Toby looked at her in silence and she returned his gaze. Finally she said, "Toby, you know that I love you and I always will..." 

Toby jumped in before it could go further. "Please C.J., don't say anything right now. Take some time to think about this. I didn't know what else to do. I can't lose you right now. I don't think I can lose you ever." 

"Toby, I think you are under a mistaken impression. I don't want to break up with you," she told him softly. "I want you to know that you're my hero." 

"What?" he was breathless. 

"Thank you for what you have done," she returned. He was speechless. She walked over and put her arms around him. He buried his face in her neck. They stayed this way for some time, rocking back and forth together. Another crash in the kitchen broke their reverie. 

"What are they doing in the kitchen, Toby?" 

"Believe me when I say this, C.J.. It's worth your time to stop at a grocery on the way home. Pick up several cans of tomato soup. Leave them on the counter. Leave the opener beside them. Put a pan on the stove. And then you should be fine." He would put a finger to her lips to prevent another question. And then he returned to holding her tightly.   
  
****************************************************************

Sam had to run two blocks before he finally caught up with Josh. He received such a hard look from his friend when he reached him that he wondered if it had been a good idea to chase after him at all. He stood for a minute as Josh walked off again. Then he trotted after him. 

"Sam, you're really not getting the message here," Josh shot back at him looking over his shoulder. 

"Maybe you'll want to talk in a little while," Sam reasoned. 

"I would doubt that, Sam. I just want to be alone." 

"I'll be quiet." 

"You've never stayed quiet in your entire life, Sam." 

"Watch me." 

"Suit yourself." 

"You just think or whatever you're doing. And then I'll follow along as kind of a bodyguard. Even for a guy, it's not the safest thing to walk the streets all night. So you just do your thinking and I'll watch your back, okay." 

"Shut up, Sam." 

And he did. For the next hour, he followed Josh as he walked through the streets of DC. Josh headed for the mall near the Washington Monument and Sam wasn't at all surprised. Sam knew Josh to be a sentimental guy and the majesty and history of the monument never failed to touch him. In the middle of his second lap around the reflecting pool, Josh finally stopped. Sam waited. 

"Do you know where Tucker Grey lives?" 

"I think so." 

"Tell me." 

"No." 

"Tell me, damn it." 

"No." Sam stood his ground quietly standing before Josh. 

"Sam..." 

"No, Josh, I think that this situation has already seen more than its share of freelancing." 

"I walked out on her when she needed me most." 

"So you'll beat up Grey. This will prove your support to Donna?" 

"I don't know. It seems like the most reasonable to do right now." 

"You need more time." 

"I don't know what to feel. She didn't trust me. She lied to me. Why?" 

"She was trying to protect you." 

"Sam..." 

"Josh, did you hear her? She let him back into her apartment. She let the man who raped her back into her apartment so that she could help you. Do you understand that?" 

"How could she think..." 

"Who's thinking? Are you thinking when you say you want to go and beat his brains out?" 

"She still should have come to me." 

"Yeah. Instead, she took a page out of her boss's book and decided to handle it herself. She was going to make sure that no one else had to suffer in the way she was." 

"I don't know." 

"I do. I hope that one day there is someone who looks at me the way she looks at you. She would jump off a cliff for you. And I know you would do the same for her. I don't know what that will turn into for the two of you, but I do know that every time I see it between you, I feel like I am missing out on something special in my own life." 

"I should go to her." 

"Yes, you should when you're ready. Go to her when it's not about you. Go to her when you're ready to listen. I doubt she has any room in her for any further disappointments." Josh stared at him speechless when Sam had finished speaking. Sam took a breath and continued. 

"You're the one who thought I needed a dose of humanity. You're the one who set me up with a room full of teen-age girls. I read their book. I listened to their stories. I saw them as victims. They showed me they were survivors. I never anticipated the strength that I encountered in their words. Josh, what I'm saying to you is that you heard one story tonight from Donna and I heard another. I heard her trying to protect you. I heard her feeling incredible anguish at the thought of failing you. And I heard her be willing to risk herself with a monster in order to fix things. You heard a story of betrayal. That story seems secondary to me and it seems to be more about you than it is about her." Sam took a deep breath at the end of this soliloquy. He hoped that Josh would understand what he was trying to convey. 

"So you think I'm selfish?" 

"No, I think you're human. You're no different than anyone else. But I know you. You don't want to hurt her anymore than she has already been hurt. And until you confront this within you, you're no good to her." 

"You figured all of this out from one afternoon with a group of adolescent girls." 

"Well, I guess I just exist on a different learning curve than the rest of you mere mortals." 

"I'm going to go home now." Josh appeared a great deal more relaxed than he had a few minutes earlier. 

"Josh, she's gonna need a very good lawyer. I'm going to talk to Freida tomorrow. She'll know where to start. Let me work on that. You concentrate on Donna, okay." Josh thought for a minute and nodded. He started to say something, but then he shook his head and walked away into the night.   
  
  


**Chapter 8 **

**Reflections **

"Well, I sure as hell hope you are all well rested. We have a pretty big mess to clean up," Leo announced as he entered his office. No one bothered to respond to his irritated tone. It was clear that no one had slept at all since Toby's midnight meeting. Exhaustion and emotions left them all on edge. Sam and Josh had seated themselves as far away from Toby as possible who sat on the end of a couch against the wall with his head resting on his hand. His attempts at salutations had been rebuffed so he had resigned himself to his status as persona non grata. C.J. sat in the middle hoping to facilitate some communication, but the hostile looks around the room convinced her to let it rest for the time being. 

"C.J., how are they doing this morning?" Leo asked gruffly. 

"We stayed up all night and talked. Donna is pretty shaky still. I am hoping that they went to bed after I left." 

"I'm glad your slumber party went well. Now, we're going to have figure out what to do about this fiasco," Leo said irritably. 

"I talked to Josh's friend, Freida. She's going to meet with me this morning about Donna's situation. Hopefully, we can go over and see Donna. Freida might be able to advise her on her options at this point," Sam said. 

"Alright, Sam, you take that one. Maybe we can save Donna's reputation if not her job," said Leo. 

"Oh, so this has been decided," Josh jumped in angrily. 

"We can't have one set of standards for one person and have another set for all the rest," said Leo pragmatically. 

"Yeah, well, I seem to remember a certain staffer who leaked your CD treatment records to the Republicans who got to keep her job," Josh retorted. 

"And if you recall, that turned out to be disastrous. The whole section froze her out. She quit within the month." 

"This is completely different, Leo." 

"Josh, I'm not going to argue this with you right now. We'll deal with this on Friday after the vote." 

"I'm not done with this. I'm not going to let this happen." 

"Friday, Josh!" Leo said sharply. The room fell silent for a moment. Toby waded in cautiously. 

"I have some ideas on we can handle the trade bill that I would like to share," he advanced. 

"So now, you think you're ready to share with us. Well, I am sure am glad. Now we will have a full three days before the floor vote. Thank you for that, Toby," Leo said sarcastically. Toby returned a look. 

"Toby, I'm not sure I can work with you on this. I have an issue of trust with you right now," Josh said coldly. 

"This is good. We can sit around here with our hurt feelings for the next three days. That should be helpful. I'm sure everyone will understand that the political process in this country needs to come to a grinding halt so that the President's men can nurse their egos," Toby retorted. 

"I really don't think you want to lecture anyone today, Toby," Leo said slowly. 

"Great. Sounds good. I'm going to go now. If anybody wants to work on strategy for the trade bill, I'll be in my office." Toby got up, his files in hand, and marched out of the room. C.J. jerked a little as to get up and follow. But she thought better of it and sat back in her chair. 

"Does he really expect us to just overlook his complicity in this whole thing?" Josh asked the room, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"What did you say?" C.J. said before she could stop herself. 

"We know he's your boyfriend, but when we are at work, I expect you to maintain an objective stance on things." Leo said to her. 

C.J.'s mouth dropped. "And you guys would be my role models for objectivity?" she asked dangerously. 

"We have a right to be mad," Sam said weakly. He wasn't as angry as either Josh or Leo, but he was feeling some allegiance to Josh right now. 

"By all means, let's make sure your rights and the rights of all upper class white men are protected," C.J. retorted. 

"Don't go there, C.J.," Leo said. 

"I don't have to go anywhere. I am already there, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You guys make me sick right now." 

"C.J...." Josh began. 

"I don't want to hear it, Josh. In fact, I don't want to hear anything from any of you right now. You stand there all pompous and righteous about how you've been wronged. You think you have some huge right to be mad. What's the matter with you?" C.J.'s words tumbled out before her. The men in front of her were stunned. 

"You have been patronizing and insensitive through this entire thing," C.J. continued. "Margaret was right, Leo. You were very condescending to her. And Josh, you just need to get over yourself. Sam, I don't have much to say to you except that this is probably not the best time to straddle the fence." 

"Who are you to tell..." Leo interjected. 

"I'll tell you who I am, Leo," C.J. spoke with such fury that she ran over the Chief of Staff's words and never looked back. "I am a woman who lives in a man's world. I am not complaining. I made this choice and I love what I do. But there are times, Leo. Oh, there are times. And this would be one of them. Here all of you sit with your right to be angry, mumbling about how things would have been different if you had only been told early enough. You are all so full of it. You don't know the first thing about what's going on. You sit around here trying to make a strategy, for God's sakes." She paused for a moment. 

"That's enough, C.J." began Leo. 

"Is it, Leo? Do you know what it's like to be assaulted? It's not about the sex, you know. It's about the power and the control. Subjugating another person, to conquer someone, to bring them into total submission. That's what assault is, gentlemen. That's what happened to Donna last week. Do you know what that's like?" She paused again for a moment. No one moved to interrupt her. "I know what it's like." She began softly. "I know about the helplessness and the shame and the anger. I know about all of that." 

"I didn't know," Josh said in disbelief. 

"I didn't tell you. It was a long time ago. I was young. Let's just suffice it to say that the police wanted to know more about my motives for reporting than they did about the actual incident itself. I took the first available opportunity to get out of my hometown and I've never looked back." 

"You think we're screwing this up?" Sam inquired. 

"I think that Donna has had her fill of control and anger. And she certainly doesn't need more of it from any of you. The same goes for Margaret." 

"Let's all well and good, but we have other accountabilities here, C.J.. We can't just pretend that everything can happen based on her comfort level," Leo reasoned softly. 

"I know. This is what all of you are using to justify your impatience and anger with Toby. He didn't follow the rules, did he? He didn't take charge. Instead he let them make the choices. He didn't treat them like they were fragile or irrational. And you might think I'm defending him right now, but I'm not. He didn't do this because he has some special sensitivity. All of us in this room know better than that. I'm sure he was just sitting there in the tall grass with no clue about what to do except listen to them. My point here is that you all could use a little of that kind of humility right now." C.J. was finished. She looked around at the men in her life. She didn't want to hurt them. They were good men and she was proud to know them. But she was also not about to apologize for what she felt in her heart to be true. 

"I gotta go work now. Are we finished here?" she asked after a minute. 

"Yeah, we're finished here. Let's see if we can come up with some strategies regarding the trade bill. Josh, I want you working with Toby on this. And Sam, see what you can find out for Donna. Then we'll talk to her and find out how she would like to proceed." Leo said in an oddly reflective voice. C.J. shared a grateful look with him before leaving.   
  
******************************************************

Josh slammed his phone down. He had been trying for two hours now and still no answer at C.J.'s. He had wanted to go over there with Sam, but Sam made it clear that this was not the time for Josh to resolve his feelings. Sam said that Donna would need to concentrate fully on discussing her situation with Freida. Josh wanted to argue with him. He wanted to tell Sam that he was ready to go in and not present any further stress for Donna. But the truth was that he wasn't sure he could trust himself yet. He had never dreamed that last night's reaction would have been possible and, yet, it happened. So he let Sam go there without him. At the time, it seemed like the thing to do, but now he was finding that he couldn't work, he couldn't think. He needed to know what was going on and he needed to know now. 

Sitting at his desk waiting for a call wasn't doing anything for him. He couldn't stand another minute of it. He needed to do something, anything. So he got up and abandoned his office. Soon, he found himself pacing outside of the communications area. After some minutes of this, Bonnie came out and regarded him with hands on her hips. 

"What!" he said to his audience of one. 

"Is this some sort of sporting event? Will there be others joining you?" she asked him in a slightly amused tone. 

"Mind your own business," he shot back. 

"I love to. Only I can't concentrate with your head bouncing back and forth in front of the window. You're like the duck shot at my county fair." 

"Leave me alone," he mumbled. 

"He's in his office, you know. And I would say that his mood is every bit as black as yours." 

"Oh." 

"I suppose you could continue pacing out here while he sulks in there. It would probably solve a lot of things. It certainly appears to be productive." Bonnie knew she was walking in a minefield right now, but she soldiered on. She was feeling impatient with the pouting of two grown men. 

Josh gave her a glare and then walked past her into the communications area. He walked right up to Toby's open door and then stopped. Inside he could see Toby engrossed in his work. In that minute, he wasn't sure he was ready to talk to him and so turned to leave. 

"Do you want something?" Toby asked his retreating back. Josh stopped not at all sure how he wanted to respond. 

"Are you coming or going?" Toby persisted. 

"I wanted to know where you were with the bill," Josh mumbled. 

"All of my ideas are single cells at this point. Nothing has germinated." 

"You want some help?" 

"You offering?" 

"Yeah." 

"You sure you want to work with one of Satan's minions?" 

"It's hard for me to accept that you were there for her. I was out of the loop. I should have been there." 

"It was not my decision to make." 

"I'm beginning to understand that." 

"Okay." 

"It's just that I can't reach her right now." 

"Sam and your friend are meeting with her." 

"I want to know what's going on. I'm tired of being left out." 

"I can understand that." 

"I have to be patient." 

"They should have let you get some practice at it first." 

"Very funny, Toby." 

"Anything I can do?" 

"I need to do something. Tell me where you are on the bill." 

"We have lost the element of surprise. The Republicans now know who is voting in what direction. They know who's jumping the fence." 

"I know. I should get down there and start to get our team back on board." 

"Forgot it, Josh. That ship has sailed. Nobody will want to see you right now. They are all too angry that the word is out." 

"You are absolutely positive that Sherman has the memo?" 

"Aren't you?" 

"We're screwed." 

"Yeah," Toby agreed. "I've been reading everything I can find on anything for two days now. I need a way to sneak up on them." 

"You have nothing solid?" 

"I have one thing I like, but it's very risky." 

"Tell me." 

"No." 

"Toby!" 

"Josh, this idea has about as much chance of succeeding as me turning twenty dollars into a million bucks at the blackjack table." 

"Then why are you wasting your time?" 

"Because it's devious and mean-spirited." 

"Give me a hint." 

"Remember when the President wanted to add that clause about farm subsidies to the trade bill?" 

"Yeah. We had to talk him out of it. Paying farmers not to plant has gone way out of style." 

"Right, but this was different. The President wanted to start an investment program for farmers that would technically be a subsidy, but would be a lot less expensive." 

"And do you remember that we decided that we would never pass this bill with it in there. We were looking for a bi-partisan effort. Fiscal conservatives do not care what package a farm subsidy is wrapped up in, they are going to vote against it." 

"And they knew we were going to be bi-partisan on this. They knew the President wasn't going to put in anything that would ruin that. They were very confident on this. Lead Republicans came to the White House and met with the President. Everybody decided to work hand in hand on this. We were like brothers. It brought tears to my eyes." 

"Toby, we knew they were going to try and screw us." 

"And they did. Giving speeches all over their home state talking about how hard they were fighting to get the President in line for a fair trade bill. They would vote for this one, but there was too much in it that would hurt the American people. They promised to put their own package together for the next session." 

"They hated that the whole bill was President Bartlet. It would make him look too good," Josh added. 

"Do you know what Sherman said at a luncheon of the South Carolina Agriculture Association?" 

"No." 

"He said and I quote, "The American farmer is the heart and soul of this country. Subsidies are not a handout. They are designed to protect our commitment to agriculture. If the President would have the courage to present a subsidy package, I would vote for it." Toby stopped and looked at Josh. 

He's such a horse's ass. The President doesn't add the subsidy because Sherman won't vote for it. So then he makes it sound like it's the other way around." 

"Isn't politics grand?" 

"I still don't get what you are up to." 

"I want to put Sherman and a few other senators who have said similar things out on a ledge. I want to see if they jump." 

"You mean you want to add the subsidy language again to corner them into putting their money where their mouth is." 

"Yeah." 

"Well, it won't work. First off, they'll just say it's a bad package. It's too late to launch a media campaign. And secondly, we can't add anything to the bill, it's been through committee already. The majority leader will never approve an amendment at this late date." 

"And you are right. They must be feeling awfully smug about now." 

"So?" Josh stayed confused. 

"So, I think you should go see Donna," Toby said. 

"Right, but I'm here to help. You asked for help." 

"And I do need help, but not right now. Today, I am going to have to bring my Machiavellian idea to the President. He can be just as black hearted as I can. I'm hopeful that he sees this beauty in this. Together, we'll tweak it a little. And I'm definitely gonna need you. Because tomorrow, I'm going to unleash you and your tough guy persona onto an unsuspecting populace." 

"I hope I understand it better by then." 

"Go see her. She needs you." 

Thanks, Toby." 

"Thanks for understanding what I did." 

"Don't thank me. It was C.J.. She took us all to task like a bunch of schoolboys. And we deserved it. When she told us about her own experience with an assault that sealed it for us. What you were doing started to make great deal of sense." 

"What assault?" Toby asked breathlessly. 

"The one that happened to C.J. when..." Josh caught the look of shock on Toby's face. "You don't know. I figured she would have told you of all people." 

"When?" 

"It was a long time ago, Toby." 

Toby stared at him. 

"Toby, she seems just fine. Don't worry about her." Josh still wasn't getting any response. "She's okay. Don't worry, Toby." Josh looked at Toby one last time. He looked lost. Josh wondered if he should stay, but he could see that Toby was going to need time before he was ready to talk. Josh knew that what he really needed was some time with a certain female press secretary. So he quietly left his stunned friend still standing in the middle of his office with a blank look on his face.   
  
  


**Chapter 9 **

**Beginnings **

Donna looked up from the couch at the sound of pots banging. Margaret was still busy in the kitchen. She had been in there for quite a while. Donna knew she was upset. She had wanted to talk about Donna's options and Donna had shut her down. And she knew that Margaret tended to deal with stress by staying busy. Then, of course, Margaret pretty much dealt with everything by staying busy. When she had checked on her last, Margaret was putting the canned goods in alphabetical order. Prior to that, she rearranged all of C.J.'s utensils according to size and purpose. Donna wondered what compulsive behavior could possibly be left for Margaret to do in there. She decided that her curiosity was not strong enough to get her off the couch. At least Margaret had stopped with the canned soups. Donna was pretty sure that she was never going to have another bowl of tomato soup again. 

Donna felt bad about pushing Margaret away. Margaret was a dear friend and, in the last few days, she had more than defined loyalty and friendship. But Donna was tired. Donna desperately needed a break from this madness. She had heard nothing encouraging from Sam and Freida. If anything, she was feeling more trapped now than she had before she had all of this help. They could see two ways out of this and both of them stunk. Everyone wanted to help. They all had ideas. But there was only one person Donna really wanted to talk to right now and he was nowhere in sight. 

"Do you still not want to talk to me?" Margaret interrupted her depressed reverie. 

"Yeah, I still don't want to talk." 

"I'm sorry to be such a crazy person. I never could keep a roommate for more than a few months." Margaret said apologetically. Donna smiled. She knew all about roommates. Until six months ago, she had always lived with other women. When she decided to live alone, she had been excited. Now she didn't know if she could ever handle being alone in an apartment again. 

"You are a crazy lunatic, but I still love you very much. You are a good friend to me." 

"But I'm hard to live with," Margaret clarified. 

"Well, I'd have to say that if you were my roommate, I would probably have to murder you in your sleep." 

"That seems extreme," Margaret pointed out. 

"I would feel justified," Donna said gently teasing her. 

"I'm not staying here tomorrow. I'm going back to work. I don't care what Leo says," Margaret said defiantly, deciding it was best to change the subject. 

"I wonder if I'll have a job to go to tomorrow," Donna said thinking about the many ways in which her life had changed in the last week. Margaret was poised to comment when there was a loud knock at the door. Margaret sucked in her breath sharply. 

"Don't answer it, Margaret," Donna said with eyes as wide as saucers. Margaret stayed rooted to her spot near the door. 

"Open up, Donna," insisted the door. 

"It's Josh," she whispered. Margaret wasn't taking chances. She advanced on the door and looked through the peephole. An impatient Josh Lyman stared back at her. Relieved, she opened the door and let him in. 

"H," he said cautiously. 

"Hi yourself," Margaret replied warily. She hoped that Josh knew what he was doing this time. Donna said nothing. 

"I'd like to say...I just want to apologize for my...It was wrong of me react...I'm so sorry. Oh, hell!" he said fumbling over the words he was trying to say. He tried to look at her in the beginning, but ended his apology staring down at his shoes. 

Still silent, she was watching him intently. 

"Maybe I'll go for a walk," said Margaret sensing the intimacy of what was happening in front of her. She started after her crutches. 

"Margaret, the last thing you really want to do is to take a walk. I know exactly how sore your foot must be by this time of the day," Donna said with the irritation of a doting parent. 

"I'm fine," Margaret scowled at her. 

"Maybe you would like to go for a walk," Josh suggested to Donna. 

"I don't know," she replied not looking at him. "I have a lot to think about right now." 

"Let me help, Donna. Please," he appealed to her. 

She looked at Margaret for a moment. Margaret nodded at her. 

"You should rest." Donna said to Margaret. "I really mean it, Margaret." 

"I know. I'll take one of those pills that make me woozy. It'll knock me right out," she assured her with a smile. 

"You'll walk with me?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she said softly.   
  
**********************************************************

When Josh had suggested walking to the mall and around the monuments, Donna shook her head. She needed someplace quiet, without many people. She told him in one word where she wanted to go. 

An hour later, she was seated, her arms hugging her legs to her chest, in the sand looking out on the Atlantic Ocean. She had spent the whole drive looking out her passenger window silently. Josh seemed to understand and allowed her this solitude. 

Now, he sat in the sand next to her determined to wait until she was ready. The sound of the ocean was soothing and rhythmic. He found himself hypnotized by the waves, watching them crash powerfully onto the shore. It was clear to him why she would find it peaceful here. 

"I understand what happened to you last night," she said finally, breaking the silence. 

"Don't make excuses for my running out on you," he replied. 

"It was painful. You are human. You needed to think. I was no better, hiding and lying to you. I betrayed you." 

"You had a lot at stake, Donna." 

"I do. I guess I thought I would do anything to protect it." 

"Donna, I'm not going to run away again. And I'm not angry at you." 

"I know that now." 

"Please let me in. Let me help," he pleaded. 

"I don't know that there is anything you can do at this point," she said, looking at him and smiling sadly. 

She returned to looking out upon the water. He waited. It was excruciating, but he waited. 

"Sam and a woman named Freida Williams visited me this morning," she said finally. 

"I know." 

"They called and talked to Tucker's lawyers before they came to see me. Sam wanted to understand their intentions further, I guess." 

"What happened?" 

"I have two exciting options from which to choose. If I sign an affidavit that says that nothing happened and accept a gag order, his lawyers say that everything will be dropped. I can go back to my life, or whatever is left of it." She took a deep breath. "If I proceed with filing charges, they plan to ruin me. I wasn't sure how they plan to do that, but Freida assures me that it can be done," she said softly. Josh hung on her every word, struggling to overcome the rage that threatened to explode from within. He knew that it was important for him to be helpful to her rather than out of control. He tried to stay calm in the face of this injustice. 

"Tell me what to do," she said searching his face. 

"Donna, I can't choose for you," he said gently. 

"I know which is the right thing to do," she said. "I just don't think that I have the strength to do it. I'm very tired." 

"I won't let him hurt you," Josh said sincerely to her bowed head. 

"I know. But he's very powerful, Josh. And he's rich. Sam says that he thinks Grey is more deeply connected to powerful people and resources than we even know. I'm not sure that we can win." 

Josh reached over with his hand and pulled her face toward his. He could see the exhaustion in her eyes. "Donna, listen to me. Don't be frightened away by this man's wealth. Grey doesn't have everything. In fact, I think that he is most definitely lacking in some very important areas." 

Donna looked confused. 

"He doesn't have your courage, Donna," Josh continued, "and he doesn't have my bulldog determination." 

She smiled a little and rested her cheek on the hand that still held her face. 

"We have those things, Donna. Plus we have more. We have Sam's goodness, Leo's ferocity, C.J.'s sensitivity, Toby's brilliance, Margaret's loyalty, and we have the President of the United States on our side. I think that we are more than well equipped to take on a rapist. We're going to take him to the mat, Donna. I promise you," Josh was looking intently into her eyes as he made this promise. For the first time in almost a week, Donna felt safe. 

"Freida says that the police might be tough on me. I've waited a week to report. Plus he has already filed charges against me. It will look like I am just trying to get back at him." 

"It'll be okay. I promise." 

"Will you go with me?" she asked softly. 

"Just try and keep me away," he returned with a smile. 

"I want to do it today." 

"That's a good idea." 

The wind was blowing her blonde hair into her face. She shivered suddenly. 

"Are you cold?" he asked gently. 

"And scared," she admitted. Josh removed his jacket and placed it on her shoulders. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

"Let me sit like this for a few minutes before we go." 

"You take all the time you need, Donnatella," he said rocking her gently.   
  
*******************************************************

"Oh, this is devilish, Toby," the President said with a gleam in his eye. He was still lying in his bed. Although, sometimes when Charlie wasn't in the room, he would walk around the room a little just to remind himself who was the boss. "I'm not sure that it has a chance in Hell of working, but I like it anyway. Toby, you're a regular criminal mastermind, you know that." 

"Well, thank you sir. I think," Toby said considering this back-handed compliment with his brow furled. 

"It will require some deceitful behavior on our part, correct?" inquired Jed Bartlet. 

"Yes, sir." 

"And some bold face lying?" 

"Yes sir." 

"Excellent!" 

"Yes sir." 

"Leo's not gonna like this, you know. He's gonna say we're the good guys and a bunch of crap about how we should be above all of this kind of criminal behavior." Jed regarded Toby. 

"I expect he will," Toby agreed. 

"But you want to do it anyway." 

"Yes sir." 

"Yeah, me too, but tell me why again. We're going need reasons when we invite Leo, the human conscience, in on these conversations. We're going to have to bolster ourselves with better justification than "just 'cause it would be fun." 

"Well, they played dirty..." Toby began. 

"No good. He'll have that one covered. He'll say that we shouldn't play at their level," the President said thoughtfully. 

"Sir, this is what you should tell Leo." Toby regarded the President seriously. "They are playing with information obtained at the expense of one of our own people's safety and well being. That is unacceptable to us. Tell him we play to win in this White House. They've forced us into a corner now and we're not going to take it lying down. Even if they beat us, we're going to go down fighting." 

"I like it," the President announced with satisfaction. "They might have us, but we're going to make them sorry that they won." 

"That's the spirit, sir." 

"My grandmother would want to pray for our souls if she knew what we were up to, Toby," the President added. 

"Sir, I promise you that I will try to find some time to feel bad about this. Maybe I can schedule it in during a commercial break some night when I'm watching Larry King or something." 

"Oh, I do like it when we can justify misbehavior." The President was positively gleeful. 

"Yes sir," said Toby thinking about the President's gleeful behavior and decided that he must have been allowed to control his own pain medication again. 

"Read me the thing again." 

"Okay, the wording currently reads, "...remuneration to farmers can occur under circumstances of federal order, FEMA authorization, in the case of special FSA (Farm Service Agency) programs, or under the order of the president." 

"I hate that "order of the president" part. Congress almost never lets me do what I want. I hate that they have to approve so many of my orders." The President pouted a little. 

"Okay, but the part we are interested in today is the "or" in the sentence. If we move it, it will read, "...remuneration to farmers can occur under circumstances of federal order, FEMA authorization, or in the case of special FSA programs under the order of the president." 

"And if I throw my Farm Subsidy Investment program into the FSA's lap, we're all set. If we change the "or" I can do anything I want as long as I do it through the FSA." Jed Bartlet was delighted. 

"We still have several hurdles ahead, sir," Toby cautioned him. 

"The first one is to get that "or" changed." 

"That's where Sam comes in. Tomorrow, we have him call the Majority Leader's Office. He'll be panicked. He'll tell them that the President is going nuts because he misplaced one "or". Then he'll ask if they could they help him out?" 

"You got to get the right person. They're going to be watching for something funny out of the White House." 

"The Leader's chief aide is an arrogant asshole named Stevens. He's not known for his attention to detail. I'll have Sam grovel. Stevens likes to be magnanimous." 

"And once, it's in. That's it." 

"The bill can't be touched 48 hours before a vote. If we do it before noon, we're set." 

"What have you got Josh doing?" 

"He's the distraction. He's going to run around and make a lot of noise up there. He'll make it sound like we're desperate to save votes." 

"Well technically we are," corrected the President. 

"Yeah, but we're not really chasing that windmill anymore." 

"The really tough part will be to effectively threaten Sherman and his stooges." 

"Definitely, sir. But I am putting together a plan for that. You're going to need invite them over here tomorrow evening, sir. I hope that you will be okay to be up and in your office." 

"Don't you worry, Toby. I wouldn't miss this for the world." 

"Well, then we're set. Now we just have to talk to Leo. Maybe you would want to handle that without me," Toby suggested. 

"He's not really mad at you, Toby." 

"I would beg to differ, sir." 

"He came to see me earlier. Mostly, I think he's disappointed in himself. He doesn't have a clue how to be helpful in a situation like this except to take control. And so, of course, his efforts to be helpful have been pretty unappreciated." Jed Bartlet explained. 

"Do you have a problem with what I did, sir?" Toby was trying to ask nonchalantly, but he was very worried about the response he might get. 

"No, Toby, I don't. I understand that they felt left out of important business especially concerning the trade bill, but you didn't let it slide. You took care of things." 

"Thank you, sir." 

"I heard about C.J.'s outburst." The President gently changed the subject. 

"I wasn't there, sir." Toby was having trouble meeting the eyes of his president. 

"I'm sorry to hear that she ever endured something as brutal as an assault." 

"Me too," Toby said in a low voice. 

"I get the feeling you didn't know." 

"I didn't," he admitted. 

"Have you talked with her? Is she doing okay?" 

"Yeah. She says she's fine. She says she wants to wait on a conversation until some of this other stuff gets settled." 

"She's a bright and strong woman, Toby." 

"I'm lucky man." 

"I'll say," said the President with a twinkle in his eye. 

"Well thank you, sir. I appreciate that ringing endorsement." Toby teased him. 

"Let's kick some butt, Toby. Let's make them sorry that their fathers ever met their mothers." 

"Yes sir!" Toby said emphatically before leaving his Commander-in-Chief still lying prone on his bed.   
  
  


# Chapter 10 

**Ideas **

"Hey Sam!" he heard as he was wandering around the lobby of the Washington Radisson. He looked around and finally spotted Freida waving him from the hotel bar that overlooked the lobby. 

"I already ordered for you," she said as he approached. She was seated at a table near the balcony nursing a gin and tonic. 

"Oh, and what am I having?" he responded in an amused tone. 

"Scotch neat. It sounded like a good drink for an up and coming power broker." 

He winced. Scotch was his father's drink. Whenever Sam went home, his father would tease him because all he ever really wanted was a good beer. 

"Oohh. I can tell from your face that this scotch is going to go to waste." 

"Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm not really in the mood." 

"How was the lawyer search?" 

"Well you gave me a lot of names of very prominent firms. I'm sure we'll find something," he said dispassionately. 

"But?" 

"You would be good for this case, Freida. I haven't really found anyone else who would advocate and care about Donna like you would." 

"You haven't met Alice Diaz yet. She will be back from vacation on Saturday. She is an amazing woman and a fierce lawyer. I know she'll fit the bill for you. In the meantime, I can represent Donna's interests until she gets back into town." 

"And that's all?" 

"Sam, I live in New York. And besides, I am already up to my ears with my girls. You need somebody who can put 100% percent of their focus on this. Grey has so many resources, Sam. This is going to be rough. I will consult, but for me to take this on right now would be doing a disservice to Donna." 

"Okay," Sam capitulated. 

"You know, Sam, that damn John Grisham is a pain in the ass. He comes out with all these books and movies about the how small time lawyers can take on the big firms and win. You know that's a bunch of crap, Sam," she complained. 

"You're not holding out much hope for this case, are you?" 

"Sam, this is a tough one. She doesn't report right away. Her evidentiary shows almost nothing. She lied to her boss. Grey files a lawsuit and she goes to the police after she has been served. Plus he's got the kind of lawyers that can turn anything into anything," she said looking at him. 

"Donna didn't know what to do." Sam defended. 

"Of course, Sam. It happens all of the time. The woman gets confused and afraid. She needs time to figure out what to do. It happens every day. 

Please understand. I am not blaming Donna. She did what a thousand women do every day. It's just that our great and wondrous justice system is not set-up to understand actions that are not based in logic." 

"You mean, basically, that she should have not showered, she should have gone straight to the police, ignored social stigmas, lied to no one and, emotionlessly, reported the facts. This is what is expected." Sam responded angrily. 

"Yes, Sam, basically that's it." 

"That sucks." 

"Why do you think we're here lobbying for the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women act? It might not be a great bill, but it's something. Something is better than nothing, Sam," she proclaimed passionately. 

Sam nodded his head and then remembered that today was the day that the girls were going to the Dirkson building to lobby their legislators. " How was your day on the Hill?" 

"Lousy. You're going to have to buy me another drink for even asking," she growled at him. 

"Janice said you had four appointments set-up," Sam persisted. 

"One cancelled. One didn't remember we were coming. One guy thought that the girls were with the Future Homemakers of America. When he found out they were assault survivors, he started to lecture them about teen promiscuity." She noticed Sam's look of horror and laughed. 

"Don't worry, Sam. My girls are no push-overs. My mis-named Serenity was on the table in two seconds, yelling in his face, and giving him all sorts of advice about what he could physically do with himself. It was actually the highpoint of the day." 

"You had four appointments." Sam reminded her. 

"Yeah, we saw a guy named Mike Freeman. He is a freshman Republican senator out of South Dakota. He was the only one polite enough to read our book in anticipation of our visit. He was also very good about listening to their stories." 

"But?" 

"He doesn't seem to know what he's doing here. Seems sincere, but overwhelmed. He told us that he has as much power in Congress as his receptionist does." Sam nodded. Freeman was a new man in town. He was going to have to sink or swim. There was already talk that he didn't have the stomach for Washington style politics. 

"Sam!" He heard before he could respond to Freida. Below him, there were five of the girls waving madly at him. They all had wet hair, bare feet, and were in various states of poolside undress. 

"Don't you dare come up here." Freida yelled over the balcony, but it was too late. They were already on their way. She turned to Sam. "They are going to put me into a vegetative state, Sam. My days are numbered. I'm sure of it. The manager has been up to see me no less than three times this week with various complaints. Last night, they tried to get the concierge to order them a male masseuse. The poor guy couldn't convince them that the hotel does not provide that type of service." 

"Hey Sam!" Janice said announcing the arrival of the wet, smiling girls. 

"You know it's inappropriate to be in the bar, let alone in your wet swim things." Freida scolded. 

"Yeah, but we didn't think you'd ever bring Sam down to the pool to see us." Latasha complained. 

"Besides, the manager is tied up in the kitchen with a little ordering snafu that occurred. He won't bother us," Heather informed her. Freida put her face into her hands. 

"What did you do?" she mumbled through her fingers. 

"Nothing, Freida. We got hungry so we ordered some food, and we didn't like it so we sent it back," Pi-Ying said innocently. 

"You ordered room service?" Freida emerged from her hands and looked at them with eyes wide. 

"Pi-Ying never had lobster and steak before. So we ordered some of those, but it wasn't very good. There was some sauce stuff all over it. We tried to eat it, but could only get through some of it. It was all full of some kind of green salsa with pineapple in it. Yuck!" Serenity explained. 

"So we sent it back," Heather finished. 

"You sent how many half-eaten lobster meals back to the kitchen?" Freida asked like a woman awaiting a death sentence. 

"Six. We ordered one for you too." 

"Sam, where is that drink you were going to order me?" Freida grumbled. 

Sam smiled at her and then turned to the girls who had puddles forming around their bare feet. "Listen you guys, go get into some clothes. I know the best pizza place in DC. Dinner's on me. Be back in the lobby in thirty minutes. And I mean the lobby. We will be down as soon as Freida here has had her share of relaxation." He had barely finished speaking before they made a mad dash for the door. 

"Sam, I am going to need at least two more relaxations with lime before I am going anywhere with my little darlings. She leaned back and closed her eyes. "Sam, get me the good gin," she said as he got up to fill her order. "Oh, and if the management starts looking for me, you tell them that I am nowhere to be found." She slumped back into her chair. 

It was almost midnight when Sam entered the First Family's Residence. The hallways were quiet and dark. A steward escorted him to the living room and left. Sam was suddenly sorry he came. The President and First Lady rarely had any time this quiet and here he was about to ruin it. 

"Oh, there you are." Sam spun around to see the First Lady enter the room from the east entrance. 

" Ma'am this is really too late to disturb you. I am so sorry." 

"Don't sweat it, Sam. Right now is one of the only times I will have available all week. So, show me what you've got for him." Abbey had settled herself into a couch. 

"I know he is very busy this week. But I feel compelled to talk about something with him, and I thought you might be able to help. And, by the way, how is his back?" 

Abbey smiled. "Well, as you can imagine, he is a terrible patient. He's crabby, combative, and whiney. Charlie looks like he's been through the wringer. I have only been back for the last six hours and already I can't stand to be in the same room. Watch out, because I'm going to let him out of bed tomorrow and send him down to the West Wing. You guys can take care of him for a while. Get him out of my hair. Charlie's going to need combat pay." Abbey's response dissolved into general complaining. 

"I have something for you to read." Sam decided to skirt any more references to The President. 

"Sam, tell me it's not a bill. 'Cause if it is, if it has any legalese in it at all, I can't do it. I am just too tired to have to translate that stuff." 

"No ma'am, it's a book. And I think that you will pretty compelled by what it says," Sam said sincerely. Abbey could see the serious look on his face and she sat up a little. 

"Well, hand it over," she said reaching for it. 

"I would like to tell you a little about the authors if I may." He said softly. She gestured to the couch across from her and curled her legs up under her as if to settle in for a while. Sam sat down and began.   
  
  


"I probably shouldn't be here," Donna said in a worried tone. 

"We talked about this until 2 in the morning. I want you here. You want to be here," Josh reassured. 

"What if I don't have a job?" 

"We are not dealing with that until Friday. Let's just take each day as it comes, okay." Josh put his hand on her and softly massaged the small of your back. "Just relax. I won't let you down, I promise you." 

Donna took a deep breath and forced a smile for him. Things had been so much better since he showed up yesterday. He listened to her. He accompanied her to the police station and sat beside her the whole time, not saying a word through her entire interview. Afterward, he took her to his apartment and they talked late into the night. He wanted her to stay. He would sleep on the couch. But she knew better. She was too vulnerable. He was too. Their boundaries already lay around them in shreds. This was a situation ripe for potential disaster. She didn't afford any confusion. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him things that she had kept buried in her heart, but this wasn't the right time. There was too much at stake. There were too many others things that needed her attention right now. 

After he returned her to C.J.'s apartment, she lay awake for the hours that remained of the night, dreaming of someday, a day when she could hold him openly and confess her feelings and he would return them in full. That dream was a luxury item. She rarely allowed herself to go there. She worked so hard to preserve the working relationship that had become so important to her. But last night, she needed him and it was the only way she could have him. 

"Hey blondie, I thought I lost you there for a minute," Josh said gently standing before her with his hands on her shoulders. "Everything is going to be fine. I know this. I feel it in my heart." His sincerity touched her. 

She nodded at him. 

"You know, I gotta go up to the Hill. Toby's got me putting on my rabid dog act with a few key individuals. He's got something up his sleeve. Although for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is. He tried to explain it again this morning and I still didn't get it. It seems to me that he wants to do the opposite of what we should be doing. But you know Toby. I had to let him call me an idiot a few times just so I could get off the phone. You're going to be okay, right?" 

"Yeah." She lied. "Besides it's better if you're not here. It means I can finally get something done in this office." He looked at her, searching her face for conviction. She shooed him away. "Go! Leave me alone so I can see what chaos you have created in my absence." He grinned at her once more before leaving.   
  
  


C.J. observed Toby with worried eyes in their briefing meeting. She didn't say anything. There were others there; Ginger, Sam, Carol. She knew how he felt about his privacy and she knew better than to voice her worries in front of others. His eyes were bloodshot and offset by dark circles. He was subdued and focused mainly on the trade bill strategy memo that he had laid on the table in front of him. She knew that he and the President were going to do something risky, and she figured that this could account for some of his exhaustion. But there seemed to be more going on. 

She waited until the others left. He barely seemed to notice when they were the only two people in the Roosevelt Room. 

"You doing okay?" she asked softly. She moved over to sit next to him, but she didn't try to get any closer. They had agreed in the beginning that it would be inappropriate to be affectionate with one another in the workplace. 

"Yeah," he answered her. 

"You guys got a big show coming up tonight, huh?" she was trying to approach him slowly. 

He nodded at her. 

"Sounds like the President is letting you be diabolical again. Does Leo know?" 

"Yeah. The President said he almost had a heart attack. But he's going to go along with it," Toby told her. 

"This plan keeping you up some?" C.J. asked carefully. 

"You can tell?" 

"As my grandpa would say, your eyes look like a couple of pissholes in the snow." 

"He was a profane guy, was he?" 

She smiled. "Yes, my grandfather was an irreverent man, Toby. Now don't change the subject on me," she persisted. 

"It's been a hard week for all of us, C.J.," Toby admitted. 

"Yes it has," she agreed. She took a deep breath and continued. "Toby, are you wondering about what happened to me?" 

He sat silently for a few minutes and she allowed him this time. "It fills me with so much anger, C.J.," he said finally. "I don't know the details, but I can imagine so many different and terrible things. It came to me in nightmares last night. You would call for me and I would try so hard to reach you, but I never could." He bowed as head as he revealed these painful thoughts to her. She sat staring at him not sure of what she could do. Finally she put a hand on his shoulder and spoke to him. 

"Look at Toby. Look at me now." He brought his head up and faced her. "Do you see a victim? Do you see someone who is terrorized?" He shook his head. "Those days are gone. This happened many years ago and it still hurts, but it does not control me. I know who I am and I know what I've overcome. Look in my eyes. Do you see that?" As if oblivious to their surroundings, he raised a hand and stroked her cheek for a minute. She reached up and took his hand and brought into her lap. 

"I see it, Claudia Jean. You're the strongest woman I know. It's just that I want to do something. I want to change it somehow." 

She shook her head at him wearing a sad smile. "You can't, Toby. It's part of who I am now. I would probably not be the President's Press Secretary today if I hadn't been so determined to escape my hometown and those memories all those years ago. Do you understand that?" 

He nodded again. 

"I want to tell you about this. I want to tell you of my journey through that time in my life. I want you to know those things about me. But now is so hard. I feel like we need space and quiet for that. We have neither of those things right now." 

"Yeah," he agreed. 

"Right now, I need to have Donna and Margaret with me. I think it helps me as much as it does them. Do you understand?" 

"Yes." 

"It's not that I don't miss you. I reach for you every night. I want you to be there for me if the dreams come again. This week has made me fear them again. I don't have them often, but it always feels like they're somewhere nearby, crouching, waiting for my sleep," her eyes grew moist as she confessed this to him. 

"Well, C.J., you get the message out to your subconscious that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Tell it that I'm a pretty vigilant guy. And while, I don't want to have to get rough, if those no good, lousy memories show their ugly heads again, they're going to have to deal with Toby Ziegler," he was giving her his best tough guy persona. He reached for her other hand, and there they sat in silence, clutching hands beneath the table in the Roosevelt Room, while the pandemonium of a typical West Wing day happened all around them.   
  
  


**Chapter 11 **

**Confessions **

"Margaret, what are you doing here?" Leo boomed as he stood before her. Margaret was at her desk trying to organize the mess left by the latest batch of rabbits. She jumped a little at the vehemence of his greeting, but was prepared to stand her ground. 

"Are we going to have some of the same craziness as last time? You don't take care of yourself and then you end up in the hospital. Then I end up with a roomful of young women whose names I can't remember and who spend the whole week terrified of me. Is that what you want, Margaret?" Leo was getting red. 

Margaret returned his look with a determined face. 

"Margaret, I have had about all I can handle of that defiant look in your eye. I have somehow ended up to be the bad guy in this drama and I'm tired of it," he paused for a minute. "Well, are you going to say anything?" He finished in an exasperated tone. 

"I want to make sure that you're finished beating me down first," she unthinkingly returned in anger. 

Leo's jaw dropped. He looked at the woman in front of him, one side of her face still a vibrant collage of purple, yellow, and green. He swallowed hard, but found himself unable to respond to her statement. Margaret saw the horror descend upon his features. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but it was too late. He had already turned and bolted out the door. Margaret wanted to call after him to stop, but those words didn't come to her. Instead, she was dumbfounded by what had just occurred in front of her.   
  
************************************************

Josh dropped onto a bench outside of the Dirkson Building for a minute. He had spent the better part of the last eight hours hunting and harassing legislators here and at the Capital Building. It was hard work. People scattered like mice before him whenever he turned into a new corridor. Receptionists cowered behind desks amidst false claims that their bosses were out for the day. Twice he was able to trap people by lying in wait in one of the building's many bathrooms. He hoped that Darcy Hanover from South Carolina would eventually find a sense of humor about the fact that he followed her into the ladies room. Personally he didn't know what the big fuss was about. All the women's rooms had doors on the stalls. He had tried to explain that to her as she chased him out, but she wasn't much interested in anything he had to say. 

Josh allowed himself a smile. He had really enjoyed the day. Even if he had no idea what Toby was up to, there was nothing quite like a day spent keeping this nation's legislators on their toes through well-executed intimidation. He wasn't sure what good was going to come out of this week, but he was certain that a fair number of congresspersons were going to be trying to prove their worth to him in the coming months. 

He was considering whether it would be worth one more frontal assault on this building when a man in a trenchcoat approached. At first, he thought it was a congressional aide, but there was something in his walk that suggested a more cautious man, someone who had to be ready for anything. Josh looked up at him squinted through the glare of the sun. 

"You Josh Lyman?" the man seemed to accuse rather than question. 

"Yeah," Josh met his eyes. 

"Got a few minutes?" 

"Depends on who wants them," Josh responded warily. 

"I understand that you're a guy that knows that the rules don't cover all situations." The man seemed to be gauging Josh's reactions. 

"Okay, cut with the cloak and dagger. Either tell me what you want or go. You're blocking my sun," Josh was getting irritated. 

"Shit. I'm not sure about you." 

"So go. Come back when you are sure." Josh was in no mood for this. 

"I have a friend in Senator William's office says you can be trusted." 

"Well, do you trust her judgment?" 

"She is in politics." 

"Touche. And yet here you are." 

"Let's walk," he gestured with his head and turned toward the mall area. 

There was something about his determination that got through to Josh. He got up and followed. 

"I saw you and Miss Moss at the 4th precinct last night," he said after a few minutes of silence. Josh stopped dead. 

"What newspaper are you with?" he demanded. 

"I'm not." 

"Bullshit," Josh insisted. 

"I'm a detective in the sex crimes unit, Detective First Grade Allan Jacobs," he said showing Josh his shield. 

"You're on her case. Fine. What the hell with all of this cat and mouse crap?" 

"I'm not on her case." 

"Then why are you here?" the exasperation poured out of his mouth. 

"They're going to deadend this case. It's not going anywhere." 

"They sent you to tell me that." Josh responded through clenched teeth. 

"No, they don't know I'm here. But I know the detectives on this case. They're going to swallow this and move on. It's too much hassle. They know where it's headed." 

"Well that's great. That's fantastic. And you thought you should come and give me a heads up on this. This is a snapshot of law enforcement in all of its glory," Josh spat sarcastically. 

"Would you shut up for a minute? I am here to tell you something that might help, you idiot," Jacobs responded angrily. "I'm here to give you information that will cost me my job if it ever gets out. What do you think the job market's like for an unemployed police detective, huh?" 

"I'm listening," Josh responded warily. 

"I know Grey. I've seen him before. Donna Moss is not the first woman to try and file charges against him." 

"What! What the hell! I checked. This man has no convictions." 

"Alright, Lyman. You need to slow down and let me tell this. Understand?" Jacobs warned. 

Josh just looked back at him silently. Jacobs took this as a cue and he started again. 

"Two years ago, a young woman came in. I'm not going to give you the girl's name," Jacobs turned and told Josh with a finality that needed no response. "Actually she was brought in by the Senator Sherman's office manager, a woman named Lydia Sparks. She was outraged that such a thing could happen out of the office of a guy as respected as Sherman. Kept telling the girl that this was the way to take back her power. I listened. Her story was similar to the one told by your friend, Miss Moss. It wasn't going to be an easy case, but we weren't about to fold or anything." Jacobs paused for a moment. They were in front of the reflecting pool. He stared at the water as it lapped gently against the cement borders. 

"The next day, I went to see Grey. It took me about two seconds to classify him as a grade A asshole. He was trying to be my big friend. "These things happen." He said. Said that she was just angry that he doesn't see a future in this relationship. He apologized that I had to be troubled with this triviality. Said he was going to talk to her and smooth things over. I told him that if he went near her, I was going put him in jail. And then he smiled. He didn't have to worry about a thing. A guy backed by as many millions as he has doesn't have to worry about laws and such." His voice was dripping with the anger he felt. Josh stood quietly beside him careful not to interrupt his soliloquy. 

"A day later, the girl came back into the precinct. This time she's got a couple of very expensive suits with her. I could tell they were way too expensive for her. But she said they were her lawyers and that she wanted to make a statement although she looked like she was willing to do anything but. I tried to separate her from the goons, but they weren't having it. She sat down and said she had made the whole thing up. Like a robot she tells me all of this. She said she was just angry that he didn't see the same future that she did. She said it exactly the same way that Grey said it. The so-called lawyers with her kept pressing her to make sure she has refuting all of the allegations. No way were they advocating for her. I couldn't get her to look at me. When she was finished, I could see that there was no way to reach her. She wasn't seeing anybody with those eyes." He stopped for a minute as if caught in that memory. Josh gave him a minute and then urged him on. 

"Tell me everything, Jacobs," he said firmly. 

"It was such bullshit. About a week after she recanted, I decided that I couldn't let it sit. I called Sherman's office. They said that she didn't work there anymore. I asked for Lydia Sparks. They said she was gone too. I called my friend and asked her to get the scoop. She called me back and said that the girl quit the day after she recanted. Said she was going back home to Montana. She told me that Sparks had been fired a couple of days earlier for gross insubordination. It smelled so bad, Lyman. I tried to forget, but I couldn't. I traced the girl to Montana. She was staying with her mother. She wouldn't talk to me. I looked for Sparks, but she was gone too," he paused once more and took a deep breath. 

"About a month later, the girl's mom called. She had found my card in her daughter's things. Told me that her daughter killed herself a few days earlier," he stopped and swallowed hard. Josh felt a chill run through his body. "She was calling because she was lost. She wanted to understand what had happened. Her daughter had gone to Washington a vibrant and happy person. She had returned to her mother, a sad and troubled person. I wanted to tell her everything, but I couldn't. I knew that it wouldn't ease her pain. It would only serve to deepen her grief." Both men were quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts and feelings. 

"You said you could help," Josh ventured finally. 

"About six months ago, I ran into Lydia Sparks. Needless to say, she wasn't excited to see me. It looked like she had been through quite a lot since I last saw her. She knew about the girl. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she knew. She told me that it took her 10 months before she finally found a job in the archives of the Agriculture Department. I could tell that she had a story to tell. I didn't press for it though. I knew better than to think I could promise her any kind of protection." With that, he turned to Josh. 

"That's why I'm talking to you. A man in your position has power. You can promise things that I can't. She's got something to say. I can feel it. Work with me on this. I know this is important. I know that you do not want to see that piece of human garbage get away with more of the same." There was a fever in Jacobs' eyes. Josh could see it. He could feel it. He shared it. 

"Let's find her," he said simply.   
  
*****************************************************

"Come on in gentlemen." The President came out into reception with arms wide in order to escort his three guests into the Oval Office. "How are you all? It's a lovely evening, don't you think? John, how is your wife and children? The youngest is at Yale as I recall. Good. Good! Reginald, you are looking fine. Are you getting out to the golf course this summer? Excellent! And Sheldon, you are looking good this evening. I hear tell you're on that Atkins diet. Well, you look as thin as a recruit in basic training. Amazing!" He continued his patter as he escorted his guests into the office. They were all wearing suspicious faces. At the very least, a tongue lashing is what they had expected. And here he was, Jed Bartlet, acting like the patriarch at a family reunion. 

"Find a seat. Get comfortable. I sure appreciate you all coming over here after hours. I know you all have busy lives. You all know Leo McGarry and Toby Ziegler. They are joining us for this little meeting." Toby and Leo nodded from their spots near the President's desk. Don't worry. I can see that frown working its way onto your face, Senator Labrandt. I can assure you that we won't take more than 30 minutes of your time this evening. Senator Holling, I see that scowl you're giving Toby right there. You wouldn't still be mad about his little diatribe on Crossfire last month. You know how Toby is, you start talking about education, and he goes right for the jugular. But its all part of the game we play, isn't it? If you just got to know him, is all. Around here, we think of him as a big, bald Teddy Bear." Toby winced and Leo's mouth turned up into an almost imperceptible grin. The President clapped his hands together and stood before the gathered party. 

"So I thought we might all have a little talk about the trade bill," he began. 

"Sir, I believe that this ship has sailed," responded Senator Sheldon Sherman. 

"Well Shelly, it couldn't have. The vote is not until Friday. This is only Wednesday night," the President replied with mock confusion. 

"Sir, we have looked over your bill and there are some things that we, in all good conscience, could not support," Senator Holling said. 

"It's almost the same bill that you all pledged support to in this office five months ago." 

"Yes sir, but things have changed. We feel that it is no longer the best thing for our constituents," Holling continued. 

"Yes, things have changed. That surge in my approval rating that happened after the shooting has leveled off. I am not the prettiest girl at the dance anymore, am I gentlemen?" Jed Bartlet said frankly. 

"Sir if I may..." began Senator LaBrandt. 

"No Reginald, right now you may not," Bartlet continued. "I did not invite you here to point fingers at you or to appeal to your consciences. I know that essentially you have none. So I won't waste my time." 

The Senators exchanged looks of confusion. 

"John, did you tell a Georgia state legislator's meeting that I was refusing to cooperate on a compromise to the trade bill, that I had no reasonable ideas on subsidies?" The President looked squarely at John LaBrandt. 

"Sir, the context of the speech was such that..." 

"Ah, there was a context. Well, John, I have a transcript of all the evening's comments right here. Tell me what context the script does not describe." 

"I don't know how to effectively answer your question." 

"I figured. No bother. Reginald, I have a transcript of a local VFW meeting in your home state that says essentially the same thing. Do you remember saying it?" the President inquired. 

"It's how this game is played, Mr. President," he tried to match the President's glare. 

"So I've been told, Senator. Shelly, you said you would vote for a subsidy package if I would just come up with one, and you said it to about 3,000 South Carolina farmers. Do you remember this?" the President cocked his head at Senator Sherman. 

"Yes, but there is none, sir." 

"Well, there was one, but you all refused to discuss it with me. You told me that the days of subsidies were behind us, didn't you?" the President said pointedly. Toby was holding his breath. Everything hinged on how the President played his hand here. 

"Sir, is it really necessary for you to take us to task like a bunch of school children?" Senator LaBrandt asked haughtily. 

"No it is not. Schoolchildren are much better behaved than all of you. If I had my choice, you all would be in chains for dishonoring the elected office of Senator." Jed Bartlet gave them a hard look. "What we're here to do is give you an opportunity to do the right thing. Turn over a new leaf as it were. Give you a chance to start fresh." 

"What do you mean?" asked LaBrandt warily. 

"The subsidy clause is back in the bill. Now you can show your constituents that you mean what you say," he declared cheerfully. 

"It is not," Sherman said haltingly. 

"Yes it is. We put it back in today. Show them Toby." 

Toby stepped forward with three complete copies of the trade bill. He had circled the changed area and he indicated this to them. 

"Do you see, we changed an "or". Now look at that sentence," said the President. Toby stayed quiet preferring to play Vanna to his President's Pat Sajak. 

"This is not the bill that passed committee," Sherman shouted. 

"Well, it really is, Shelly. You see we called the Majority Leader's office today and asked for a slight change in the "or". My guess is that your people have been feeling so smug with themselves that nobody really checked to see what it did to the sentence," said Jed Bartlet with satisfaction. Leo could tell that his old friend was having the time of his life. 

"It doesn't change anything, Bartlet. We are even less likely to vote for this one than we were for the one we had yesterday," LaBrandt had dropped the pretense of respect. 

"In this room, you will address me in the proper fashion or CNN will get footage of you being escorted off the grounds in handcuffs by the Secret Service." the President informed him in a low tone. Leo tried to lock away the memory of the look on LaBrandt's face when Jed told him this. It was priceless. 

"Here is what going to happen. You have 22 hours. You should spend that time rethinking your vote on this bill," he advised. 

"I don't think so, sir," said a confused Holling. 

"This is what is going to happen in 24 hours," Jed explained. "I am going to go on Larry King tomorrow night. If you decide to vote my way, I will spend my time talking about my new grandson. If you do not vote my way, I am going to talk about the trade bill." 

They continued to regard him with confusion. 

"I am going to outline my new "Farm Subsidy Investment Package". I am going to let Larry know that it got into the bill. Then I am going to show clips, and I have clips, of you all saying that you would endorse a farm subsidy package. We are going to do this on national TV. I am going to tell him that it is my sincere hope that with this plan and with the support of Holling, Sherman, and LaBrandt, we are going to pass the most comprehensive and farm friendly trade bill in the history of the United States. I am also going to have him put up the phone numbers to your offices so that people from across the nation can call and encourage you to do the right thing." 

"This is sleazy blackmail," said Sherman in disbelief. 

"Yeah, I know. I've never done it before and I find that I really have a taste for it," smiled Jed Bartlet. 

"We will just say that you're lying. We will tell people that we never agreed to something like this," insisted Holling. 

"Well then it will be your word against mine. I wonder what will happen. You know, the people still don't know me that well. I have only been in the public consciousness for the last year and a half basically. But the public especially your home states have known you for years. Each of you must have at least two terms under your belts. I wonder what they will think. Do you think any of them can imagine you lying? LaBrandt, I know you have had some scandal that you were not that forthcoming with and Holling, weren't there some accusations about soft money directed against you last year? Sherman, I believe that you and I have a little thing going on in our houses as we speak." 

"This behavior is beneath the President of the United States. I expected better of you, sir," said Sherman. 

"So you're going to do outraged now. That's interesting considering your own behavior." 

"You must remember, sir, we have long memories," said LaBrandt. 

"Don't we all? I am learning to play the game, gentlemen, and I find that I am very well-suited for it. Thank you so much for your time this evening. If you have anything further to say, you are welcome to return here tomorrow evening at 6p.m. I will have five minutes available for you. I might even be willing to change the "or" back to where you liked it better although I'm not sure yet. You'll have to see what kind of mood you find me in tomorrow. Good night." With that, Jed Bartlet turned and left his office. 

The senators looked at each other as if still trying to determine what had occurred. Leo approached them and firmly showed them the door. Then he came back into the office. 

"Toby, I have to admit that this was a master stroke," he said shaking his head and chuckling. 

"Thank you, Leo," Toby said softly. 

"You know, Toby. I'm not mad at you. Not really. I want to be. But I suspect that what you did is what I hope I would do," Leo admitted. 

"Thank you, Leo. And you know that I would never intentionally show you disrespect." 

"Yeah, I do. I just wish that Margaret felt as forgiving right now." 

"Leo, she thinks you hung the moon and the stars in the sky." 

"Maybe she used to, but I think she's woken up to the reality of who I really am," he said. Toby wanted to say more about this, but Leo waved him away and walked out of the room.   
  
************************************************

Leo looked at his watch and wondered if there was going to come a night soon when he would be able to leave the White House before ten at night. He still had to return to his office and look over a memo on the Middle East and a position paper on sex education. He was smart enough not to put these things off. He knew that falling behind would only serve to further complicate his life. 

He stepped into his darkened outer office and wondered how long Margaret had stayed that evening trying to put things back in order. When he opened the door to his office, he had his answer. Margaret was busy at the small conference table he kept at the right of his desk. 

"Margaret," he said in surprise before he could stop himself. 

"Don't worry, Leo. I'm not working late. I'm just waiting for you," Leo shook his head a little at her twisted logic. 

"This is really late for you to be here. You're still recovering." 

"It's okay, Leo. I know how to take care of myself," she responded gently. 

"Margaret, I can't seem to do anything right for you this week," said Leo as much frustrated with himself as with her. 

"Leo, I wasn't able to go home, or C.J.'s I guess, until I apologized for what I said earlier. I said it in anger. It was mean and I would never intend to hurt you in any way. It was very inappropriate," she said rushing through her words. 

"Margaret, you don't need to apologize. You've been through a lot in this last week." 

"I didn't mean it. You have never been nor could I ever imagine you being abusive to me," she insisted. 

"If I am such a great guy, then why have you and I been at such loggerheads?" Leo asked. 

"Leo, this is different than you and I being at work. Here, I do what you say when you say it. This thing has been about more than that. It's about who I am outside of work and who I've been before. You being my boss, the Chief of Staff, it doesn't really work for what's been happening. I'm not sure if I'm even making any sense here," Margaret was looking confused. 

"You didn't call me about any of this stuff. You haven't reached for my help out at all. I found out from C.J. that you went to the police station alone to report the assault. I would have been very happy to go with you" Leo said with a hurt look on his face. 

"I guess I thought you would take over, take charge. I thought you would think I was an idiot for getting involved in this and that you would see me as incapable of making the right choices," she forced herself to look at him as she said this. 

"Is that what has happened over this last week?" 

"A little bit. Yes," she responded honestly. 

"I'm sorry. I don't think any of those things about you. You are an amazing woman, Margaret. And I'm sorry that I haven't done a better job of letting you know that." 

"I do know that you would do anything to help. I know that it matters to you that Donna and I were assaulted. And I should have had more faith in you," she said sincerely. "I do need your strength and guidance. It doesn't appear to be over yet." 

"He might not be suing you, but he's not afraid to come after you. This guy appears to be capable of anything. I want you to let me in and let me help you fight this. And I'm not going to take over. I promise," he said emphatically. 

She nodded at him and looked away. 

"Everything is sort of focused on Donna right now. How are you? Are you okay?" he said gently. He sat next to her at the conference table. 

"Do you know that one out of five, actually some studies say that one out of four, women will be sexually assaulted in some manner in the course of their lifetimes? Leo, in this building, you probably interact with maybe fifty women every day, correct?" He nodded at her. "These statistics would suggest that between ten and twelve of those women have encountered something similar to what Donna experienced this week. Isn't that amazing?" she shook her head in wonder. 

"It's horrific and completely unacceptable," Leo said angrily. 

"In fact, it may be unusual not to know someone or even several women who have been assaulted. I have to remember that. For a while this week, I was feeling like it was crazy that I knew so many people who had been hurt like this." Margaret seemed to be lost in thought. 

"You know other women who have been assaulted?" Leo asked carefully. 

"Yeah, I did," she said absently. 

"Margaret, what are you thinking about right now?" 

"Leo, being hit by him wasn't nearly as invasive as a rape," she said out of the blue. 

"Margaret, you were assaulted too. It may have been different than rape, but it was no less of a violation," Leo insisted. 

"All week, I have been judging you. I figured you would look down on me, you would think that I was weak and stupid." Leo started to interrupt. Margaret put up her hand. "I'm the one who was thinking those things about myself. I guess because you and what you think are very important to me, I tied you into my own issues," she said somewhat cryptically. 

"Right now I don't understand what you are talking about, Margaret?" Leo looked confused. 

"We all have secrets, Leo," Margaret whispered looking down at the table. 

Leo let out a breath at this statement. Part of him preferred not to know if anything painful had happened to Margaret. Margaret was both exasperating and precious to Leo at the same time. It had always been maddening to him that she accessed so many complex emotions in him simultaneously. It was one of the reasons that despite their symbiotic working relationship, he worked to keep her at arm's length. He knew that no good would ever come out of taking a long, hard look at Margaret. In spite of all this, he knew she would need him to be more than just a boss tonight. 

"Margaret, do you think you could tell me your secret? I would like to try and be your friend," he said gently. 

"I'm not proud of what happened. I've spent many years trying to forget," she said. 

"I won't judge," he said simply. She looked at him for a long minute before responding. 

"When I was young, maybe 20, 21, I wasn't serious about anything. I was carefree and ready to party." She noted the look on his face. "I know. It's hard for me to believe it myself especially when I look at who I am today. Sometimes, I think that we have several lifetimes within our years of life. And in this lifetime, I was careless. I didn't focus on school. I was merely interested in the social aspects of life." She shook her head slightly at the memory. "There was a guy named Steve. He was very important to me. He was athletic and popular. I thought he was everything. Early on, I determined I would do anything for him." She stopped for a moment. "I'm not going to make this a long story, Leo. He beat me up once when he was upset after the team lost a football game. I was a mess. I ran away and stayed with friends. I vowed not to let him back into my life." 

"Did he come after you?" Leo inquired hesitantly. 

"No, he started seeing someone else. Leo, the bad part of this story is that I went back to him. I begged him to take me back. Can you believe it?" 

"Why?" Leo was astounded. 

"I don't know. I was young. I thought that the beating was my fault. Maybe I hadn't been supportive enough. I thought that maybe if I just tried harder...who knows what I was thinking?" she bit her lip for a minute. 

"Did he take you back?" 

"Yup." 

"Did he hit you again?" 

"No." 

"What happened?" 

"One day I woke up. It was at a football game. I had just thrown up. I used to do that whenever there would be a football game. I didn't care so much about the game, but I was in mortal fear that he would get out of control again if they lost. In that moment, I realized that I was absolutely terrified of him. And then it struck me how ridiculous it was that I accepted that as part of the relationship. I walked out of the game, packed my things, and got out of town," she sighed at the exertion of letting out all of that history. 

"I'm glad you left him," Leo told her. 

"I've never really trusted myself with men after that. I've always wondered if I would still be capable of compromising myself like that again." 

"This has been a pretty hard week for you." 

"When I saw Grey threatening Donna, I think I needed to prove to myself that I had grown, that I wouldn't back down in the face of aggression again." 

"So that's why you attacked a guy twice your size," Leo shook his head in amazement. 

"I have to tell you that I am pretty damn proud of these bruises. I didn't back down, Leo. Do you understand? Right now, I wouldn't trade them for anything," she smiled. Leo reached up and stroked her bruised cheek briefly. 

"You are something else, Mary Margaret. You know that. You are definitely something else," Leo said shaking his head and chuckling.   
  
  


**Chapter 12 **

**Schemes, Schemes, and More Schemes **

"Hey you two, I need to talk to you," Toby said in a conspiratorial tone. He motioned them into his office. Bonnie and Ginger exchanged confused looks and followed him into his office. Toby closed the door behind him and began to pace. 

"I need a favor," he announced finally looking at them out of the corner of his eye. 

"Okay," Ginger said hesitantly. 

"But you don't have to do it. It's not a job related thing. There is absolutely no obligation. Do you understand?" he imparted emphatically. 

"Toby, what do you want us to do?" Bonnie asked impatiently. 

"You can say no," he responded. 

"Toby!" Bonnie shouted in exasperation. "What do you want?" 

"I want you to take a long lunch today, a very long lunch in fact," he informed them. 

"What!" they replied in unison. 

"And I want you to use my cash card," he insisted. 

"Toby, you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You have been under extraordinary pressure lately. We're going to make a couple of phone calls. Don't touch anything. We're going to be right back," Bonnie said slowly as she offered her instructions. 

"Huh? What? You think I'm crazy? I absolutely could not be doing a nice thing, is that it?" Toby challenged them. 

"Well, this is a little out of character," Ginger suggested. 

"A lot out of character," Bonnie clarified. 

"I'm disappointed. I'm shocked. I'm hurt," Toby claimed. 

"You'll get over it," Ginger replied. 

"What do you really want?" Bonnie insisted. 

"Okay, well I do want you to take the long lunch and to use my cash card, but I need you to do a few other things as well," he admitted. 

"Well that certainly is a surprise," Bonnie announced sarcastically. 

"Give us the gory details, Toby," Ginger said, her arms folded across her chest. 

"Okay, gather 'round my most trusted and valuable assistants. This is top secret stuff. I am going to need your utmost discretion on this. I know that I can count on you two above all others to complete this mission." Bonnie rolled her eyes while Ginger emitted a deep sigh. 

"Promise us that we don't have to kill, maim, steal, sell ourselves, or commit espionage," Ginger said in response. 

"I'm wounded," Toby gave them a look of mock hurt. "How can you think those things of me? Besides you'll like this. I promise. Here are the details. Oh, and by the way, remind me that I need to talk to Carol. I have a thing for her too." He finished cryptically before he began to outline his latest scheme.   
  
*******************************************************************

"Hello, Mrs. Landingham," Margaret said brightly as she stood before the President's Secretary. 

"Hello Margaret," said the older woman peering at her from over her glasses. 

"You are looking quite nice today, Ma'am. That tan blouse really sets off your hair," continued Margaret in an unnaturally sunny tone. 

Mrs. Landingham didn't even bat an eye at the compliment. "Well, Margaret, I wish I could say the same about you, but I'm afraid you still look like you did ten rounds at the Garden." 

"Yes ma'am," Margaret said. She had yet to find a way to appear before Mrs. Landingham without getting as nervous as a new recruit at boot camp. 

"You don't have the crutches today." 

"Yes ma'am. The doctor says I can go without if I'm careful." 

"Well, he must not know you very well, Margaret." 

"Yes ma'am," Margaret replied shifting from one foot to another. 

"What can I do for you?" 

"Well, I want to tell you about something. I don't know if anything can be done, but I thought that if anyone would have ideas, it would be you," Margaret mumbled at the floor. 

"Will it include an explanation as to how you ended up in this condition?" she asked sternly. 

"Yes ma'am." 

"The President is having his lunch in the residence today. How about you and I take our lunch together today?" 

"Yes ma'am," said a surprised Margaret. Mrs. Landingham was a private woman. She almost always ate at her desk alone. 

"We'll go to the cafeteria." 

"Yes ma'am." 

"You eat like a bird, Margaret. I don't like eating with people who treat food like the enemy." 

"Well ma'am, I'll eat whatever you eat," Margaret said willingly. 

"Good, then we'll have you back in shape in no time. Grab your notebook. You'll need it. I've been thinking on your problem all morning." 

"But ma'am, you don't know what it is," Margaret insisted. 

"You wanna bet? There's not much that gets past these old eyes, Margaret. I have already talked to other girls and they have all agreed to the plan. We were just waiting for one of you to come to us," Mrs. Landingham said matter-of-factly as she picked up her suit jacket and walked past Margaret who was standing with her mouth wide open. She stopped at the door and glanced back at Margaret who was still standing there with a stunned look on her face. "You are coming, aren't you?" she said which woke Margaret and sent her scurrying after her. Mrs. Landingham quickly hid the smile that was overtaking her face. It was nice to still have a few tricks up your sleeve.   
  
**************************************************************

"Josh, I'm not comfortable with this," Donna said. 

"Donna, she won't talk to us. I can't think of another way to find out what she has," Josh urged. Jacobs stood behind him. 

"Josh, I don't want to coerce her and make her feel guilty for protecting herself. I don't blame her for what she is doing. I would probably do it too if I could," Donna insisted. 

"So that's final? We do nothing," Josh's voice rose in frustration. 

"No, I'm not saying that. I just don't want to treat her like she is doing something wrong. It's not fair." 

"Okay, what does that mean?" Josh waited. 

"I'll talk to her. But I won't push her. Is that understood?" Donna looked at both men with her arms folded across her chest. They knew enough to recognize the end of a conversation. Both of them nodded.   
  
***************************************************************

"Where is my beautiful wife?" Jed Bartlet announced as he entered the sitting room of the First Residence. 

"Right here, my handsome husband," Abbey Bartlet was enjoying a lemon-aide on the couch. 

"When was the last time you and I were able to sneak away for a lunch for just the two of us?" he joined her on the couch and put his arm around her. 

"Actually Jed, today is not what you might..." she began. 

"My idea is that we have them serve us a little something in the bedroom. Who the hell cares what they think? We'll lock the door. It'll drive Ron Butterfield nuts. And then we'll put our tray outside the door like room service. It'll scandalize the housekeeping and the kitchen staff," he plotted cheerfully. 

"Jed, Honey, today is not going to work for that incredibly appealing idea," she approached cautiously. 

"How come?" he scowled at her suspiciously. 

"We have guests, Sweetie," she tried to be nonchalant. 

"What! Abbey! No way. Send them home," he dictated. 

"They are my guests, Jed. I will do no such thing." 

"I hate it when you blind side me like this, Abbey," the President complained loudly. 

"Jed, this was last minute. Now I am going to need you to pull yourself together and be flexible about this. 'Cause I know we do not want to compare notes on who has been more flexible in this relationship. I still remember you showing up at the house for dinner with three colleagues in tow. Do you remember that? You gave me no notice and I had three cranky little girls on my hands. I can see you have something to say so I will just leave you with the information that I am not recounting to you an isolated incident in the long and speckled history which is our marriage," she said firmly while she watched the most powerful man in the world fidgeting on the couch next to her. 

"You did this with Zoey's friends a couple of months ago and you know I don't like surprises. Tell me it's not Zoey's friends again. The last thing I need right now is a room full of teen-age girls," Jed Bartlet had settled into some low-level grousing. 

"It's not Zoey's friends, but you are going to find it funny that you think that adolescent girls are the last people you want to see," she laughed nervously. 

"What are you talking about?" he asked impatiently. 

"Well, Jed, I really should prep you a little before we go into lunch," she suggested. 

"Who the hell is in my dining room?" he thundered. 

"Do not adopt that tone with me, Josiah Benjamin Bartlet," she warned. 

"Well then, don't beat around the bush," he justified. 

"Then find out for yourself," she folded her arms and looked at him defiantly. 

Jed Bartlet looked at his wife in exasperation. She was going to be stubborn and he was going to lose. He knew that when he saw her fold her arms. She was immovable at this point. She would win and he would be punished for his insolence. The sooner he accepted that, the sooner he could get on with his day. He sighed, got up, and reached for his wife's hand. 

"I'll be in shortly," she said curtly not accepting his extended arm. He understood that part of his punishment would be that he would meet them alone. Jed went to the dining room door wondering who was sitting at the long mahogany table waiting for him. He swung open the door and was treated to the sight of ten of the "last 

things he needed right now" and Sam. They immediately started to squeal and shout. 

"It's him." 

"Wow!" 

"He's smaller than I thought." 

"Man, I'm almost as big as he is." 

"Let's show some respect, okay everybody." 

"Hi, my name is Janice. My mom voted for you. She said that you looked less criminal than the other one." 

Jed Bartlet tried to sort through the cacophony of different voices coming at him simultaneously. The last thing he wanted to do was to start shouting down a group of young girls he didn't even know. So he settled on the next best thing. "Abbey!!!!" he howled above the noise.   
  
*************************************************************

Donna found see her sitting on a park bench near a water fountain. She was a petite woman with dark hair and sharp features. Donna thought she looked lonely sitting there by herself with a hot dog in her hand. She seemed to be staring at the fountain as if in another world. 

Donna made sure that Josh and Jacobs were waiting somewhere well out of sight before she approached Lydia Sparks. She didn't want this woman to be further pressured by their presence. She walked up to her timidly unsure of how she would have this conversation. 

"Excuse me, are you Lydia Sparks?" she began. 

The woman's head jerked her direction. Donna could tell that she had surprised the woman. She hadn't heard her coming. 

"I am Lydia Sparks. Who are you?" she asked apprehensively. 

"My name is Donna Moss." 

"What do you want?" 

"Two men came to visit you yesterday. I work with them." 

"You want me to tell you what I know about Grey, right?" she asked. 

"Yes, that's right." 

"I won't do it. Please leave me alone," she looked at Donna with haunted eyes. 

"Okay, I understand. I don't want to force you to do anything," Donna acquiesced. 

"It's just that I can't. I have to keep my job. I can't go through it again." 

"We can protect you. We work for the White House. Did you know that?" 

"It doesn't matter. That man does not care what authority is before him. He'll do something to me. I know it," Lydia was unable to meet Donna's eyes any longer. 

"I know first hand what he is capable of doing. You have to do what's best for you," Donna assured her. She began to turn around and leave. 

"What do you mean when you say that you understand? Do you know him?" Lydia said to Donna's retreating back. 

"Yeah," Donna turned to her again. "He, uh...I know him." 

"Are you the one they were talking about? Are you the one he hurt?" she asked breathlessly. 

"Yeah, I'm the one," Donna said softly. 

"Oh my God. They sent you to plead with me. Their plan is to shame me into doing the right thing. I can't believe this," Lydia said incredulously. 

"Please, don't think that. No one wants you to feel bad. In fact, I didn't want to come here. I understand what you're doing. I wish I was in a position to do it myself right now," Donna said sympathetically. 

"Is he trying to ruin you?" 

"Yeah." 

"Do you know what happened to the last one who tried to stand up to him?" Lydia was getting teary. 

"Yeah, I do." 

"You have to understand. He'll do anything. He can. He has so much money and power. No one makes him stop. You should do what you have to in order to get out of his way," she told Donna with wet, wide eyes. 

"It's too late. I can't hide anymore. I think even if I could, hiding would damage me more than he ever could. I have to stand and face him. There is no other way for me." 

"I remember feeling like that," Lydia said slowly. 

"Don't feel bad about this. You owe me nothing. I am so sorry that he hurt you and I hope that you find some peace for yourself," Donna told her sincerely. She gave her a sad smile and turned to walk away. 

"Wait!"   
  
**************************************************

"Okay, now I know that none of you could name 10 German generals from World War II. Don't worry about it. I stump Congresspersons all the time with that brainteaser. But how are you with the Korean War, can you name any of those generals?" Jed Bartlet asked cheerfully. He was surrounded by the blank faces of young women who had become stupefied by his ongoing litany of trivia questions. Sam, of course, was eager to participate. He was just as nerdy as his commander-in-chief. However, the President had barred him from this competition. 'Cause nobody likes the guy who has his hand up all the time with the right answer. 

"Colin Powell?" advanced Janice carefully. 

"Not quite, my dear. Anyone else?" said the happy professor oblivious to the lethargy that had settled around the table. Abbey could see that it was time to take action. 

"Jed," she said brightly. "Don't you want to hear about the book that these girls wrote?" 

"So, what did you write about? Boys I bet," he said deeply embedding his foot in this mouth. Abbey winced. She now wished she had taken the time to brief him properly. 

"Mr. President, sir," Freida came to the rescue. "These girls are a part of a group called Young Sisters with Voice. It's a group of girls from across the United States and Canada who come together on the internet. There are currently 3,000 members. They share their stories and their feelings. The one thing they all have in common is some personal experience with violence." 

"What kind of violence?" Jed Bartlet asked. 

"Physical, sexual, or emotional, sir. We have put together some of the most compelling of these stories together in a book called Young Voices. We hope that these stories can help other girls, many of whom feel very alone after experiencing violence." 

"You guys wrote a book?" Jed was looking at the many young faces at his table, faces of different skin color, with different thoughts, cultures, and traditions, brought together all of them by the atrocity of violence. 

They nodded at him seriously. 

"Can I see your book?" he asked gently. Serenity came forward with a copy for him. Jed picked it up and started to leaf through it. There were a few moments of silence. 

"Sir," said Sam finally breaking the spell. "These girls are in town this week lobbying on behalf of the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women legislation." 

"Not the greatest bill in the world, you have to admit," Jed said. 

"Yes sir. We would be delighted to see a stronger and more comprehensive bill. However, we have to take what we can get," responded Freida. 

"Yes," he said regarding her carefully. 

"Sir," Sam interrupted. "We do have time for you to hear a story if you would be willing." 

"Of course, I would be willing. But are you sure that you girls really want to talk about something painful in front of someone you don't know well?" 

"Well, I see you on TV more than I see my own dad. It's no problem," Janice replied matter-of-factly. 

"We decided before lunch that Pi-Ying would be the one to tell her story," Sam said looking at Pi-Ying. Soon everyone's eyes were on the young girl. Her face reddened and she had trouble looking up from the table. 

"It started when I was 9 years old," she stopped and swallowed. Everyone waited silently. 

"Remember what I told you," Heather said from across the table. With that Pi-Ying burst into tears. Abbey was sitting next to her and instinctively reached over to her. Soon the girl lay sobbing in her arms. 

"That wasn't such a good idea," decided Jed. 

"It's Heather's fault." announced Janice. "She told her that all the girls in Young Sisters with Voice would be counting on her so she better not screw up." 

"Well it's true," Heather said in her own defense. 

"Heather, it's not fair to put pressure on Pi-Ying," Freida explained patiently. "It's hard enough to talk about the violence without any other kind of added stress." 

"Perhaps, we should do this another day," said the President with a touch of anxiety. Sam nodded at him. 

"Sir, Mr. President sir," Latasha tried to get his attention. "We came a long way to see you. I came all the way from Alabama. This was the first time I had been further away than Mobile. I really want you to know what we're talking about. Will you let me tell my story? I promise not to cry." 

Abbey hoped nobody expected her to make the same promise as she listened to the young girl plead for Jed's time. 

"I would be honored to hear your story," Jed said quietly as he settled himself back into his chair. 

Latasha sat up and looked at Freida for a minute. Freida gave her a nod. Then Latasha turned her head to the President of the United States and she began. 

"It happened about a year and a half ago. There was a party and I wanted to go so badly. Everyone was going to be there and I didn't want to miss out. My parents are pretty strict so I had to make a lot of promises before they let me go. I knew that there was going to be drinking. It didn't bother me. I thought it would be cool to get drunk," she hung her head for a moment. The President reached across Janice and put his hand on her arm. She looked up in gratitude and continued. 

"All of the jocks were there. I felt like anybody who wasn't there was nobody. There was a guy. He was the quarterback on the football team. We have a very good team, you see. Anyway, I wanted him to notice me. I wanted that pretty bad. After I had a couple of beers, I was feeling, I don't know, confident maybe. So I started talking to him and he paid attention. He treated me like I was the only girl there. He kept getting more beers." She stopped and looked at Freida. 

"I don't want to go into details," she said. 

"That's fine," Freida assured her. 

"I guess he took me upstairs. I don't remember much. I do remember him and three other members of the football team with me in a bedroom. When they were finished, they took me in a car and dropped me off ten miles from town. I still don't know why they did that. It took me four hours to get home in the dark," she was having trouble making eye contact with the President. He had kept his hand on her arm and he gave it a little squeeze. She smiled a little. 

"I told my parents right away and then I went to the police to press charges. When I went to school on Monday, everyone seemed to know. I had only told two friends, but you know how that is. Everyone just looked at me all the time. At least my friends stuck with me. The weird thing was that the four guys were in school too. I still had them in my classes. Only one teacher, Mr. Miller, had the guts to ask me how I was and if I wanted them out of his class. I was too embarrassed to say yes." 

"A few nights after this whole thing started, some people came to the house. It was the mayor, the police chief, the football coach, and the county prosecutor. They wanted to speak to my dad. My parents told me to go to my room. About an hour later, they asked me to come out. When I did, the mayor asked me how I was. I told him I was okay. Then he said that the whole town was talking about what happened and everyone was really sorry that I had been hurt," she took a deep breath before continuing. "Then he said that this whole thing had been tough on the boys too. He said that they were pretty upset too." Jed shook his head angrily. 

"The coach said that this was the year they were going to state, and this thing would ruin the whole year for the school and the town." 

"My God!" Abbey said out loud before she could stop herself. 

"They said that I had the power to make everything alright. Then my own dad reminded that I had been drunk and shouldn't have gone with the guys in the first place. It was really hard. I don't remember feeling anything. It was all just happening to me. Finally I told them to drop the charges. I thought that if they went away, I would start to feel better," she reached up a hand to rub her wet eyes. 

"Nobody in school wanted to talk to me anymore. The boys told everyone that I had to drop the charges 'cause I made them up. At home, my parents told me to forget it and to not think about it anymore. It was a pretty bad time for me," she stopped. 

"Latasha, are you telling me that this kids weren't charged with anything?" Jed asked trying to keep his rage suppressed. 

"Yeah, it was supposed to be for the good of the town. They did end up going to state that year and the quarterback sat at the head of the parade when they returned." 

"Did your parents become more supportive?" 

"No, they never wanted to talk about it. It made me sad and angry. I wanted to die. It was a really bad time. One night after they had gone out for the evening, I got my dad's gun out. I thought it would be the best thing for everyone. I knew it was loaded and I was ready," Latasha stared ahead blankly. The President got up and knelt beside her with one hand on her arm and the other across her shoulders. 

"Something weird happened. I started to think about my aunt Mary. To this day, I don't know what made me think of her. I hardly ever saw her. She lived up in Birmingham you see. But I liked her a lot and I decided to call her and say good-bye. I tried to sound okay, but she could tell that something was wrong. Pretty soon, she got the whole sad tale out of me. She made me promise that I would be okay for the next couple of days and then she would call again." 

"The next day I came home from school and she was at the house. I was so surprised. She was fighting with my parents and packing my clothes at the same time. She told me I would be going to stay with her. It was the best moment of my life. My parents tried to fight her, but she was stronger and angrier. I left with her that evening and I've been staying with her in Birmingham ever since." The room was filled with a heavy silence. 

"Do you talk to your parents?" Abbey finally asked. 

"Yeah, sometimes. They still don't want to talk about what happened so it's hard. I want them to understand how I feel. I think that it's going to be okay though. My aunt said that I can stay with her forever. She says she would really like that." 

"Thank you," the President said softly to Latasha. She turned to him and he took her into a bear hug. Everyone smiled. It was the kind of moment that sent chills through people. And the warmth they felt from each other gave everyone strength for another day. 

"Latasha, I promise you and everyone else here that I will never forget your story," he said holding the girl and looking at the others. "You are very brave and I will remember your bravery when this reauthorization comes up in the next two months. You should have been protected from that insanity. You should have been protected by your parents, by your town, and by the legal system. We have to have something in place when all of those pieces fail us. I will remember that. I promise you," their President told them. Abbey smiled through her tears with pride at her husband. Sam gave Freida a hug that both surprised and amused her. Then the girls started to cheer.   
  
  


**Chapter 13 **

**"Take no prisoners!" Sounded the cry. **

"I'd like to kiss you right now, Josh!" exclaimed the President to a rather concerned Deputy Chief of Staff. 

"Sir, I'm thinking that maybe a handshake or a pat on the back would probably do the trick for me," suggested Josh. 

The President put his head back and roared with laughter at his nervous aide. He was feeling good right now. This week was definitely beginning to show some possibilities. 

"Should we send them in?" he asked the room with eyes twinkling. Toby and Leo exchanged a look and then Leo turned to the President. 

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" 

"You're joking, right. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from this, Leo. Bring 'em on!" 

Leo gave the people around him one more look. He wasn't used to playing the game this rough and it weighed on him. However, what he saw in the eyes of his colleagues and of his president, was both clarity and fire. They had no doubts about what they were about to do and he was going to have to trust that. He went out to get the intended victims. 

"Welcome Gentlemen! I hope that you all had enough time to consider my offer," said the President as the three senators entered warily. He waved them to the couch in front of him. 

"I assume that you are here because you are ready to deal," he smiled broadly. 

"Sir, it pains us to be doing backroom deals with the President of The United States," said Senator Sherman with pursed lips. 

"Well, Shelly, my advice to you would be to get over it," the President said cheerfully. 

"We might be willing to consider the original deal. The one we had before the "or" change," said Senator Holling. 

"Although, the only votes we can guarantee would be our own," Senator LaBrandt added. 

"This is the best we can do. And we will face consequences for it, all of us." Sherman was trying a little drama. 

"Well, that's not even close, Gentlemen. Try again," Jed offered. 

"But sir, you had indicated that you were willing to consider..." objected LaBrandt. 

"Well, I changed my mind. The "or" stays right where it is. And you will guarantee all of the votes on the list that Toby will give you tonight," Jed said firmly. 

"This is ridiculous. We have nothing more to talk about," said LaBrandt as he rose from the couch. The others began to gather up their things. 

"Sit down!" Jed Bartlet thundered. Leo jumped out of his skin. LaBrandt literally fell back into the couch. The room flooded with tension. 

"We are not going to play around. This is not that kind of situation," Jed informed them. "I have questions to ask you now. And I expect clear and immediate answers." No one moved. 

"Senator Sherman, do you remember having an employee named Lydia Sparks?" 

"Sir, what does that have to do with..." Sherman began. 

"Senator Sherman, your president has just asked you a direct question," reminded Jed sternly. 

"She was my office manager for about five years." 

"Did you fire her?" 

"I don't recall the circumstances under which she departed," Sherman mumbled. 

"He can't give a straight answer to save his life," Jed informed the rest of the room. "Josh, what do you have for me? I think we need to help the senator out." 

"I have a letter here dated April of 1998. It states that Lydia Sparks was fired for gross incompetence," said Josh before picking up further pages. "These are copies of her performance evaluations over the five years of her employment. They were all exemplary. You even went so far as to call her and I quote, "...the most efficient office manager you have ever known." Josh looked at the senator. 

"What is this? I had very solid reasons for letting her go," insisted Sherman. 

"Well you never told her what they were despite several letters requesting that information," Josh said holding up pages of material. 

"Senator, were there accusations of sexual misconduct reported within your office that summer?" Jed asked. 

"They were false claims. The girl recanted those accusations," Sherman wasn't looking at anyone. 

"Ah, yes, I see. Actually the day after Ms. Sparks reported to you that she helped a young woman file charges, you sent her this memo," the President was no longer asking Sherman anything. Facts were facts. Sherman shifted uncomfortably. 

"In the memo, you excoriate her for going to the police with this young woman. You say that she should have kept this "matter" in house. You explain that there are ways to rid of these situations," Jed looked at him darkly. 

"I'm going to tell you what you did, okay. You have an aide named Grey who is a privileged bastard. Thinks that laws are for other people. You keep him around 'cause his father has very deep pockets. He has no respect for women and abuses them. That's what he did two and a half years in your office and that's what he did one week ago in mine! And I won't have it!" Jed Bartlet's face was angry and red. He was speaking to Sherman through clenched teeth. No one dared move. 

"Lydia Sparks believed in justice. She did what any good person would do. She helped this young woman seek protection under the law. You fired her for that. You also let Grey go after this young woman. You let him drive her out of this city. And you covered his tracks for him. You are as complicit as the rapist himself. She killed herself, Sherman. Did you know that?" the President was yelling into the man's face. 

"This is absurd," Sherman said without conviction. He looked at his colleagues. "There is no proof of any of this." 

"I think we have some nice evidence right here. And if you have nothing more to hide, perhaps, you would let the FBI take a look at the personnel records in your office." 

"They can come anytime. I...have nothing to hide," Sherman had a frightened look on his face. 

"Well good. Is it good enough, Josh?" the President turned his head to his aide. 

"It sounds like permission to me," he went to The President's desk to use the phone. 

"What is going on? What are you doing?" 

"The FBI auditors are at your office right now. They were just waiting for my word." 

"You can't do that. I need time...to think," Sherman said frantically. LaBrandt and Holling were beginning to move away from him on the couch. 

"Sorry, Shelly. Time's up," said the President curtly. He turned away from the frightened man. 

"What do you want?" Sherman cried desperately. 

"You know what I want. That bill passes tomorrow. You guarantee it. Plus you put Grey out on his ass. You make it clear that he never works in this town again," Jed said firmly. 

"Okay, I do all of that and the FBI disappears." 

"They're not going anywhere, Shelly. You do what I want and I don't talk about you on Larry tonight. You're going down, Shelly. Make no mistake about that. The only concession I'm giving you is time to bow out gracefully. Avoid the headlines. Go home and enjoy the sun for a little while before you are indicted." 

"Everything rests on this vote. You do the right thing and I don't go on Larry with your sordid tale in hand." Jed looked at the men on either side of him. "It's important that a man have friends at a time like this. It will be interesting to find out if you have them right now. I know you well enough to know that even if they try to abandon you, you have their skeletons hanging somewhere in your closet. You probably have enough dirt on these two get you through this one last vote." He gave all three man one more disgusted look before turning to Josh. 

"Get them out of my office. They're stinking up the place," Jed Bartlet turned and walked away. The three men stared after their president with looks of shock and horror. Josh gathered them up without ceremony and deposited them in the outer office. They tried to plead with him and but he had nothing to offer them other than a hard look. He felt nothing even resembling sympathy for these men. 

Toby and Leo followed the President out of his east exit. 

"Regrets?" Jed said walking down the hall looking straight ahead. 

"I'm trying to think of one. Nope. The truth is that I'm feeling pretty good right now," Toby said matter-of-factly. 

"Leo?" 

Leo was silent for a minute. "He was part of damaging someone important to me. He can go to hell for all I care," Leo responded darkly. Toby and the President exchanged a quick look. Sometimes Leo could be the biggest enigma of them all. 

"I still got to go on Larry?" Jed whined. 

"Yep," Leo said like a parent to a child. 

"C.J. is waiting for you in the car," informed Toby. 

"You got the other thing tonight still. Right?" Jed asked 

"Yeah, we do," Leo said softly. 

"I'd give my right arm to go with you," he said wistfully. 

"It's not in the cards, Jed. Besides you've had your fun. We got to spread around the entertainment a little," Leo said. 

"Sucks," Jed concluded. Leo smiled. 

"Be nice to C.J. tonight. She didn't get to go to this thing and she doesn't get to go to the other one either. She's going to be a little sour, I would imagine. All she gets to do tonight is sit in the producer's booth and watch you screw up on national TV," suggested Leo empathetically. 

Jed nodded. 

"Speaking of C.J., gentlemen, I was wondering if I could stop you all briefly and ask a favor," Toby said mysteriously. "That is, unless the two of you have had your share of subterfuge for one week." 

Jed stopped dead and Leo pricked up his ears. Toby knew he had them. There was nothing like a little deception Toby style. Toby began to outline his plan.   
  
*******************************************************************

Sam couldn't get over the opulence of the conference room of the law firm. It was large and foreboding. He wondered if the firm used rooms like this to intimidate opposing clients and their lawyers. He and the others had been ushered in here ten minutes ago, and still there was no sign of opposing counsel or Grey. Sam was drumming his fingers nervously on the conference table. 

Around him, others were getting restless as well. It was a large group. Everyone wanted a piece of this meeting. Toby and Leo paced and spoke to each other in hushed tones. Josh hovered over Donna trying to assure himself that she would be okay. Margaret sat with a defiant look on her face. She wasn't interested in any sort of hovering. Leo had tried to approach her a couple of times and she had nodded impatiently in response to his concern. She was determined to face Grey with her head held high. 

There was another contingent in the room. These were the people who had been drawn into this situation by the events of the last week. Detective Jacobs stood suspiciously at the back of the group. He wasn't sure that he had any trust in this process, but he wanted to be around just in case. Lydia Sparks sat quietly, a stranger among these people. She had resigned herself to whatever fate awaited her at the end of this meeting. Freida was attempting to hold control of the room. She could tell that it was going to be difficult with so much charged energy coming from everyone simultaneously. She had clarified her role as lead counsel for this meeting and had indicated in no uncertain terms that she was not interested in any cowboy behavior coming out of anyone. She gave Josh an especially hard look after she said that. 

Donna sat wordlessly while the tension fluctuated around her. She was ready for this. There was a great deal at stake for her this evening yet she now felt the conviction of her beliefs. No matter what happened tonight with this, she would always know that she had done the right thing by standing tall. A little part of her, in fact, was looking forward to facing him. She wanted him to see that she was strong. She wanted him to know that he hadn't destroyed her. 

The large door to the conference room opened and lawyers entered. Sam counted fifteen of them all wearing somber suits and expressions. He felt like he had just entered a Stepford world. Grey followed them in with an imperious look on his face. His entrance was charged for the people seated across the table. It seemed unnatural to see this man enter yet not be allowed to approach or address him with all of their pent up feelings. 

Everybody needed a minute to settle themselves. The Stepford lawyers did a little dance about the descending order in which they should sit. Across from them, Josh and Jacobs refused to take seats. They stood against the wall, arms folded, their eyes attempting to annihilate Grey. 

"Welcome," said the lead suit, a man named Smith. "We are pleased that you are looking to settle this so quickly. I know we would all like to see this unpleasantness behind us." 

Josh snorted and Freida put up a warning hand against any further outburst. She gave a quick look. He needed to hold it together or he needed to leave was the message in her eyes. He settled himself and returned to giving Grey a dark stare. 

"Well, we are interested to hear what you have to say," she said. 

"You called us," Smith retorted. 

"And you cleared your calendar with four hours notice so it seems to me that we all have a lot to say." 

Smith gave Grey a quick look. He smoothed his suit and then gave Freida a piercing stare. "We do have something to talk about. It seems that this all could be settled so easily. We are not interested in causing Ms. Moss any undue stress, but we are concerned about the damage she could cause to my client's career. We need some assurances that she will not continue her slanderous accusations and that she take steps to rectify the damage already done by her egregious claims." 

"Exactly how would you like to help my client ease out of this matter?" Freida asked. 

"She needs to recant false claims with the PD. She would need to make an apology to Mr. Grey. We also think that a restraining order is appropriate. We do not want her to try and approach him again. She will have to sign a gag order." 

"And if she does all of this?" Freida asked nicely. She felt the people around her shifting restlessly at the outrage of this offer. She ignored them. If any one of them got out of hand in any way, she would eject them without a backward glance or a thought to their power and position. She couldn't afford to be seduced by the prestige surrounding her. The only person she was concerned with right now was Donna. She kept her seated next to her so that she could gauge her reactions. 

"She gets to avoid financial ruin. She can stay right where she is and resume a normal life." He said with satisfaction. "I would imagine that you and your client need a little privacy to discuss the advantages of such an offer. Don't take too long though. This offer is only good for the next ten minutes," Donna tried to keep her face expressionless, but it was impossible. The lawyer was speaking with such certainty about this deal. Donna could feel the fear creeping back into her face. 

"Well, Edward, that is your name isn't it?" Freida asked. She got surprised look from Smith that she took as an affirmative. "Ed, We won't need to discuss your deal in private. In fact, we won't need to discuss it at all. I was just asking so that we would more things to laugh about at the bar later on. I am sure you understand." 

"I'm afraid I don't. This is a very good deal." 

"Your deal is horse crap, Ed. It's only worth its comedy value." 

"I don't think you understand what can happen to your client," he offered in a patronizing tone. 

"Ed, the deal is rejected. It's dead on the table. How do you white guys say it? This dog won't hunt, Ed," she shook her head as if sympathetically. 

"Then why are we all gathered here, Ms. Williams?" Smith said curtly. 

"We are here this evening to decide the consequences for your client," she said clearly. 

"This is a waste of time," he said getting up and signaling to the others. They all began to repack their briefcases. Freida sat back with arms folded and the smile of a Mona Lisa on her face. Toby, Leo, and Josh were frantically trying to get her attention. Donna looked at her lawyer and wondered what was happening. Grey had not gotten up with the rest of his team. His eyes settled on Freida's enigmatic smile. 

"Stop!" he ordered his lawyers never taking his eyes off Freida. "We're not going anywhere until we know what the hell is going on. And what the hell is she doing here?" He pointed at Lydia. She met his glare. It had taken him several minutes to recognize her. She found that amazing. She knew his face like she saw it every day. It still lived in her dreams most nights. 

Smith and the other lackeys returned to their spots at the table. The Stepford lawyers unpacked their briefcases once again. 

"This is the nosy little bi...woman from my office two years ago," he informed his lawyers. 

"What's happening here?" Smith was trying to stay in control of his hefty retainer. 

"The game has changed. We're here to tell you that," Freida said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She lived for moments like these. 

"Details, Ms. Williams, details," Smith said impatiently. 

"First off, this is Ms. Lydia Sparks. She was the office manager of Sherman's office who was..." 

"We know who she is," Smith interrupted. Leo saw this as a good sign. He was losing his composure. 

"We had a deal," Grey accused her across the table. 

"No, we had no deal. You took my job and threatened my life. That doesn't seem like much of a deal to me," Lydia said quietly in return. 

Smith had his hand on Grey's arm. It was a clear signal for Grey to shut up. "We're not interested in entertaining any sort of hearsay," he said. 

"Oh, I get that, Ed. That's why we brought the three phone conversations she taped with your client two years ago." Freida said it slowly for impact. "The threats are clear. Would you like a listen?" she offered politely. 

Smith ignored her. He noticed that Grey had started to fidget in his seat. 

"Is this the extent to your theatrics, Ms. Williams?" he said trying to sound unconcerned. 

"Oh no, Ed. We wouldn't trouble you all for just these tapes. You're a busy man. We wouldn't want to do that to you," she cooed in his direction. 

Smith, the Stepford Lawyers, and Grey waited for the next shoe to drop. 

"Did you know that your client has been kicked off the hill this evening?" she asked innocently. 

"What?!" Grey thundered. 

"Sherman fired you about two hours ago." She related unimpressed with his rage. "You are, in fact, barred from all of the Capital buildings." 

"This is craziness. He could...would never do that do me." Grey reasoned wildly. 

"Well he did. It was his neck or yours. He's going to put as much distance between you and him as humanly possible, is my guess," Freida ventured. Leo and Toby had relaxed. They were beginning to enjoy themselves. Donna had to remember to breath. The tension and excitement were palpable. Margaret found a smile creeping its way onto her face. "Try to call him," Freida suggested. Grey knew that this was no bluff. His face began to change from red to a deathly pale. 

"The FBI is there, Grey. They are going to audit everything from Sherman's financial records to the personnel files. They will also be interviewing all of Sherman's employees over the last three years. Geez, I wonder if your "friends" and colleagues are going to have anything to say once a herd of agents is parked on their front door. Do you have a lot of female friends, Tucker? My guess is no. Trust me when I say that this is will be no small time investigation. Lydia here has an appointment with them later this very evening. I am so curious to see what they find," she cocked her head at the desperate man. 

"Why aren't you at the police?" he challenged. "Why are you here explaining this whole thing? Why don't you wait until I'm in handcuffs, sitting in the county jail? I think you know that you cannot make anything stick. You know that I will never see the inside of a jail cell." 

"Be quiet, Tucker," Smith begged. He put his hand on Grey's arm again. This time Grey brushed him away. 

"That's a good question, Tucker. I would really like to answer that for you," she looked him in the eye. She could tell that he wasn't used to getting that from a woman. The room pulsed with anticipation. Donna sat up as straight as she could. She wasn't going to miss one minute of this. 

"Tucker, forgive us, but we were interested in watching your world disintegrate around you. We may not all be proud of that, but that's where it's at right now. There will be no deals this evening. The FBI is working under direct orders from the President. You have gotten a little too sure of yourself. You really never thought you could be touched. But I'm sitting right here tonight to tell you that you are going to get a hell of a lot more than touched by the time this is over." 

"So that's it?" he looked at her incredulously. 

"Well, we are going to need you to drop your lawsuit this evening. That's the last thing before we go. We don't want to generate any more paperwork on this silliness." Freida said frankly. 

"It's not going to happen," said Grey shaking his head incredulously. 

"Ed, tell your client how stupid it will look having this suit against Ms. Moss in the midst of all of these other allegations. "Cause you know what, I am betting dollars to donuts that there are going to be more allegations rolling in once the FBI starts talking to people. You wanna take that bet, Ed? Or maybe, you all would like to go to trial on this craziness. I already got a call into Court TV. We can let the court of public opinion form some conclusions about your client. There is no one more well-loved in this country than a spoiled rich guy. You wanna put your money on that, Ed. We'll put everyone in this room on the stand. And in a week, we'll have about fifty other witnesses to add. Do you think I am bluffing?" she said all of this in confident, clipped tones. At her final question, she fixed Smith with a look of false innocence. 

"I need to talk to my client," Smith said in low tones. 

"Okay, we'll give you five minutes. Then we go. These are very important and influential people here. We won't waste any more of their time. Beside, my new friend, Sam Seaborn and I, have all kinds of media contacts to make this evening," she brought out her enigmatic smile again. 

They filed out rapidly, the Stepfords not even bothering to gather up their things. The room let out a collective release of tension. Conversations started all around. Freida reached for Donna's hand and Donna smiled at her gratefully. Margaret gave the table a victory slam with her good hand and Leo started to fuss at her about keeping at least some of her bones intact. Josh caught Donna's eye. He winked at her and hoped that she could feel his considerable support. He didn't approach her. This was hers right now. He would let her stand alone. Lydia tried to hold back the tears, but it was too much. They were going to get him. She never believed it was possible. She sat with a wet face and tried to hold her composure. A hand reached for her shoulder and squeezed. She looked up to see Detective Allan Jacobs smiling down at her. 

Freida tried to not to give into the emotion of the room. It was not yet time for her to shift her focus. She waited patiently for them all to return. When the door opened, she was ready. 

They all filed in and stood at the conference table. No one took a seat. Grey was not present. Smith looked at Freida. "The suit is dropped. The paperwork will be at your office in the morning." Then he turned without further comment and left. The Stepfords followed rapidly. 

Freida lowered her head for a moment and then raised it, pumping her fist into the air. Everyone joined her with shouts of happiness, hugs, and pats on the back. Donna sat stunned watching the celebration around her. She tried to blink back the tears, but they were too insistent. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Josh looking down at her. He opened his arms and she gratefully accepted his embrace. 

"You let me know if you ever get bored in New York. I have plenty of opportunities waiting for you right here," Leo said to Freida shaking her hand amidst the noise of victory.   
  
************************************************************

"Where are we going? We have to celebrate. We must doff our hats, throw them in the air, and sound our victory cries. We should honor our glory with champagne. We'll bathe in it. We'll share it with the masses." Josh's soliloquy was reaching a crescendo. The others looked on in amazement. He grabbed Freida and twirled her around the parking lot. "Freida, you are queen tonight over all you survey. We are subjects. Where shall we feast, mi'lady?" Everyone laughed as Freida worked to disengage herself from his arms. 

"Josh, you are drunk on victory. Adding alcohol to that would only serve to totally freak me out," she said finally free of her ebullient friend. "Besides, Sam and I have a thing to do this evening." 

"What the hell is up with you two?" Josh demanded. 

"Do you forget why you hooked me up with Freida in the first place?" Sam asked shaking his head. 

"We have ten teen-age girls sitting alone in a luxury hotel. Do you really think they are doing their homework right now? My guess is that at this very moment, the concierge is hip deep in interesting situations that could only be dreamed up by adolescent females with time on their hands. Last night, they toilet papered the lobby at 4 a.m. while the night manager slept," she added. 

"The hotel puts up with this?" Toby asked with surprise. 

"Two things. First, the manager was finally able to prove that the night guy slept on the job. He got canned this morning. And secondly, the girls gave the manager a copy of the book a couple of days ago. He has been a benevolent dictator ever since. He sends them treats all day long." 

"Besides I promised them another Monopoly tournament tonight. Last night, Janice mopped the floor with me. Tonight is payback." Sam added. 

"And they are going to leave the pool open until 1 a.m. tonight just for us. You guys have fun. We're off to the slumber party from hell," she linked arms with Sam and they headed off looking for a cab. 

"What do you suppose is going on there?" speculated Josh as he watched his two friends walk off together. 

"Don't be so suspicious. You don't have to be a part of everything," Donna said, hitting him playfully. 

"Okay, but the rest of us will drink from the keg of glory, right?" he persisted. 

"Josh, you know I can't be caught dead in a bar. The tabloids would have a field day with that," Leo reasoned. Toby nodded in agreement. Margaret felt oddly disappointed. "You guys go. Have your fun. I'm going back to my hotel. I have some briefing material I should go through." 

"That's it! Leo, your hotel has great room service. We can have drinks there," Josh suggested. 

"Yeah, but maybe Leo wants to go to sleep," Margaret added. 

"Actually, I think that this would be a fine idea. You all know the way?" Leo asked. "We have two cars, don't we? Would you all mind if Toby and Josh rode with me? I would like to brief them on a thing that's going to happen tomorrow with the banking committee." 

"No problem. Margaret and I will be right behind you," Donna said. She and Margaret headed for the opposite end of the parking lot. She was feeling good. She hadn't even found time to worry about what might happen to her job in the morning. For the first time in a week, she knew she could handle whatever came her way. 

"A drink in Leo's hotel room," Margaret laughed as they reached the car. "Mrs. Landingham is going to have a fit if she finds out." 

"Donna." She heard before she could answer her friend. It was a deep, familiar, and horrifying voice. She stood paralyzed at the door of her car. Out of the shadows, came her worst nightmare walking straight for her. Margaret gasped as Tucker Grey emerged into the light. 

"You didn't win, Donna. Don't you see that? Am I in handcuffs? Am I in jail? Do you really think any of that is going to happen to me?" his face carried its earlier shade of angry red. 

"Do not come near me," she said trying to control her breathing. 

I'll do what I want, Donna. That's how it's always been and it's how it will always be," he was shaking his head at her foolishness. 

"What do you want?" she asked breathlessly. 

"I want you to know that tonight was nothing. You just don't understand who I am." 

"I am not going back down, Grey. You are not going to terrorize me," she promised him through her fear. 

Neither of them paid any attention to Margaret on the other side of the car. She was searching her bag, looking for something to use, but all she could find were a pen, keys, and perfume. She dropped her purse and looked down at the spray perfume in one hand and the keys in the other. She didn't know what she was doing, but, by god, she was going to do something. 

With her cosmetic weapons in hand, she rounded the car and went straight for Grey. Before she could reach him, she was grabbed from behind by two strong arms. She screamed and struggled, but they did not loosen. A man ran past her. 

"Not this time, Margaret," Leo said into her ear while he held her securely. 

Josh barreled into Grey. They landed hard on the pavement. They rolled around, both their faces red with rage, until Josh untangled himself long enough to land a right to Grey's face. 

"Stop!" Donna screamed and then Toby was there. He moved into the fray and attempted to pull Josh off. Josh struggled and fought against him. Leo joined Toby, and together, they were able to get Josh to his feet. He stood there breathing heavily, his face wild and his clothes rumpled, looking down at Grey who lay on the pavement in a defensive posture. He tried to shake off his friends, but they weren't having any of it. 

Donna stepped in front of Josh, standing between him and Grey. She put her hand on his chest and felt his heart pounding wildly. 

"It's over," she said firmly to him. He couldn't see her yet. He was still trying to reach Grey. "Listen to me, Josh." She reached for his face and brought his eyes to hers. It's over. He's not worth it." His breathing started to slow and his eyes began to focus. Toby and Leo were able to stand back. 

"Look at him," she moved her head so that he could see the man still lying on the pavement. Grey had his arms up covering his face as if waiting to be hit again. He said nothing, but he wore an expression of terror. "Is that what I was afraid of?" she asked softly. "He's a coward. He waits for women in the dark. Look at him shake with fear. He's pathetic, Josh, a weak and damaged man. He's not worth our time." Her tone was soft and soothing. Josh found himself hypnotized by her tone and the sight in front of him. She gently, but firmly turned him away from Grey. 

"The police are on their way," Leo said. Margaret had come to stand next to him. Toby joined them, standing silently beside them. And so it was. There is in the hazy light of an urban parking lot, they stood, all of them staring down at a man who had caused so much pain. They felt disgust and anger as they stared at him. And yet there was something else that inspired an emotion akin to pity. In front of them, lay a man so wrong that they could not imagine any potential for goodness in his soul. They were in a circle observing this curious, but revolting human phenomenon with some detachment. As she leaned against Josh, Donna felt the fear within her dissolving and she knew that she would never make so much room for that emotion again.   
  
  


# Chapter 14 

**Nothing is Ever As It Seems **

"How many votes, Margaret?" Leo yelled from inside his office. She appeared at his doorway. 

"You know how much I hate this running to the door every ten seconds with a new count for you. Why don't you watch it yourself?" she scolded with her hands on her hip. 

"You know why," he growled. 

"Yeah, and I just love your cute little Irish superstitions. It's a miracle you can cross the street by yourself." 

"What's the vote?!" he shouted at her. 

"So I should be running back and forth for you with my injuries," she retorted. 

"Well, you look fine to me. You're barely limping on the cast and your face doesn't scare many people at all anymore," he reasoned. 

"You are a very funny man, Leo McGarry," she said giving him a glare. She started out the door. Then she turned on her heel and said, "By the way, check your own damn vote." 

"Margaret! What did I say?" Leo yelled in all innocence. He got no response. "How am I going to find out what the vote is?" he complained to himself.   
  
*************************************************************

"When are we going to meet with him?" Donna asked anxiously. Despite her newfound strength, she desperately wanted to keep this job. 

"After the vote," Josh said He could see the worry on her face. "Don't worry. I'm going to be a rabid dog in there if he tries to do anything to you." 

"Josh, don't push it. Leo's just trying to look at the bigger picture. He doesn't luxury of just looking at my situation. Behave yourself. Promise me," she insisted. 

"Yeah, okay," Josh shrugged his shoulders. He had no intention of being reasonable with Leo. 

"We're ahead by two!" yelled Sam out his office door. 

Josh grabbed Donna by the arm and headed into Sam's office. "We are not going to miss this," he enthused.   
  
  


"Are you listening to me?" she demanded. 

"C.J.! Howell and Ingraham just voted yes. I didn't think I would ever see them voting for a Jed Bartlet bill. Amazing!" Toby shook his head. 

"The President is sending me to Minneapolis tonight. You did hear say that, didn't you?" she was becoming frustrated with him. 

"Yeah, but you are coming back tomorrow, aren't you?" he said. "I work Sunday, but we can have part of Saturday night together. So it's really no problem, right?" 

"He is sending me to schmooze a heavy contributor. Says the guy has some sort of crush on me. Says that the guy promised to double his contribution if I would have dinner with him." She looked carefully at him for his reaction to all of this. 

"The President said that?" Toby asked in surprise. C.J. nodded. "Really? Boy, is he something else or what? But really C.J., I'm not worried. I trust you." 

"You are not bothered by the President using me to raise money in this way." She was beginning a slow burn. 

"Well, I don't know. We certainly could use the money. And you are a hot babe..." 

"Toby!" she scolded looking around to see if anyone had heard them. 

"Oohh, we lost Magruder. How the hell did that happen? We needed him," Toby whined as he watched the count continue on his office TV. 

"Toby, you are so on my shit list right now," she threatened. 

"I'll talk to him. I promise. Next week should be soon enough, don't you think?" he inquired innocently. 

C.J. gave him her most serious glare. Then she shook her head and stormed out of his office. Toby watched her go with a practiced look of oblivion on his face.   
  
**********************************************************

"Mrs. Landingham! My television is blurry. I can't read the names!" yelled the President from inside the Oval Office. When she got to the door, she could see him in front of the TV fiddling with the remote. 

"Now it shows everything in Spanish. And there's the closed captioning. I don't like the closed captioning. Was that Stephens voting? It's too blurry for me to tell." Pushing buttons on the remote, He began assaulting the television with various electronic impulses. "Now it wants me to tape a show!" he exclaimed as the congressional vote was replaced with a blue screen and VCR instructions. 

"Sir, if you could just hand me the remote," she was trying to get it out of his hand. 

"It's not the remote, Woman! I'm not doing anything wrong. Something is wrong with the TV." He protested. "It's broken! The President of the United States doesn't even have a working television!" 

"Well, I'm sure you're right. Nevertheless, if you could just hand it to me for one minute, I'm sure I could do something..." she made another dive for the device. 

"Oh, all right!" he said as she latched onto it and began a gentle tug of war with the leader of the free world. "I don't know why you can't just trust that the machine is broken. You know I'm missing the most important vote of the year. I won't even know who to be at mad at unless I see this!" 

Mrs. Landingham quickly reprogrammed the set. Within seconds the session was broadcasting in English with no closed captioning. She ventured a looked at the perplexed Nobel Laureate. 

"What is that look?" he exclaimed. "It's still broken. See! It's blurry." She let out a long sigh and walked to his desk. She returned to him with his glasses in hand. He glared at her for a minute and snatched them out of her hand. 

With them perched on his nose, he was able to see everything perfectly. He pretended that she was not still standing next to him. "What's going on? Where are they at?" He asked impatiently. The vote appeared to be finished. But he couldn't tell what had happened. Just when he was ready to start yelling again, he heard a noise. A collective cheer floated in from the halls and doorways outside of this office. It grew in strength and sounded through the West Wing like a victory cry after battle. His eyes widened. 

"Mrs. Landingham, do you realize that you work for a winner today?" he shouted. Then he grabbed her by the waist and twirled her around the office. A flustered Mrs. Landingham found herself deposited on a couch. "Hey Mrs. Landingham, let's celebrate. Get me a beer. No...wait, it's only 11 in the morning. Make that an orange juice...no, maybe something a little racier than that. What are those things called with the OJ and champagne? It's a Mimi...no, a Miranda...no, a Mimola...is that it?" 

She suddenly remembered what the end of the vote signaled. She got up off the couch and headed out the door. The last thing she heard as she headed down the hall was, "Mimosa! That's what it is. I want one of those. Hey! Where are you going?!"   
***************************************************************  
  


"Was that not amazing?" Leo exclaimed as Josh and Donna entered his office. 

"How would you know? You didn't see a single thing," Margaret grumbled from the doorway. 

Leo ignored her. He gestured for them to sit. And then he gave Margaret a look that clearly told her to leave and shut the door behind her. She gave Donna a supportive nod and reluctantly left the room. 

"Leo, this is really ridiculous," Josh began. 

"Don't start, Josh. This is not easy for me either. Don't make this any harder than it already is." 

"There were extenuating circumstances!" Josh's voice was rising. Donna put a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him. 

Leo turned his attention to Donna. "If I make special rules for you, then what happens? Doesn't it change your relationships with the people around you? Don't you think that everyone will be able to report special circumstances when they break policy?" Leo asked. 

"Yeah, I think it does. I was careless and there is no excuse for that. I really don't want to make anything harder for you. I don't want to create a problem for this office," she said haltingly. Her throat was feeling thick with emotion. 

"Leo..." Josh began. 

"Josh, if you can't hold it together, you need to leave. I'll talk to Donna alone." Leo said severely. 

Josh shook his head in frustration, but managed to hold his tongue. 

"Donna, I have thought long and hard about this. This is not an easy decision to make. I hope that you will believe that," she nodded at him, her face getting red. 

"The conclusion I have come to is that..." 

Leo's sentence was interrupted by a knock at the door. He wanted to ignore it, but it persisted. "Margaret, you will be the death of me," he murmured under his breath. 

"What is it?!" he shouted. 

The door opened and Margaret entered. "Mrs. Landingham is here to see you," she said nonchalantly. 

"Can't you see that I'm in the middle of something!" he raged. 

"She says it's important and you know that if Mrs. Landingham says something is important, it generally..." 

"God in heaven, Margaret. Let her in," Leo had capitulated. 

Mrs. Landingham entered Leo's office. Without invitation, she found a seat. "We have a problem, Leo," she announced. 

"Mrs. Landingham, perhaps you and I could deal with this...problem as soon as I am finished with this meeting," Leo suggested respectfully. Getting loud with Mrs. Landingham never seemed to work in his favor. 

"I'm afraid this is related. It's about further transgressions regarding this office's policies," she informed him. Donna and Josh exchanged looks of concern. 

"What kind of transgressions?" he asked suspiciously. 

"Serious breaches of policy," she elaborated. 

"Can you be more specific?" he asked impatiently. 

"Well I can do better than that. Ginger!" she called. 

Ginger entered meekly. 

"Ginger, can you please tell Mr. McGarry what you did? She directed. 

"Well, I took a document home last night that I shouldn't have. I guess it could have been damaging to this administration." She hung her head. 

"Is this some sort of epidemic?" Leo cried. 

"And, there's more." Mrs. Landingham said dramatically. "Bonnie!" 

Bonnie came in tentatively. "I'm afraid I spoke to a member of the press when I was not authorized to do so." 

"My God!" Leo raged. Josh and Donna watched as the circus unfolded before their eyes. 

"Nancy!" Mrs. Landingham yelled. 

"Mr. McGarry, sir, I'm afraid that I talked about something I overheard the President say to my family," Nancy confessed. Leo gripped the edge of his desk for support. 

"Carol!" she shouted. 

"Sir, I am sorry to tell you that I took West Wing supplies home for my own personal use," Carol stood for a minute and then joined the others at the back of the room. 

"Cathy!" 

"Mr. McGarry, I regret to tell you that I lost my office keys some time ago, and I never told the Secret Service as per policy," she stood before him with her hands behind her back. 

"Margaret!" 

What? She didn't do anything," he insisted before she could confess her sin. 

"Well Leo, I failed to inform you of a possible breach of security. That can't be excused." 

"What is this?" he stormed. 

"It just seems that we've been letting things slide and so I interrogated all of the girls and was able to uncover these crimes." Mrs. Landingham said frankly. 

"So you want to fire everybody!" he exclaimed. 

"These are all offenses that merit termination." she said. 

"Were there any special circumstances existing in any of these situations?" he inquired. 

"Special circumstances can get awfully dangerous, can't they? Josh offered. He was beginning to see the plan. Leo shot him a glare before returning to Mrs. Landingham. 

"I hadn't thought to consider special circumstances," she said thoughtfully. "Do you think it matters that Ginger's sensitive document was Toby's kosher food preferences? And Bonnie's conversation with a member of the press corps had to do with a soul food restaurant in DC? And come to think of it, Carol's theft of supplies was actually two boxes of Air Force 1 M&M's for her nephew. But a theft is a theft, I suppose. The circumstances shouldn't matter. Cathy did accidentally drop her keys into the Potomac with Sam as a witness. Do you think that may have been why she didn't feel there was a security concern? Nancy told her family that the President says, "I love you" to his wife on the phone. And Margaret was trying to support a friend, someone she knows to have the best interests of this office at heart." 

"Are you having a little fun with me, Mrs. Landingham?" Leo asked her impatiently. 

"Never, Leo. I just thought you might need a little context before you make a decision. You see, there is no one in this room who would misunderstand if you gave Donna a break on this. We know what went on and we feel that she handled herself admirably. We also think she went to extraordinary lengths to try and protect this office." She looked at him steadily as she said all this. Donna was in shock. She wasn't sure how to process all of what was happening in front of her. 

"Everyone in this room has done office work at home, some time or another. Once I looked into my bag and realized that I had taken home a draft of the President's memo on Russia. Can you imagine what would have happened if that had gotten into the wrong hands" I don't suggest that we excuse everything that occurs. You know me to be a stickler for policy. However, I do think that there are exceptions and this is one of them. And I believe that everyone in this room agrees with me." Around the room, heads nodded in support. 

"How will I know that you all aren't going to do this every time someone needs to be disciplined?" Leo challenged. 

"You could trust the integrity of your staff," she returned. Leo felt many eyes on him. 

"Special circumstances," he grumbled aloud. 

"There are situations," she assured him. 

"And this has the full support of the room?" 

He was answered with a chorus of "Yeses". 

"Okay, But I want all of you to understand that it is unacceptable to take a document home without the permission of your supervisor. Do you have any questions about that?" Everybody shook their head. 

"Then get out of my office, all of you. That means you too, Donna. See if you can't find some work to do." The room was suddenly filled with smiles and laughter. Everyone clustered around Donna offering her hugs and words of support. Before leaving the room, she turned and mouthed a thank you to Leo. He smiled at her and waved her out of the office. 

When the room emptied, he sighed and sat down to a memo on toxic waste. After a minute, he sensed a presence and looked up to find Margaret leaning on his door frame. 

"What?" he demanded. 

"You were never going to fire her." 

"Wanna bet." 

"Last night, you had the termination paperwork on your desk. This morning I checked. It was gone. You tore it up and put it in recycling." 

"Then why did you let Mrs. Landingham proceed with her production?" 

"Sometimes I just get bored. I thought it would liven up the day." 

"What exactly does the government pay you to do anyway?" he asked with a glint in his eye. 

"You were just going to scare her a little and maybe Josh too," she concluded ignoring his question. 

"No one will ever know. Your little posse saved the day," he responded with a shrug. 

"I will always know," she said. 

He gave her a conspiratorial grin and then returned to his memo. 

"The government pays me to work for the most courageous, just, and compassionate man I will ever know," she said to herself softly answering Leo's previous question. She watched for another minute and then turned and left him to his work.   
  
*******************************************************

"Hey, how is everybody today? I am so glad that you were able to visit us one more time before you all went home," said the President entering the room with exuberance. Abbey entered behind him with a broad smile on her face. The girls were scattered on the chairs and couches of the Oval Office. Sam and Freida stood near the President's desk with grins on their faces. Having the President offer these young women this kind of attention was a tonic that could never be bottled. 

"I hope that you had a nice visit. It made our week to have you spend time with us," Abbey said sweetly standing beside Serenity with a hand on her shoulder. "I have a little secret for you. My husband was up until 2 in this morning reading your stories last night. I had to let him sleep in a little this morning. You are all very talented and we have been so touched by your words and your presence." 

"Thank you, Ma'am," Latasha responded. "We will never forget your kindness and your hospitality. I never imagined that something could change my life as this has. And believe me, I know about life changing events." The rest of the girls nodded in agreement. 

"I'm going to go back and tell my mom and all of the people in the neighborhood that you are the least criminal president there ever was," announced Janice with conviction. 

"I would be forever grateful if you could do that for me, Janice," the President said with a look of amusement. 

"We're going to miss you, Sir. I think everything that Latasha said and more," Pi-Ying was getting a little teary. The President felt his throat thicken a little. He and Abbey had talked about how many disappointments these girls had faced and how many significant adults had failed them. He knew it was important to remember this, important that he not join the ranks of the adults who had hurt them. 

"No matter what happens to me in life, I'll always be proud that I talked to the President of the United States," Heather said softly. 

"I believe, Heather, that you and your sisters have a bright future ahead of you. You know your strength and you've explored your heart. I have never met stronger girls before. And, believe me, I know all about strong young women. I raised three of them." 

Jed Bartlet leaned against his desk facing all of them. 

"Did you all know that Sam and Freida have been pretty busy since you all went to bed last night?" he asked. The girls looked surprised. 

"They wrote me a twenty page memo on the Violence Against Women Act. I read it over breakfast this morning. They did some pretty good work there," he glanced over at them. Sam looked surprised. "I bet you didn't think that I'd jump right on it, did you, Princeton." Jed said regarding him out of the corner of his eye. He turned his attention back to the girls in front of him. 

"They made some recommendations for me to consider. What they don't know is that I really don't need time to consider any of them. All of you were able to convince me that violence against women as a hate crime has not been adequately addressed at the federal level. Your stories have shown me that there is still a great deal of insensitivity and ignorance in the legal system and in our own societal perceptions about violence. We can't let this sit," he smiled at Janice who sat before him with her mouth wide open in astonishment. 

"Sam and Freida are hearing this for the first time so I hope that they are prepared to do the work." He looked in their direction. "Because by next Friday, I want twenty of the most vocal advocates against domestic and sexual violence in my office. We're going to take the morning to talk about a summit here at the White House in November. It will be a hate crimes summit and it will focus on women. We are going to put off the reauthorization of the bill until we have this summit. Sam, I also want every sympathetic legislator to have a copy of this book on their nightstand before they fall asleep tonight. 

Freida, I would like you to talk to your girls and their guardians over the next couple of weeks. I want them to be a Youth Advisory Board for this summit. It will mean that they will have to come here to meet with me a few days out of every month for the next year. It may also mean some publicity. I want the network newsmagazines telling these stories so the rest of the nation knows what's happening. No one here will have to tell their stories unless they are absolutely ready. I promise you." The girls stared at him as if in a dream. Freida found herself speechless for the first time in a long time. 

"Freida, I want you and Sam to co-chair this summit and to lead the fight on the Hill. And Sam, when I say that you guys are in charge, I mean it. You both report directly to me. Freida, you may want some time to think about this. It's going to be a lot of work. I don't have to worry about Sam. He's already used to sleep deprivation. You may want to think about all of this," he offered her. 

Freida felt chills running through her body. She didn't trust herself to speak. Sam put his hand on her back in support. She finally got her chin to stop trembling. Then she looked Jed Bartlet with wet eyes. "You don't know what this means to us," she said huskily. "I would be honored to work on this...and it will be an honor to work for you." 

The girls cheered. Abbey found herself swallowed up in the arms of young women. Another contingent was busy wrapping themselves around the President. Sam took Freida into a bear hug and let her cry on his shoulder. 

"Hold it! Hold it!" Jed Bartlet called. "You should realize something. You know you have a lot of work ahead of you. You are going to spend a lot of the time feeling frustrated, angry, and tired, sometimes all at the same time. It won't be an easy fight. There are a lot of people out there who will not want us to meddle with their way of doing things." He warned. They all nodded in understanding, but their eyes lost none of their excitement. 

"Two people came to me right before this meeting. They want to help. We are lucky to get them and you guys are really going to like them. They can each do the work of about three people," he reached for his phone and asked Mrs. Landingham to send them in. 

Margaret and Donna didn't quite know what to expect, and they certainly never imagined the warmth with which they were received. Within seconds, Janice had Margaret by the hand, and was telling the amused redhead all about her young life. Donna was led to the couch so that she could be bombarded by five girls all talking at the same time. 

Abbey extracted herself from the cluster of girls and made her way to her husband. He held out his arms in welcome and she settled into him. He rocked her gently for a minute while they surveyed the excitement and warmth filling the room. "This right here, Jed. This is why we are here. Let's never forget that," she whispered gently to her husband. He responded with a tender kiss to her forehead.   
  
  


**Chapter 15 **

**Connections **

"Hello, I'm here to check in. My name is Claudia Jean Cregg." 

"Yes, ma'am. One moment please," C.J. sighed impatiently. Here she was in Minneapolis on a Friday night. Her day had already been long. Toby had acted uninterested in both the fact that she would be gone for the weekend and the fact that the President was using some old man's crush on her to raise money. It was only a Friday night and already the weekend sucked. 

"Ms. Cregg, we have your reservation. Oh, and we have a message for you." 

"Yes?" 

"A Mr. Carl Sorenson has been waiting for you. He is here in the lobby now." C.J. groaned. Her plan to end this mistake of a day had been to go to her room, get into a bath, and then cultivate a drinking habit. Now her lovesick Norwegian was actually sitting in the lobby waiting for her. 

"Where is he?" she asked irritably. 

"Well, I guess he is over there." The clerk pointed to a man sitting against the wall reading a newspaper. 

"What do you mean, "you guess?" she asked impatiently. 

"He doesn't look like any Carl Sorenson that I ever met," the clerk said raising his eyebrows. Before she could get him to elaborate further, he moved off to deal with another guest. She looked over at the newspaper spread across the face of her situation. She decided she would go over and firmly explain that she was in no condition to talk this evening. She would meet him for breakfast as originally planned. And if he got ornery, then it was just too damn bad. 

She walked over and stood in front of the newspaper. 

"Excuse me, sir. Mr. Sorenson, it's C.J. Cregg." The newspaper dropped and she saw the most unlikely elderly Norwegian that she could imagine. 

"Toby!" she yelped. 

"Yep. It's me," he said proudly. 

"What are you doing here?" she cried. 

"I'm here to see you. What else could you imagine?" 

"Toby, what's going on? I am supposed to meet an old guy here," C.J. looked thoroughly confused. 

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. That was part of the plan." 

"What plan?" 

"The plan to get you to Minneapolis tonight," he said cryptically. 

"Tell me what's going on," she begged. 

"Well, it was a surprise. I wanted you here and I asked the President to come up with an excuse to get you here. And I guess he came up with Carl Sorenson, an old, rich, Norwegian pervert." 

"There is no Carl Sorenson?" she said trying to keep up. 

"Yeah, I only asked him to get you here and instead he comes up with this huge backstory complete with a pervert and everything. I had a word with him already today. Told him I wanted you tricked not terrorized. So I got here as fast as I could so that you wouldn't be upset or anything," he explained. "I told him that he is banned from my next scheme. He can't be trusted to do anything in a reasonable manner. He promised to change his ways, but I don't trust him." 

"Okay, let's talk about your little tiff some other time. What the hell is going on?" she demanded. 

"I'm surprising you." Toby explained. 

"In Minneapolis, Minnesota, you are surprising me. Okay, I'm definitely surprised." 

"And I am taking you camping." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, I talked to Bob Mendoza who knows an outfitter place here and he set me up with a guy and so here we are in Minneapolis, Minnesota," he said looking awfully pleased with himself. 

"Toby, what you have done? I have no clothes for this and no time to take off work. You couldn't have forgotten that I brief the press on behalf of the President of the United States? Are you feeling well?" she asked in frustration. 

"You forget what a smart man I am. I have everything covered. Carol is taking care of everything. Your schedule for the next six days is as clean as a whistle. Lili Mays will do the briefings..." 

"Lili Mays! Toby, you know that woman wants my job," she replied angrily. 

"And how would she get it? Let me see." He pretended to think. "Oh, I know, from a recommendation of the Communications Director. C.J., I really think you need to get in good with that guy. It's the only way to keep Lili Mays at bay," he teased. 

"And I am supposed to wear my silk suit all week in the woods or were you thinking that I would just go naked?" she retorted. 

"Ah, the possibilities of such an idea," he mused until he saw her glare. "Don't worry. I am on it. Look." 

He pulled two large backpacks from behind a chair. "Ginger and Bonnie took my cash card and went shopping." He announced. "I told them to get you everything you would need for an entire week. Everything! I told them that you like state-of-the-art clothing items, clingy things, and bright colors. I hope you like what they got." 

C.J. collapsed into the chair next to him. She didn't know if she should start to yell or cry. So she started to laugh. Toby and his state-of-the-art clothing. Hopefully Ginger and Bonnie had used enough good sense to ignore him. So they sat in the lobby of Downtown Sheraton Minneapolis for a few minutes, seated side by side, while she laughed aloud and he wore a confused expression. 

"Toby, why are you doing all of this?" she said when she was finally able to tame her laughter. He looked at her seriously for a moment. 

"Two big things happened for me this week. First, I thought that I had lost you. And second, I found out that you had been assaulted in your lifetime," he began soberly. She straightened up and focused on his words. "C.J., you have to understand that since you and I have been together...how do I say this? I have been focused on you. You have made such an impact on my life. And then this week happened. My focus has become something akin to an obsession. I think about almost nothing else." He swallowed hard. She followed his eyes. 

"I have racked my brain this week trying to find a way to show you how much you mean to me. Something more than saying "I love you" or different than proposing." He stopped when she jumped. "Don't worry. We decided we wouldn't talk about that for another year and I want to respect that. I feel like we have all the time in the world." 

She nodded in agreement. 

"I thought that I would do something for you that you really wanted. So we're going to camp. We're going to spend some time together alone. My job this week to be there for you, to listen to you when you want to talk. If you want to tell me about what happened, I want to give you my full attention." He was talking to her in his low, soft voice that she considered to be the sexiest thing she had ever heard. She reached over and held his cheek. 

"Is this okay?" he asked. 

She smiled. He felt the intensity of her gaze and wished that they weren't sitting in such a public place. 

"Swede is coming to get us in about fifteen minutes," he announced to her. There would be time enough for gazing later on. 

"Who is Swede?" 

"He's my outfitter guy. He's going to drive us to a lodge tonight and then set us up with things in the morning," he explained. 

"Sounds good," she surrendered. 

"Swede and I have talked on the phone most of the week. I think that we were able to work out some of the kinks," he said. 

"What kinks?" she asked suspiciously. 

"Well, you know, I want to make sure that everything is to your liking. I told him I wanted him to find us a nylon tent with poles, and stakes to pound into the ground. I told him that this is the type of tent you use and we wanted something similar," he informed her. 

"You told him all of that, did you? I bet he said he had such a tent." 

"Yep. And he wanted to know what you liked to eat. So I told him that you are partial to risottos, polentas, pastas, and that you go nuts for a good salade Nicoise." 

"Toby, he's not going to have any of that," she told him. 

"Yeah, but you see I thought there would be some food stations or something that would handle our meals, but I guess not. He is going to give us some dehydrated products and we'll cook on our own. Is that okay?" 

"Toby, you don't do it any other way." 

"Oh." 

"Sweetie, what else did you tell him?" 

"Well, I told Swede that you have a big blow dryer which you use to fashion your hair every morning. I told him that it was pretty necessary that we have electricity so that you can do that. That's when he tried to convince me to stay at the lodge. But don't worry, C.J., I was insistent. I told him that you want to sleep in the wild, and that's final." 

"I wonder what Swede thinks of us? You really told him that I "fashion" my hair," she observed shaking her head. Toby shrugged his shoulders. 

"I asked Swede about bears. He seems to think we will be okay and that we won't be in any danger," he assured her. 

"You told him about your childhood fear. I'm surprised," she admitted. 

"Yeah, well actually I said it was your fear. You see Swede isn't so sure that I should be out in the woods. I can tell by the way he talks to me. I am trying to help him build confidence in me. By the way, he is anxious to meet you. Says he can't approve the trip until he does." 

"I'll bet. Toby, sweetie, you have to do something for me." She pulled his face toward hers. "You have to let me take over now. I will talk to Swede about supplies and tents. I will assure him that my hair will require no "fashioning" this week. I will protect you from the bears, which I believe will be an easy task once they see my bright, clingy camp clothing. I will figure out the food and I guarantee you that there are things out there beside a superlative Salade Nicoise. If you continue to do the planning, Swede is never going to let us go out there. Okay?" 

"I was hoping you would say that. I think I make Swede very nervous." 

"I am 100% sure that you do." 

"Okay." 

"Toby." 

"My heart is filled with your gesture. I don't think I have ever been so touched by anything in my entire life." She stopped for a minute to swallow hard and search for words. "I love you so very much, Toby. Do you want to know what my job is going to be this week?" She leaned over and whispered in his ear, and then she returned to gazing into his eyes. Toby almost jumped up to book a room for the night until he remembered that Swede would be there any moment. 

"Do you think Swede will grow to like me?" He pondered aloud. 

"We all eventually do, Toby," she said smiling at him softly.   
  
********************************************************

"Leo, what are you doing here?" Margaret said with a look of surprise on her face. 

"Well, I..." he began. 

"It's Saturday morning. You should be at the office trying to convince yourself how much better it is when I'm not there," she shot at him. 

"I get a lot of work done on my Saturdays," he retorted. 

"Don't I know it? Every Monday morning you manage to find time to inform me of how much work you get done when you are there alone," she reminded. 

"Well never mind about all of that. That's not why I'm here," he said with an irritated look. Margaret heard this and realized that she had left him standing in her doorway. 

"Where are my manners, Leo? Come on in. Can I get you some coffee? I could try and give it some of that black tar ambiance that you like so well?" she started off toward the kitchen. 

"No, no, don't get me anything. I can't stay long," he waved her away from the kitchen. 

"Okay," she said standing there waiting to find out what the Chief of Staff was doing in her little apartment. 

"Are you busy this morning?" he asked. 

"Well, just the usual. I was cleaning the grout in my bathtub when you showed up. Then I was going to maybe rearrange my closets a little..." her voice trailed off as she observed the amused look in Leo's eyes. 

"So really you don't have anything going on," he concluded. 

She reluctantly nodded. 

"Well, I got you a thing," he said gruffly. 

"You what?" Margaret was becoming more confused by the minute. 

He took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about everything that happened to you in the last week and I can't get out of my head the idea of you going after Grey. It was bad enough the first time, you with bruises and broken bones all over, but now I will forever have the vision of you attacking him with a fragrance. I am still not clear whether your plan was to spray him into submission or to just pummel him with the 1 oz. glass bottle. Either way, it was not going to be a pretty outcome." 

"Leo, what's on your mind?" she asked impatiently. 

"After hearing your story the other night, I sort of understand why you did what you did. But it just seems like you should be more prepared for a situation like that in the future." 

"Hopefully there won't be another," she said softly. 

"Exactly, Margaret. But you did quote some rather disturbing statistics to me and it is not outside the realm of possibility that you will again have to defend yourself or someone else. In any event, you should be prepared," he said. 

"I'm going to purchase some pepper spray, Leo. I'll be fine," she assured him. 

"I have something much better than pepper spray for you. So grab your coat, why don't you, and we can run down and see Master Lee," he directed her. 

"What? Leo, who is Master Lee?" she was feeling thoroughly confused. 

"I consulted with a few people in the CIA and they tell me that Tae Kwon Do is a good thing to know when a person needs to defend themselves. So I got this guy's name and we're going to go see him." 

"Leo, I don't understand," she said shaking her head. 

"I bought you a year of Master Lee. He has agreed to take you on as a student. I already talked to him. He's waiting for us," Leo said impatiently. 

"Hold on just one minute there, Mister Control Freak. I thought we agreed that you weren't going to take over," she said accusingly. 

"I'm not controlling...well, maybe, a little, but I already paid this guy. He's going to train you for the next year," he whined. 

"A whole year?!" 

"Yeah," Leo just stood there. 

"Leo...I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but don't you think you should consulted with me, " she began patiently. 

"The CIA says it's the best thing. I talked to them about it. I was hoping that you would be happy about this. You haven't really let me help you at all through any of this stuff," he murmured. 

"Leo, you listened to me. You cared. That's helping a person, Leo. You don't always have to fix things. Sometimes, it's best just to be there and support a person. Do you understand?" she said gently. 

"Yeah," he growled reluctantly, "so you're not at all interested in learning how to defend yourself." 

"It's not a bad idea, Leo. I could use the discipline and exercise, if nothing else," she said haltingly. 

"But what?" 

"I just don't want you thinking that this is the way I want your support. I like making decisions for myself," she assured him. 

"I'm sorry for meddling...again," he said trying to form an expression of apology. 

"If I don't like him, Leo..." she warned. 

"I'll get all my money back. I promise." 

"And that's another thing, you will not be paying for this," she scolded. 

"Let's argue in the car, okay. Master Lee is a very impatient man, Margaret." 

"I'll bet he's not half as impatient as Master Leo," she joked. 

"Margaret!" 

"I have final say on this. Plus I am not calling him "master" anything. Do you understand?" She said setting out the ground rules as she allowed him to hustle her out the door.   
  
*************************************************************

Simultaneously on the other side of town, another surprise visitor was knocking at an apartment door. 

"Who is it?" came the call from inside. 

"So you are here. It's Josh. I need to talk to you," he demanded. 

The door opened and revealed Donna in a tee shirt and shorts, her hair pulled back, and a slash of something white sprawled across one cheek. 

"What do you think you're doing," he began without preamble. 

"Well, right now, I am trying to see if I can do something about the hole in my wall. Look, I read about it on the web and then I went and got some putty. Though, as you can see, I still haven't figured out the whole process," she frowned at the wall she was displaying for him. The edges of the hole were still ragged and angry. Her strategy was to fill it with mounds of putty until the hole disappeared. At this point, the desired outcome was not yet in sight. 

Josh walked past her to see for himself. He did so silently, standing before it for a long minute, staring intently. Donna forgot that Josh had not seen the hole before. She regretted that he did now. 

"You shouldn't be here," he said in a low voice not yet turning away from the wall. 

"Actually, here is exactly where I think I should be," she replied firmly. 

"You're making no sense, Donnatella," he said, turning and facing her. 

"Josh, Grey is never coming near me again. You saw the terrified look on his face when he was lying there on the concrete. He is a bully. We fought back. That doesn't work for him. Besides Josh, the FBI is on him like white on rice. You told me so yesterday. He's got more than enough to worry about. Messing with me is the last thing on his mind," she told him patiently. 

"Well, I don't like it," he growled. 

"Lydia called me today," Donna said attempting to change the subject. "You'll never guess what happened to her? Well, actually you will 'cause you were responsible for making it happen," she continued. 

"Donna, we were talking about..." he tried to interject. 

"She is starting work on Monday in the First Lady's office. She is going to take over office management for Lili Mays. She is very excited, Josh, and grateful. And I am very proud of you. I know that you did this for her," she smiled at him softly. 

He looked back at her wearing an expression of embarrassment. 

"Did you do it before or after she agreed to help us?" 

"I didn't trust myself. I arranged it before she agreed to help. She deserved a chance to get back in the game," He murmured. His ears were starting to get red. It amused her that he was embarrassed by her knowledge of his good deed. 

"You're my hero, Josh," she said reaching over and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Then she stood back and smiled at him some more. The redness of his ears flooded into the rest of his face. 

"Stop distracting me," he said trying to sound irritated, but he only ended up coming off as flustered. 

She waited patiently while he composed himself. 

"Donna, you should come to stay with me. I have plenty of room for you. It will give you a chance to recover and a chance for me to not worry about you all of the time," he reasoned. 

"No, it's not a good idea," she responded. 

"Why not?" he cried out in frustration. 

"You really can't think of a good reason why you and I should not share quarters?" 

"No, I can't," he responded with some defiance. 

She sighed deeply and shook her head. "The fact that you can't figure out why it would be a disaster for us to share living space is evidence enough that staying here is my best option." 

"What the hell? I do not understand a thing you just said," he said crossly. "I am trying to help. I want to do this." 

"I know and I appreciate it more than you're going to understand right now. But the fact is that I can't stay with you," she said firmly. 

"I don't understand," Josh had a frustrated look on his face. 

She looked at him long and hard. "Do you really need me to explain this to you?" she said finally. He nodded at her. 

"Josh, come sit down beside me on the couch," she directed. He gave her a befuddled look, but followed her directions and sat next to her. She sat up and turned to him. 

"I don't know exactly how to say this, Josh," she said facing him on the couch. She sat quietly for a minute considering her next move. "Just sit there, okay, and don't say anything." 

He nodded his compliance. 

She reached over and put her hand on his chest right over his heart. He stirred a little, confused by her move. "Josh," she warned, 'sit still." 

As he settled, she moved her hand slightly until she could feel his heartbeat strongly. She motioned for him to stay quiet, and they sat quietly, her hand firmly planted on his chest. 

"Can you feel your heart beat?" she whispered finally. 

"Yes," he responded hoarsely. His breathing was shallow. 

"Can you feel it beat faster?" she continued. 

"Yes." 

"Do you know why your heart is beating like this right now?" 

"Yes," he said as he reached for her face and pulled her to him. She let him take over allowing him to cup her face in his hands. She closed her eyes and drank in the excitement of feeling his lips on her, soft and gentle, yet insistent. For a minute she surrendered to all of this, losing herself in the feelings that had been building inside of her for all of their years together. Yet in her head, there raged a battle between what she wanted and what she needed. Finally, in a moment of clarity, she gathered all of her strength about her and pulled away from him. 

"Donna," he said searching her face in confusion. 

"Now do you understand why I can't stay with you?" she asked breathlessly. 

"No, Donna, I don't. Something is happening here, something that feels right," he insisted. 

"But do you know what it is, do you know what it means?" 

"No, but we'll find out together," he said reaching for her hand. She allowed this, but didn't move closer. 

"What if it doesn't happen, Josh? What if one of us gets hurt?" she asked desperately. 

"Donna, we're adults. We can handle this. We won't lose our friendship, no matter what happens. I promise you," he said sincerely. 

"I envy your confidence about all of this and your faith in the strength of our relationship," she said slowly. 

"But?" he could sense her reluctance. 

"I feel uncertain. What if I don't know what to say to you at the office? What if you want to see Joey? What if..." she started to ramble. 

"Donna, slow down. Take it easy. If those things happen, we'll talk," he assured her softly. 

"Maybe it's just me, Josh. What we have together is so important, so precious to me that it feels wrong not to know what we are doing before we change it. Somehow, it seems disrespectful, like we're taking it for granted or something." He started to respond, but she raised her hand to stop him. She needed to finish. She needed to explain what she was feeling. He took her cue and waited patiently for her. 

"I think it is me right now," she added slowly. "I don't have much room for uncertainty. So many things have changed in me in such a short time. It's frightening to me. Right now, I crave what's familiar to me. I need it. What you and I have is too important to me. I'm not ready for it to change. Please tell me you understand that." 

"It's hard, but I think do, Donna. I'll wait for you. I'll give you all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere," he promised her softly. 

"Do more than just wait for me. Think about this. Explore your heart, Josh. Pay attention to how you feel. Our relationship deserves that," she said holding his eyes in an intense gaze. 

"I will," he promised returning her gaze. 

For a minute, they stayed like this, intent on one another, trying to keep their distance. 

"I still don't like you staying here," he said breaking the silence. 

"Not your choice to make, Josh," she replied firmly. 

"At least let me help," he insisted. 

"No, Josh, I need to do this. I need to rebuild what's broken. Let me stand alone, Josh. Let me stand tall," she said getting up slowly. She reached over and placed her hand on his cheek for a moment. Then she left him sitting there while she left to challenge the pain that, a few days earlier, had so threatened to consume her life. 

THE END


End file.
